Qin Wu via Datatracker <[email protected]> wrote: > I am the assigned IoT Directorate reviewer for this draft. The
Thank you for the review.
We'll be working on edits this week and anticipate getting a new version out
before the I-D deadline.
> follows: 1. Can you distinguish term definitions and abbreviations in
> the terminology section, e.g., VAR is frequent occurred abbreviation,
> it will be nice to introduce abbreviation separately in the terminology
> section 1.1.
https://github.com/anima-wg/brski-cloud/issues/233
> 2. Section 1.2 said: " There are DHCP options that a
> network operator can use to configure devices such as a VoIP phone.
> DHCP options 66, 150 (TFTP/HTTP server names), option 120 (SIP Server),
> or even option 157 (Certificate Provisioning) " Can you add reference
> to new introduced DHCP options?
https://github.com/anima-wg/brski-cloud/issues/234
> 3. Can you add a legend for
> "VR-sign(N)"? Also there are no text in section 2 to explain
> "VR-sign(N)".
https://github.com/anima-wg/brski-cloud/issues/235
> 4. Section 5 said: "In the event of a merger between two companies,
> then the mechanism that is described in section 7.2 MAY be
> applicable. " The mechanism in section 7.2 May be applicable for
> what??, It seems not complete.
https://github.com/anima-wg/brski-cloud/issues/236
> 5. Section 7.1 said: " The Provisional TLS connection does not do
> [RFC9525], Section 6.3 DNS-ID verification at the beginning of the
> connection, so a forced redirection to a captive portal system will not
> be detected. " Are you saying Provisional TLS Connection does not do
> DNS-ID Verification, if yes, suggest to move "[RFC9525] Section 6.3"
> after DNS-ID verification.
https://github.com/anima-wg/brski-cloud/issues/238
> 6. Section 7.1 said: " It is RECOMMENDED therefore that the Pledge look
> for [RFC8910] attributes in DHCP, and if present, use the [RFC8908] API
> to learn if it is captive. " NEW TEXT: " It is RECOMMENDED therefore
> that the Pledge look for Captive-Portal Identification attributes
> [RFC8910] in DHCP, and if present, use the Captive-Portal API [RFC8908]
> to learn if it is captive. "
https://github.com/anima-wg/brski-cloud/issues/237
--
Michael Richardson <[email protected]> . o O ( IPv6 IøT consulting )
Sandelman Software Works Inc, Ottawa and Worldwide
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