- Matt Small
----- Original Message -----
From: Marlon Moyer
To: CF-Community
Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 4:44 PM
Subject: Re: distinctions between xmas and chanukah
Or just realize "there is no spoon"
Matthew Small wrote:
> It's never too late to start practicing. It will probably bring you
> some inner peace. You should try your native faith or that of your
> wife and children. Good luck.
>
> - Matt Small
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Charlie Griefer
> To: CF-Community
> Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 4:00 PM
> Subject: Re: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
>
> Heya Ben:
>
> Actually that was said with a hint of sarcasm (what? you couldn't
> hear it?) : )
>
> Unfortunately, that's the way it was in my house. We just weren't
> very religious...and it was fairly early on that Chanukah
> 'degenerated' into a simple gift exchange with no ceremony attached to
> it...and ultimately into nothing at all.
>
> Today, I consider myself a non-practicing Jew. I'm married to a
> wonderful Lutheran woman, and we are raising our children
> Lutheran. My wife's religion was simply more important to her than
> mine was to me, due to the way each of us was brought up. To be
> honest, it's very depressing not having a religion to believe in. I
> don't mind at all that my daughter (and whatever children follow) are
> going to be raised Lutheran. I wouldn't have cared if I had fallen in
> love and married a Catholic or an Episcopalean or for that matter... a
> Jew. All that mattered (and matters) to me is that whatever religion
> it ended up being...that they practiced it. I don't necessarily care
> what they believe...but I want them to believe in *something*.
>
> Trust me, I envy you for taking pleasure in the simple act of
> lighting the candles and saying the prayers (regardless of whether or
> not gifts were involved). I envy your children for having had those
> principles instilled in them (and commend you for doing so). I'm
> going to try and do the same for my children. Wish me luck : )
>
> Charlie
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Ben Braver
> To: CF-Community
> Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 12:38 PM
> Subject: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
>
> Oh, Charlie, do I ever disagree with you on this:
>
> "No reason to light the menorah and say a prayer if there were no
> presents to open", you say?
>
> *NOT*
>
> My young-adult kids even asked a couple of years ago that I not go
> overboard trying to fill up 8 days with presents.
>
> We say the blessings and light the menorah whether we have
> presents or not. I love to sit and watch the candles. Yes, sometimes
> we skip a night due to some of the schedule conflicts this time of
> year, but not because there are no gifts for that night...
>
> YMMV.
>
> -Ben
>
> > my take on #10...
> >
> > kids will always get their xmas presents...
> > but on any given night of Chanukah, a parent reserves the right to
> > withhold presents (or at least to threaten to do so).
> >
> > Actually I was relatively young when my parents started the
> > "bargaining process". As the presents I wanted became more and
> more
> > expensive, I was told, "OK...but if you want <name of more
> expensive
> > present here>, you can only get 5 gifts instead of 8".
> >
> > Eventually one gift got exchanged, the menorah gathered dust (no
> > reason to light the menorah and say a prayer if there were no
> presents
> > to open), and we all just grew up and grew jaded : )
> >
> > ah, youth.
> >
>
> > ----- Original Message -----
>
> > From: Ben Braver
>
> > To: CF-Community
>
> > Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 10:14 AM
>
> > Subject: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
> >
> >
>
> > Oy, Charlie, ROFLMAO bubbela !!
>
> > Vay is meer, that was FUNNY!
>
> > But I don't get #10 ??
>
> > re: #12, Joseph preceded the Xmas carol saying
>
> > "Have yourself a Mary little Christmas"
>
> > <hohoho>
>
> > -Ben
> >
>
> > >HOLIDAY DISTINCTIONS
>
> > >
>
> > >1. Christmas is one day, same day every year: December 25. Jews
> also
> > love
>
> > >December 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go to movies and
> > out for
>
> > >Chinese food, and Israeli dancing. Chanukah is 8 days. It
> starts the
> > evening
>
> > >of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that falls. No one is ever
> sure. Jews
> > never
>
> > >know until a non-Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts,
> forcing us
> > to
>
> > >consult a calendar so we don't look like idiots. We all have the
> > same
>
> > >calendar, provided free with a donation from either the World
> Jewish
>
> > >Congress, the kosher butcher, or the local Sinai Memorial Chapel
> > (especially
>
> > >in Florida) or other Jewish funeral home.
>
> > >
>
> > >2. Christmas is a major holiday. Chanukah is a minor holiday
> with the
> > same
>
> > >theme as most Jewish holidays. They tried to kill us, we survived,
> > let's
>
> > >eat.
>
> > >
>
> > >3. Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume,
> > stereos...
>
> > >Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks, or the
> > collected works
>
> > >of the Rambam, which looks impressive on the bookshelf.
>
> > >
>
> > >4. There is only one way to spell Christmas. No one can decide
> how to
> > spell
>
> > >Chanukah, Chanukah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah, Hannukah.
>
> > >
>
> > >5. Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and
> boyfriends.
> > Their
>
> > >partners expect special gifts. Jewish men are relieved of that
> burden.
> > No
>
> > >one expects a diamond ring on Chanukah.
>
> > >
>
> > >6. Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are used for
> > Chanukah.
>
> > >Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to feel
> > good
>
> > >about not contributing to the energy crisis.
>
> > >
>
> > >7. Christmas carols are beautiful. Silent Night, Come All Ye
> Faithful....
> >
>
> > >Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or having a party
> > and
>
> > >dancing the horah. Of course, we are secretly pleased that many of
> > the
>
> > >beautiful carols were composed and written by our tribal brethren.
> > And don't
>
> > >Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully?
>
> > >
>
> > >8. A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet
> smell
> > of
>
> > >cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered around in
> festive
> > moods.
>
> > >A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil, potatoes, and onions.
> > The home,
>
> > >as always, is full of loud people all talking at once.
>
> > >
>
> > >9. Women have fun baking Christmas cookies. Women burn their
> eyes and
> > cut
>
> > >their hands grating potatoes and onions for latkas on Chanukah.
> > Another
>
> > >reminder of our suffering through the ages.
>
> > >
>
> > >10. Parents deliver to their children during Christmas. Jewish
> > parents have
>
> > >no qualms about withholding a gift on any of the eight nights.
>
> > >
>
> > >11. The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce
> names
> > such as
>
> > >Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. The players in the Chanukah story are
> > Antiochus,
>
> > >Judah Maccabee, and Matta whatever. No one can spell it or
> pronounce
> > it. On
>
> > >the plus side, we can tell our friends anything and they
> believe we
> > are
>
> > >wonderfully versed in our history.
>
> > >
>
> > >12. Many Christians believe in the virgin birth. Jews think,
> "Joseph,
> >
>
> > >Bubela, snap out of it. Your woman is pregnant, you didn't
> sleep with
> > her,
>
> > >and now you want to blame G-d. Here's the number of my shrink."
>
> > >
>
> > >13. In recent years, Christmas has become more and more
> > commercialized. The
>
> > >same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a minor
> holiday. It
> > makes
>
> > >sense. How could we market a major holiday such as Yom Kippur?
> Forget
> > about
>
> > >celebrating. Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve
> yourself for
> > 27
>
> > >hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your chest,
> confess
> > your
>
> > >sins, a guaranteed good time for you and your family. Tickets a
> mere
> > $200
>
> > >per person.
>
> > >
>
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