Ed, i'm having a constant loop here ;) F. On Tuesday, March 4, 2014, Ed Manning <etmth...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Stage 1 lasted nearly 5 years. It's only natural to spend a few days in > stage 2. > > > The stages, popularly known by the acronym *DABDA*, > include:[2]<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model#cite_note-Santrock-2> > > 1. *Denial <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denial>* -- As the reality of > loss is hard to face, one of the first reactions to follow the loss is > Denial. What this means is that the person is trying to shut out the > reality or magnitude of their situation, and begin to develop a false, > preferable reality. > 2. *Anger <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anger>* -- "Why me? It's not > fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?" > Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot > continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to > misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Anger can manifest itself in different > ways. People can be angry with themselves, or with others, and especially > those who are close to them. It is important to remain detached and > nonjudgmental when dealing with a person experiencing anger from grief. > 3. *Bargaining <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bargaining>* -- "I'll do > anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..." > The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow undo > or avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is > made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Other times, > they will use any thing valuable as a bargaining chip against another human > agency to extend or prolong the life they live. Psychologically, the > individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just do > something to buy more time..." People facing less serious trauma can > bargain > or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example "Can we still be friends?" > when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, > especially if it is a matter of life or death. > 4. *Depression <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_(mood)>* -- > "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's > the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?" > During the fourth stage, the grieving person begins to understand the > certainty of death. Much like the existential concept of *The Void,* the > idea of living becomes pointless. Things begin to lose meaning to the > griever. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors > and spend much of the time crying and sullen. This process allows the > grieving person to disconnect from things of love and affection, possibly > in an attempt to avoid further trauma. Depression could be referred to as > the dress rehearsal for the 'aftermath'. It is a kind of acceptance with > emotional attachment. It is natural to feel sadness, regret, fear, and > uncertainty when going through this stage. Feeling those emotions shows > that the person has begun to accept the situation. Often times, this is the > ideal path to take, to find closure and make their ways to the fifth step, > Acceptance. > 5. *Acceptance <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance>* -- "It's > going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it." > In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their > mortality or inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic > event. This stage varies according to the person's situation. People dying > can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who > must pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief. > This typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, > and a stable mindset. > >
