michelle olson wrote:
> Hi Mark,
>
> Thanks for your time to feedback, my replies inline.
>
> Mark Martin wrote:
>> On Tue, Jan 20, 2009 at 7:33 PM, Michelle Olson <[email protected]> 
>> wrote:
>>   
>>> Hi all,
>>>
>>> I've drafted a feature spot for the test community here:
>>>
>>> http://opensolaris.org/os/project/website/content/home_page_draft_24
>>>
>>> Let me know what you think.
>>>     
>>
>> My impressions, if I may...
>>
>> - The picture is nice, but I'm not sure if it conveys anything.  Most
>> of the graphics up till now have conveyed a particular style, and now
>> we have this picture.  Actually, that may not be so bad, but it looks
>> like a small group of computers, and downplays the fact that there are
>> more resources available (virtualization = lots and lots and lots).
>> Is there a "Cabinet 02" or a "OSTF02?"  I dunno, could just be me.
>>   
>
> Probably not just you, the first graphic is usually scrapped in early 
> feature spot reviews, this is likely no exception :) I try to mix it 
> up (graphics, screenshots, photos) to keep it interesting, so I 
> started with a photo for this one since we've had a few weeks of 
> illustrations. Let me know if you've seen something that conveys 
> something more and I'll add it to the draft, meantime I'll poke around 
> for a better one.

I've slept on it.  I'm switching my vote to keeping the picture.  You're 
right, it's a change of pace.
>
>> - I'm not sure, but does "many resources including" need a colon?  Or
>> maybe a mix of semi colons because aren't the first three items also a
>> sublist?
>>   
>
> Good catch, I've added a colon and separated into two sentences, let 
> me know if you think it is better/worse.
Works for me but I struggled with English classes in school.  No lye.  
On second look, though, I think the last part should be "..repositories, 
*and* a self-service....".
>
>> - The last sentence seems a big over the top.  "High Quality"
>> conversation?  It's clever, but is it too much? He who would pick a
>> pun...  Those QA folk, always wise-cracking.  I dunno, could just be
>> me.  I'm just wondering if something different could be said to end
>> strongly.
>>   
>
> Yes, you are right, if I'm stuck or it is late in the day, I often 
> write something cheeky and just get it out for review, warts and all. 
> I like your suggestion below, so I've added it to the current draft, 
> let me know what you think.
I like the flow a little better.  Visually and semantically. 

_______________________________________________
website-discuss mailing list
[email protected]

Reply via email to