David, 
Well said. I am learning late in life that many wives don't appreciate when a 
sailboat heels or as mine says, ". . . don't like when it leans". 
And what I find challenging and fun about sailing like short tacking through a 
narrow channel or sailing hard on the wind close hauled, causes my wife anxiety 
or grief. Just when the wind starts getting good, she usually asks to go 
somewhere for a swim. 

I recently went sailing w a friend with the same problem. His wife is very 
similar to mine. We've all been friends since before we married over twenty 
five years ago. He wanted to show off his new boat and his wonderful country of 
Holland. His plan; the guys went sailing for 10 days in Holland while the wives 
went touring by car through France. I noticed most sailboat crews were guys, 
many skippers were alone, a very few white haired couples and the same number 
of twenty-ish couples. My friend and I had a great time sailing whenever 
possible and remarked several times when the boat was making 8 to 9 knots and 
heeled to 25 degrees, and we were having fun, "The girls would hate this." One 
leg on the North Sea, we sailed w just the 110% downwind in 27 knots wind 
making 9 knots boatspeed. On the return, we had 18 to 20 knots on the nose. 
Sailing would have taken longer, causing us to miss getting a slip, so we 
motorsailed w a reefed main making 8.3 knots. The main steadied the boat so she 
maintained momentum and sliced better through the waves. I remember playing w 
the vang to get a better shape to the top of the sail, because the boat had no 
traveller. The girls would have hated it. 

So, I'm looking for suggestions to keep both the boat and the wife, happy. 


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