lol Juan very funny.... ""Juan Blanco"" a icrit dans le message de news: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > Team, > I got this from a friend but I not sure if you have seen this or not but > only someone pursuing the CCIE would laugh at it!! > In the course of my day-to-day work, people ask me what is a CCIE? I thought > about this for some time. I wrote some notes. And this is what I came up > with: > I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling 8 foot computer racks and charming > magnetic security cardswipes. I have been known to remodel SME networks on > my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of capital > deployment, reliability and performance. I translate technobabble for > Management, I write award-winning technical presentations and deliver them > better than an American president announcing tax cuts. > I can recite complete chapters of the Cisco Documentation CD, backwards and, > with little effort and at the same time, perform decimal to binary > conversion for very large numbers. > I woo women with my sensuous and godlike MIDI playing on a notebook. I can > pilot computer trolleys up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I can > rack Cisco gear faster than Arnold Schwarznegger can bench press. I am an > expert in network diagramming tools, a veteran in web surfing, and know the > Cisco Web Site better than I know my own family. > Just to keep it interesting, I occasionally tread water for three days while > programming Cisco practice labs. I manage time efficiently and can complete > a timesheet every week. In addition, I know the part number for every Cisco > router cable. > Using only a Chinese AC power cord and a large glass of water, I once > single-handedly rebuilt the network core of major co-location facility after > the roof fell in. I used to play games, but now it's serious. I am the > subject of numerous urban myths and I am the creator of a few as well. When > I'm bored, I test fiber optic cable, calculate power loss sums on UTP and > the minimum refraction index for 50 micron multimode fiber. I mean, what IS > the point of it ? > I understand that DLSW and Source Route Translational Bridging actually has > a reason for existence. It's not just IBM playing a practical joke. Really. > I enjoy urban guerilla activities. I can build a 802.11b parabolic dish > antennae using surplus antennae from defunct satellite companies and a juice > can. It has better performance than off the shelf products. I think that > having a wind generator and solar array as power backup for my practice lab > is not only responsible preparation, it's environmentally friendly too. On > Wednesdays, after work, I repair old monitors free of charge for my local > charity. > I know that canonical to non-canonical conversion is not about religion, > it's about "ART." > Microsoft geeks worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening > wear, which I don't understand -- it was supposed to be funny. I don't > perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller > number ten and have won the cash jackpot. > I can speak IPX NLSP, AppleTalk, ATM PVC, QoS, and BGP to name a few, and > redistribute routes at will, with filtering, using non contiguous masks. I > install IPV6 on customer sites whenever I can, just so I can play with it. > Same for OSPF NSSA. Children trust me. > I can hurl squishy giveaway tradeshow toys at sales personnel with stunning > accuracy, and ensure that the dweeb from administration gets the blame. I > have charisma beyond normal mortals; if I didn't the boss would have sent > the other guy to this exam. > I once read Cisco Quality of Service, Caslow Bridges and Routers 2nd Ed, and > Jeff Doyles' Routing TCP/IP Vol2 in one day, and still had time to do > practice on a Frame Relay multipoint network, using OSPF and IGRP, split > horizon, route maps and ISDN. I know the exact location of every food item > in the supermarket and I use a link state protocol to calculate the shortest > path to get there. > I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. It was kind of fun > having them follow me around. I know that security and privacy is a > phantasm-like myth created by "security companies" to extract money from IT > Managers who can't implement a decent security policy. But it's great fun to > play with. > I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. I know exactly how > much coffee my body will take to sustain me at peak function. While on > vacation, I successfully negotiated with the hotel to fix their network in > return for free accommodation. The laws of society do not apply to me. > I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On > weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact tech stock day > trading. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it > down. > I can originate default routes, conditionally, after redistributing from a > classful distance vector protocol. I have made extraordinary four course > meals using my Cisco 7500 lab router as a stove (after all its runs all the > time anyway). > I breed prizewinning idioms. Fox Mulder knows my phone number. I have spoken > with Elvis. > > Juan Blanco
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