The same way you console someone who has lost someone before.  Be there, hug
them, let them know its okay to get angry, okay to cry.  Don't take the
anger or the tears personally, understand they need to go through the stages
of mourning.  Let them know how much you love them. Be there not only
through the funeral, but after, since the after part can be one of
overwhelming loneliness.  After the family goes its separate ways can be the
hardest.


Know that its going to take years to let go of all the grief and be
supportive, especially around holidays and around the loved one's
anniversary of their death.  Consider changing the paradigm of holidays this
year, especially if grandma was an important part.  Go somewhere else,


My ex-father in law died in September, none of us felt like doing the family
thing for Thanksgiving that year so we went to Disneyland, had dinner at the
restaurant at the hotel (Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings), We
missed him, but also didn't have that raw grief of someone is missing from
the family dinner table.  It might sound trite, but it helped all of us get
through that holiday.

  _____  

How do you console a spouse who has never lost a family member before?  My
wife's grandmother just passed away and I don't know what to say or do to
help her.

Hatton
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