On 4 Mar 2009, at 17:39, SteveC wrote:
> You can come to my house and I will make you dinner and you can
> inspect under my bed there is no satanic portal to the 3rd circle of
> Hell. In fact you are all welcome. I will cook you my awesome (awsum)
> organic, 100% Free Of Everything cracked pepper penne with organic
> local spicy sausages and fresh sauce and we can hunt together! But I
> want a being John Malkovich kind of portal where I turn in to Shaun
> McDonald and go on 115 mile bike rides.
>
> Deal?

Matt points out that he is vegetarian and therefore I am Evil in  
trying to feed him animals.

See! You can't win. See two excellent books on the subject:

        
http://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Cant-Win-Jack-Black/dp/9562915093/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1236217511&sr=8-2

        
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Certain-Win-Chet-Richards/dp/1413453767/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1236217539&sr=1-1


I've read them both and they'll blow your mind.

Kool with a K!

Best

Steve


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