On Sun Jun 25 2017 Angel de Vicente wrote:
> ,----
> | (require 'bbdb)
> | (bbdb-initialize 'gnus 'message)
> | (bbdb-mua-auto-update-init 'gnus 'message)
> | (setq bbdb-mua-update-interactive-p '(query . create)
> |       bbdb-update-records-p 'query
> |       bbdb-mua-auto-update-p 'query)
> | (setq bbdb-file "~/.bbdb"
> |       bbdb-mua-pop-up-window-size 3
> |       bbdb-layout 'one-line
> |       bbdb-pop-up-window-size 5
> |       bbdb-complete-mail-allow-cycling t)
> | (add-hook 'bbdb-notice-mail-hook 'bbdb-auto-notes)
> | 
> | ; From a message on 19 Jun 2017 by Wes Hardaker in bbdb-info
> | ; to solve an issue with ivy + bbdb
> | ;(otherwise we can try with just C-M-j (bound to ivy-immediate-done)
> | 
> | (defadvice bbdb-read-string (before bbdb-read-string-no-ivy activate)
> |   (ivy-mode 0))
> | (defadvice bbdb-read-string (after bbdb-read-string-yes-ivy activate)
> |   (ivy-mode 1))
> `----
> 
> Not perfect, but quite close to what I wanted. Now when I'm reading
> mails from inside Gnus, the BBDB buffer shows the record for the sender
> and it is updated automatically when I move from one message to another,
> and it asks me whether I want to add a new record when it finds one that
> is not in the database (if I don't want to add that person, it can be a
> bit annoying, because it will ask me everytime I see a mail from that
> person, not remembering I said 'no' already to that mail).
> 
> To make it perfect I would prefer to:
> * if the sender is not in the database, get an empty BBDB buffer
> * to be able to create (not automatically, but issuing a command, so I
>   can decide when/if to add it to the database) a new record with the
>   info from the sender (similar to the old BBDB ":" behaviour).

You have enabled both the "manual update" of BBDB via the line

  (bbdb-initialize 'gnus 'message) 

as well as "auto-update" of BBDB via

  (bbdb-mua-auto-update-init 'gnus 'message)

and both run in the "query" mode.  But it seems that the auto-update
is too aggressive for you, because it is performed immediately for
*every* message you are reading.  So you probably did not even
notice that you would get the less aggresive manual update by
hitting ":" for those messages, where you want to query or update
BBDB in a more selective manor.

So you may want to disable the auto-update by deleting the line

  (bbdb-mua-auto-update-init 'gnus 'message)

Often, having both the manual and the auto-update enabled may make
sense only if the auto-update is less aggressive, using, e.g., the
"search" mode.  Then you can run a more aggressive mode like "query"
manually by hitting ":".

Notes: 

- BBDB would need to maintain a 2nd database of email addresses or
  names that should not go into BBDB in order to ask you only once
  whether you want to put an address into BBDB.

- If BBDB doesn't know anything about the senders or recipients,
  I do not see a need to pop up an empty buffer.  This is also similar
  to all other BBDB search commands that will not pop up a BBDB buffer
  if the search did not match any records.  (I believe BBDB 2 behaved
  the same, though I am not sure.

  Of course, you can also run BBDB in a dedicated window that will
  never be taken over by anything else.  And / or run the function
  bbdb-undisplay-records (not a command)) to get an empty BBDB
  buffer.

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