I am so sorry that you are going through such a hard time. I know, I was
lucky, I married a man whom I loved and who was meant to be my life
companion, we had been married for 45 years when he died. So, I never had to
go
through anything like you have experienced but I have had friends who have.
My advise to you is the same as my advise was to them. First of all, love
and respect yourself, be proud of who you are and what you are. No man, no
one, is worth killing yourself over. If you have proper self respect, you
don't want to be with a man who no longer wants to be with you, Move on
with your life. Start by looking at what type of help is available in your
community for a woman with disabilities and no income. Call, make
appointments, get some help. The people at your church or a church may be able
to
provide information on social services available. Then meet with your mother
and step father, tell them you need their moral support as well as their
financial support (if they had to pay the bills even before your husband
left, he wasn't even a good supporter). Find something that you enjoy and can
afford to do and add it to your routine, even if it's just walking the dogs
daily. Give yourself something to look forward to each day. Bask in the
love of your Chihuahuas, who will glory in seeing you happy once again.
And if you are a believer, pray for help and the strength you will need to
change your life. A life where you come first. Good luck.
Gloria
