- Make racing car noises when anyone gets on or off. - Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
- Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" - Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. - Sell Girl Scout cookies. - On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. - Shave. - Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" - Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. - Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. - When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. - Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!" - Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. - One word: Flatulence! - On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. - Do Tai Chi exercises. - Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and announce: "I've got new socks on!" - When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!" - Give religious tracts to each passenger. - Meow occassionally. - Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. - Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "0ops!" - Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. - Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons. - Holler "Chocks away!" whenever the elevator descends. - Walk on with a box that says "human head" on the side. - Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. - If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holier "Bad touch!" - Leave a box between the doors. - Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. - Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it. - Start a sing-along. - When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?" - Play the harmonica. - Shadow box. - Say "Ding!" at each floor. - Lean against the button panel. - Say " wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. - Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. - Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to other passengers that this is your "personal space." - Bring a chair along. - Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muhmouf?" - Blow spit bubbles. - Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. - Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." - Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. - Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. - Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers. - Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger." - Scatter powertools around your feet and scream into a radio, "I'M NOT FINISHED YET! THE CABLE ONLY HAS ONE SCREW!!!" Regards.Gidd _______________________________________________________________________________ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org ARSlist:"Where the Answers Are"
