Siska, The short answer to your questions is: yes, of course you can utilize koans on your own. Buddha Guatama did by sitting under the bodhi tree. There are many versions of this story/myth, but one I found online at http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/buddhism/pbs2_unit03.htm <http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/buddhism/pbs2_unit03.htm> is:
"Still seeking a way to understand the meaning of life, Siddhartha set out for Buddhagaya. Near a grove, he sat down under a huge Bodhi tree. Silently he vowed, "Even if my flesh and blood were to dry up, leaving only skin and bones, I will not leave this place until I find a way to end all sorrow." He sat there for forty nine days. He was determined to discover the source of all pain and suffering in the world." Buddha's koan might be stated as 'What is the meaning of life?', or 'What is the source of all pain and sufferring?', or 'How can we bring an end to all sorrow?'; and very importantly he worked on this with the utmost determination, vowing not to quit until he either found the answer or died. This is what koan practice is. Buddha had no special (supernatural) powers. If he could do it, so could you. HOWEVER, having said all that, I would not recommend you to embark on koan study on your own. If you have to practice zen entirely on your own I would recommend you just do zazen - shikantaza (clear mind meditation). If you'd like instructions on that I'll post them or post links to them. I am not a teacher. JMJM is a Chan Teacher and I hope he responds as to if/how someone could begin zen/Chan practice on their own. I'd also be interested in his comments. ...Bill! --- In [email protected], siska_cen@... wrote: > > Hi Bill, > > That whole process of first experiencing Buddha Nature (kensho) and then integrating it into your life without being fooled (as I've described above) is the purpose of Zen Buddhist koan study. > [siska] I'd love to do koan study. It is not possible to do this without a teacher, is it? > > Thanks for your response Bill, it was such a relief that you get what I was trying to say. It is always difficult for me to put it into words. > > Ps: the red corvette sounds like a fun ride :-) > > siska > -----Original Message----- > From: "Bill!" BillSmart@... > Sender: [email protected] > Date: Thu, 07 Apr 2011 02:10:39 > To: [email protected] > Reply-To: [email protected] > Subject: Re: [Zen] Why bother with Zazen? Better Orgyhouse > > Siska, My comments are embedded below: > > > [Bill!] I don't really understand this statement well enough to respond. Why do you qualify decisions with 'big', > > [siska] what I meant by 'big decision' is decision that have 'longer' (?) impact. Say, deciding to marry someone, or deciding to leave everything behind and go forth. I suppose we can do this by intuition, and perhaps we should. But sometimes I find that intuition is not intuition, there is still very subtle framework behind what comes up as intuition. > [Bill! 2] I know what you mean and I of course do that also. BUT, sometimes I think I might FIRST make the decision basen on impulse or 'intuition' (or homones) and then LATER JUSTIFY it with logic. This process can happen very, very quickly. Like deciding to buy a red Corvette convertible because it will retain it's value. Ha! > > > > > [Bill!] and why should they be handled differently than any other decision? > > [siska] I'd definitely be less concerned with this when it comes to deciding what I should have for lunch today, although I suppose this is dualism point of view? :-) > [Bill! 2} Okay, that's a key. You're concerned with how they will affect 'you' in the 'future'. Both 'you' and 'future' as I'm sure you know are illusory - but again I must confess I do the same thing myself. > > > [Bill!] I'm not aware of any non-attachment 'attitude' that does not come from awareness. Where would it come from? Unless by 'non-attachment attitude' you just mean disinterst? > > [siska] I did not mean disinterest. Now, this is a little difficult for me to describe. > > > > The mind can be very tricky. Maybe, at one point, it experienced a state where it was 'un-attached to anything' (not sure if this is the right way of describing that state). When the mind is not in this state, it adopts what it regards as being non-attached as an 'attitude'. But because the mind is not actually in that state, choices and decisions made are still based on a framework instead of real intuition. > > > [Bill! 2] I can again relate to this. I think our discriminating mind quickly learns and adapts to this 'no-attachment' thing and soon begins to present things to you as if there are no attachments - but there are. They're just hidded a little better than they used to be. That whole process of first experiencing Buddha Nature (kensho) and then integrating it into your life without being fooled (as I've described above) is the purpose of Zen Buddhist koan study. I'm also sure the process is never complete. > > > Feels like too much thinking going on in my head :-p > > > [Bill! 2] Yeah, I know the feeling! > > ...Bill! >
