I'd welcome being friends - just to stay in contact, not really to hang out. Be accessible, and honest about your feelings. But don't impose. Let her have her space. I'd start dating, not to make her jealous, but rather let her know without representing any feelings of resentment or anger - that SHE made the choice.
She probably has some growing up to do. She will most likely feel sad when you start dating, and life is an open book - so who knows when that chapter will open up again.
Someone once told me something about rejection and how that binds love. Moving on amicably is kind of a little rejection.
I wouldn't mind hearing from the romantics that think you should fight for her love. Which might be the best option if she's hooked up with someone else.
Eric
----- Original Message -----
From: dana tierney
To: CF-Community
Sent: Monday, January 26, 2004 4:32 PM
Subject: Re:dating/relationship question... (LONG)
1)three dates in three days is a lot. Might be it.
2)maybe she met someone else on vacation? Also might be it.
If you really like the girl tell her so and agree to be friends and see what happens is my advice. I would make it clear that you hope to be more some day though.
Dana
>When she says that she wants to '"be friends," does that mean that there is
>no more hope? Here is what happened.
>
>I was going out with the wonderful lady for about a month and a half. After
>each date, we could tell that we were into each other. Except for the first
>date, every date ending in a long kisses good bye. When we were together, I
>could tell she was enjoying herself. During the month and a half, she went
>away on vacation for a week and called me back the day she came home. So,
>it looked like she was interested.
>
>Last weekend, we had three dates back, to back, to back. A cooked her
>dinner at home and we watched DVDs, second was a fire at the beach, and the
>third was a comedy show and a relaxing evening in a hot tub. But, after
>that last date, there was no long kissing session after the date, just a
>peck on the lips. When I called her two days later I asked her out to
>dinner on Thursday, and said "call me later and if I fell like it, maybe."
>With that and the peck on the lips, I though something was wrong. Well, I
>called her Thursday and asked her out and she said yes. She also said that
>she had something to tell me.
>
>After dinner, she told me that she spent the last few days thinking about
>us and looking deep inside of her to find the chemistry, but there was none
>there. She wanted to find it. She told me that I was a very nice guy, great
>looking, and that nobody has ever treated her like a princess before, which
>I did. She almost started to cry and asked me to give her a call so we can
>hang out again, because she would love that. And she then said that she
>wanted to "Be Friends." She said that she is still a wild person and likes
>to be a little immature.
>
>I know it was only a month and a half, but I really, really liked her. I
>could tell that the chemistry was there, but it seemed like it died off. It
>was weird that at first she was into me, then not longer. I was beginning
>to think that I may have been too romantic and did too much, too soon
>.Cooking dinner at her place, fires, strawberries with whip cream, hot tub
>with music and candles, etc. (or another guy).
>
>So, did I move too fast? I think so. She already knows what I can do for
>her, romantically and affectionately, maybe I just needed to go slower and
>have more fun times first.
>
>I want to give it time. Just avoid contact with her for now and she what
>happens. See is she calls or not. Do not want to make it sound like I am
>desperate. I would like to be friends, on my level, and maybe I can
>re-create the spark by doing something that she likes to do for fun. It
>sounds like we wanted more fun and wild times. Give it a month and
>hopefully we end up going out on another "date", having fun, and I can
>maybe re-light that spark. After 8 years of looking and bad experiences
>with exs, though she was the one.
>
>On the other hand, I am not going to sit here and wait. Have to going
>fishing again...
>
>Yes.. for the first time, I thought I was in love... SUCKS!
[Todays Threads] [This Message] [Subscription] [Fast Unsubscribe] [User Settings]
