Dear Weenie Man and All,
A while back you mentioned the appearance then re-appearance of our Mr.
Schwamp without logical explanation or sequence....unfortunately, you and
all of us Mayberrians may be suffering from a condition or phenomena
referred to in the books as "polySchwampamania" (or in layman's terms, the
unexplained presence of multiple "Schwamp-like" visual manifestation(s)
without logical, scientific explanation.) I read about it in Learn-A-Month
magazine; that month covered The Strange and Unexplained.
Please check yourself for the following:
1) A nodding and smiling "compelsion"
2) An abnormal attraction to toupees and the overwhelming desire to
wear one even if you are not bald.
3) A strong but possibly irrational or flawed belief that Mr. Schwamp is
"omnipresent" in Mayberry.
4) You don't happen to like your main dish concealed in a heavy sauce.
(This one is statistically rare and is also seen in Barnaphobia).
Well, I hope that eases your mind.
Mari Ellen (Resident Northern Person and Schwampophile)
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