Thanks Beth. The problem isn't really confronting the former student; it's responding to the reference email from the employer. I hate to torpedo the former student completely by telling the employer I can't serve as a reference, because as coordinator of the program, I do have some interest in getting my graduates hired. But yes, I do plan to notify the student to not keep me on her resume. David
At 09:52 AM 11/19/2008, you wrote: >Someone on TIPS had a similar problem a few >years ago, and I still remember the response >and have used it. Just say that you feel its >only fair to let her know that you dont think a >reference from you would be helpful to her. If >she doesnt quite get that, then add that future >employers are usually looking for positive >remarks and you dont feel that, under the >circumstances, you would be able to offer that. > >Its a little gentler than saying, Are you >kidding? You think, after what you did, Id >ever write anything good about you? > >Beth Benoit >Granite State College >New Hampshire > >From: David Wasieleski [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] >Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 9:47 AM >To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) >Subject: [tips] Reference Problem > > >Hey all. Today I received an email from someone >asking for a reference for a former student of >mine who is applying for the job. The emails >asks of course for information on her aptitude >and work ethic. Without going into all the gory >details, this student ended up as a thesis >student of mine and actually displayed >significant problems with work ethic (e.g., >going off to Las Vegas for four days with less >than two weeks to get her thesis done to >graduate on time, and then expecting me to >respond overnight to a draft sent to me). Since >her graduation the student asked if I would >serve as a reference, and I suggested that given >all that had happened, others would serve better >as a reference for her. So this email comes as a >dismaying surprise. I of course do not plan to >respond to it via email but by phone. I don't >know that I want to simply state that I don't >want to serve as a reference. But clearly this >puts me in a bind regarding what to say when I >do make that phone call. Has anyone else dealt with similar circumstances? > >David T. Wasieleski, Ph.D. >Professor >Department of Psychology and Counseling >Valdosta State University >Valdosta, GA 31698 >229-333-5620 ><http://chiron.valdosta.edu/dtwasieleski>http://chiron.valdosta.edu/dtwasieleski > >"The only thing that ever made sense in my life >is the sound of my little girl laughing through >the window on a summer night... >Just the sound of my little girl laughing >makes me happy just to be alive..." > --Everclear > "Song from an American Movie" > >--- > >To make changes to your subscription contact: > > > >Bill Southerly ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) > >--- >To make changes to your subscription contact: > >Bill Southerly ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) David T. Wasieleski, Ph.D. Professor Department of Psychology and Counseling Valdosta State University Valdosta, GA 31698 229-333-5620 http://chiron.valdosta.edu/dtwasieleski "The only thing that ever made sense in my life is the sound of my little girl laughing through the window on a summer night... Just the sound of my little girl laughing makes me happy just to be alive..." --Everclear "Song from an American Movie" --- To make changes to your subscription contact: Bill Southerly ([EMAIL PROTECTED])
