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----- Original Message -----
From: Charles
Sent: Saturday, January 17, 2004 10:49 PM
Subject: RE: [Sndbox] FW: OK, I'm going to be brave.... 'twasn't bad. At first I was
reading it with the eye toward publishing as you mentioned and couldn't decide
what market would welcome it. It wasn't that it was bad, in fact it was
quite well written, but I couldn't figure out who the target audience would
be.
I suppose human interest story
perhaps, or a magazine article.
Pros: You conveyed the joy and
love the children bring quite well. You managed to leave the reader with
the feeling of being present, always a positive thing. Visualization of
the activities were easy, so your descriptions were well
crafted.
Cons: Some verbosity. You
over-explained in some areas, it wsa information overload.
Overall it was a good
job.
Charles Mims
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Saturday, January 17, 2004 10:41 PM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: Re: [Sndbox] FW: OK, I'm going to be brave.... In a message dated 1/17/2004 10:19:38 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
I haven't read it yet.... I figured either that or you read it and thought it sucked.
Erica "I don't
want to control everything, I just want people and events to mold to my
desires!"
-- Tino Tonitini www.marykay.com/ericava
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