Hi Rahul, Just answering the below part of the question: Why should one be polite...? Well if politeness is your temperament, then you will always be polite! I personally try not to give up my loving politeness when a dog comes along and barks at me! For barking is not how I communicate! And mostly this has served me well. The rest of the things can be very different than what we understood, for I have meet yu at various times, and I do know you are a polite and good guy!
So treat this whole episode as a learning experience and move on! You will meet all kinds of people everywhere. And these days people are most disturbed in their own lives, hensce, they behave strangely with others! It is all about them and not all about you!WarmlyPreeti Preeti Monga - Chief Executive Officer Inspiring INCLUSION! Fostering DIGNITY! Mobile : 91 9871701646 Landline : 011 22781446 E-mail : preeti.mo...@silver-linings.org Website : www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Recruitment, Trainings- Unique Motivation Programmes, Diversity & Inclusion, POSH. Your Choice to partner with us contributes towards quality Education & Empowerment of Visually Impaired Girls, and providing them with secure Hostel facility at SHIKSHA (A CSR Initiative of Silver Linings) -----Original Message----- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Rahul Bajaj Sent: 06 January 2018 22:48 To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] Learning how to call people out for ableism in a graceful fashion Just bumping this thread because it somehow disappeared from my inbox. On 06/01/2018, Rahul Bajaj <rahul.bajaj10...@gmail.com> wrote: > Thanks, everyone. > 1. On the mobility issue, I agree that my argument was wrongly worded and I > would like to retract it. As a matter of fact, I do take the help of office > boys to get to my senior's place and have often refused offers from them > that they should come to my desk. > 2. It is not uncommon in our firm for seniors to go to junior's desks to > give instructions and discuss issues. In fact, we don't have a hierarchical > structure and we are all asked to call each other by name. This fellow was > hardly a couple of years elder to me; he is not a partner or in a senior > position. > 3. I must say that I found at least Shireen's views nuanced and well > balanced. Others have completely sought to invalidate my experience and > trivialize it as a non-issue, unfortunately. > 4. As I mentioned in my first mail, I always strivw for unfailing > politeness, so, with great respect, I feel that the lessons on value > education are uncalled for here. Why should you be polite to someone who > treats you like a doormat? > 5. Let me explain things a bit better. I asked the office boy to go and ask > this senior how the affidavits were to be picked out from the pile of hard > copy documents because I could obviously not do this. In return, the senior > said what I set out in my first mail. This is essentially a clerical job > which the office boy had to do. He first came to seek instructions from me. > Then I asked him to seek instructions from the senior who was better > positioned to instruct him in this matter. Then the senior said what I found > offensive. > 6. When substantive legal work is involved, I myself go to my seniors. I > thought this was something the office boy could manage with the senior. > 7. I honestly find Avinash's distortion of the senior's allegedlyoffensive > remark laughable and unworthy of a considered reply. > 8. Imagine this: there are two people - a and b. A can see and b is blind. > There is a task which can only be performed if you have vision. B asks the > person who has to execute the task to seekinstructions from a. In this > situation, isn't a giving these instructions a reasonable accommodation? I > am at a loss to understand how this should be a favour or request. > 9. I am a huge believer in kindness and politeness and strive to practice it > everyday. But to say that one should be submissive and kind in the face of > such behaviour is inappropriate, IMHO. > 10. I also think that it is also wrong to entirely put the onus on the blind > person in this way. The employer is also required to create a supportive > environment and the relationship must be one founded on mutual respect. To > only find fault with the blind person's behaviour while not calling the > senior out at all is wrong, in my view. > 11. I don't use KNFB reader and doubt it would help in reallife work > situations with huge time pressures. > 12. As I mentioned earlier, I have no hard feelings against this person. I > am only flagging an issue that I am confident many disabled people face in > the workplace. > > Best, > Rahul > > Sent from my iPhone > >> On Jan 6, 2018, at 12:51 PM, avinash shahi <shahi88avin...@gmail.com> >> wrote: >> >> Rahul, we don't know about your company and to what extent they >> provide you reasonable accommodation. The narrative you've shared with >> us sounds an ego clash. And he won it. You said he apologized and >> you've no qualms and he helped you also. Isn't it? Why would any >> scenior come to any junior's desk to cull out a particular document? >> And if he/she does it, what's wrong if he/she asks you "how can I help >> you"? And the argument that mobility due to disability mandates >> him/her to visit your desk is self-defeating. You're not on wheelchair >> afterall which brings humungous mobility challenges indoor as well as >> outdoor. In India, We blind people many a times ask >> office-boy/security guards to help us find a cab, reach to a eating >> outlet and going to washroom and they help us out of their own >> volition they are often not paid for their magnanimity. It is thus >> expected of us to realize the thin line where reasonable accommodation >> is provided on the part of employer and assistance/help which we seek >> from colleagues is premised upon our behavior at the workplace. >> Good luck >> >>> On 1/5/18, Rahul Bajaj <rahul.bajaj10...@gmail.com> wrote: >>> Hi Everyone, >>> >>> I hope this message finds you well. At my workplace, which is a law >>> firm, I recently confronted a situation which I think I could have >>> dealt with in a more graceful way. >>> >>> One of my superiors, who is not the nicest person to put it mildly, >>> displayed blatant ableism and unacceptable conduct. We had to get a >>> hard copy document notarized for filing purposes. Now, when I asked >>> the office boy to request this superior to come to my desk and help me >>> in picking out the documents that had to be notarized, as the >>> documents were at my desk, he called me and said, his voice dripping >>> with condescension, "Tell me, sir, what can I do for you?" >>> >>> Now, I am generally known to have a calm temperament and strive to be >>> unfailingly polite to everyone. However, his response really rubbed me >>> the wrong way, to put it mildly. Later, when he came to talk to me and >>> sensed by my facial reaction that I was not happy with him, he asked >>> me what the issue was. I told him, admittedly in a very combative and >>> aggressive way, that his behavior was unacceptable. What he was doing >>> for me was only a reasonable accommodation which he was mandated to >>> provide. He was not doing me a favour, and it was wrong for him to >>> think that I was ordering him to do something for him. I said this in >>> a way angry and hurt way, as I don't think it is acceptable for anyone >>> to behave in this fashion. >>> >>> I am wondering, in hindsight, if my response was proportionate to his >>> behavior or if I should have reacted in a more graceful fashion. I >>> know that many disabled people face thousands of silent indignities >>> and don't complain about them, because, well, it can jeopardize their >>> career, they have far more pressing concerns and this is just how the >>> world is. But aren't we bound to call people out for ableism, even if >>> it is uncomfortable? >>> >>> Best, >>> Rahul >>> >>> The list has now migrated to www.accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in >>> >>> You should now post to the id: a...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>> please >>> visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >>> Disclaimer: >>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >>> the >>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >>> >>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>> mails >>> sent through this mailing list.. >>> >> >> >> -- >> Avinash Shahi >> Doctoral student at Centre for Law and Governance JNU >> >> The list has now migrated to www.accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in >> >> You should now post to the id: a...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in >> >> >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> >> Disclaimer: >> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >> the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its >> veracity; >> >> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails >> sent through this mailing list.. > The list has now migrated to www.accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in You should now post to the id: a...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list.. The list has now migrated to www.accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in You should now post to the id: a...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
