Re: I am affronted by the presence of god
I wonder if I ever properly explained the point of this thread. I dont' really feel like rereading my first post, but it was basically me trying to say that if there is a god, he does some really fucked up shit, so don't come to me saying it's a test, or it wil strengthen me or any such nonsense like that, because it's bullshit.
If heaven is a paradise where you have no worries, why must some people go through needless pain to get there? At first, she wasn't having any, and we thought that maybe the dementia was somehow masking it, but she is now experiencing a lot of pain and it sucks. We have meds to give her but they don't really eliminate it entirely, they just sort of fuck her up to the point where she just zonks out.
It feels weird wishing someone would please hurry up and die, but that's where I'm at, if only because that's the only way to fix this. And in many ways, I feel like I've already lost her. Even when she was ambulatory and relatively well, her dementia had mutated her personality. She hasn't been the grandma I grew up with for many years.
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