Mark wrote:

So, needless to say, this is quite serious. Like I said, I even got an
admin (not a silly helpdesk clerk) to admit that it's a bug; but they're
not gonna fix it. That's why I was looking for a way around it.

Well then, I'm afraid that all I can tell you is to look for another hosting site.

As I mentioned earlier, I (and many others) have the same kind of thing working flawlessly at umpteen sites, with umpteen versions of Apache and Perl. If the script fails to do the "new CGI", plus this apr message you get in the logs, then there is undoubtedly something wrong in the host configuration, or a software mismatch, or whatever, without a lot more information it is impossible to tell. But since they don't want to fix it anyway, there are not a lot of options left.
I don't think that there is a workaround to that.

Incidentally, how much are you paying for hosting this ?
I'm just curious, since you seem to be in the US, N.Y. and I'm in Europe.

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