Re: I am affronted by the presence of god
You can even go to church, you can develop a one on one relationship with god, but unless you give your life over to him, it's all for nothing.
I have had such experiences as what you might call supernatural. messing around with energy that exists in the universe. Whether you call it reiki or some other name, I know that this energy exists and can be manipulated, but I also know that I am not disciplined enough to do it consistently. Not only that, but bad things often happen when I try, and I've therefore decided not to continue. I'll provide some examples.
It's somewhere between late summer and early autumn in 2016. I'm at my grandma's house, but I'm not living there yet. I'm laying in the middle of the floor, the top half of me in the dining room, the bottom half in the living room. Above my torso is the doorway. Now, even though my vision has deteriorated, my ability to conjure mental images has not. If I know what something looks like, I will be able to imagine it. That's what I did, I created a mental image of the arch over me. Then I concentrated on two things: Ropes hanging down from the arch and pulling me upward, and a platform under me pushing me up.
At the moment when the thoughts I was cultivating reached their peak, two things happened in sequence. I felt an incredibly powerful jerk, even though my body was not moving. Then the mental image of the arch got super super sharp, then collapsed. It was so real that I had to look around to make sure it was only in my mind.
Another time, I would say probably close to a year later when my grandpa was in the hospital, I decided to try to heal him remotely. If you know about these things, you know that time and space are of no consequence when you're working with energy. I used a mantra that someone had given me, and I put my concentration into finding him, latching onto him, then collecting the energy into myself and finally, channeling it through me into him. It did not work until it did. I felt the connection, and then I felt myself being drained through it. I felt like my essence was being drained away, and then the fear kicked in. I knew that if I couldn't break the connection, I would die. Now, I don't get genuinely scared over much, but that time, I was. It was hard to push it aside and try to break the connection, but somehow, I managed.
I also had a very sharp, sudden, flash of insight about him. When I went to see him, he wasn't doing well. His heart was in a bad rhythm and they were trying to correct it using various medications, and it wasn't working. They told us that their only option was to page cardiology and have them come down and use a defibrillator on him, but doing so at his age carried a significant risk that his heart would not restart. My brother and I walked outside for a minute, and I was worried that I'd go in there and he'd die right in front of me. But, in a sudden flash, I knew that he would be OK. When we went back inside, they had been successful at returning his heart to it's proper rhythm, and it was slowing down to a normal rate.
I don't attribute these experiences to a god, though I would consider them to be spiritual. There are a few others I could mention, but I think this will suffice. I am aware of the nature of things like this, and as such, I am not asking anyone to believe me when I relate these things. Looking at them scientifically, there is not enough evidence to even come close to explaining how, why, or even if they happened. If these experiences resonate with you on some level, great, but if not, that's fine too.
One last thing, Brad, would you please not use my topic as another attention grab? For the love of sanity, if you want to leave this place, go on and do it already. I'm getting tired of this, and I think a lot of other people are as well.
-- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
