--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "authfriend" <jst...@...> wrote: > > > > snip[ > > > > > > Isn't it convenient how this psychobabble excuses > > > your behavior? > > > > You made up the shame spin on me not arguing with people > > who thought you were out of line for giving me shit when > > I came here. The tribe spoke and you got voted off. > > Deal with it. > > We could go back and look at that, Curtis, if you like. > > What actually happened
You are expressing your POV which differs from mine. It is very revealing that you would think of it as what "actually" happened. was that I was trying to *avoid* > a hassle with you, told you to lay off, and you went > right ahead anyway. What exactly do you think "laying" off might mean in a public board? You warned me that you couldn't control your vitriol towards me and I didn't care if you went off. And as predicted, you did. The group didn't dig it and said so. Then you tried to pin it all on me, which failed since everyone could read all the posts and decide for themselves. I've never understood why you took such offense to me telling you that I used to get pissed off at you and it made me write more back in the ALT Med era. I remember that as a key point in the breaking of our initial rapport. Folks jumped on me for continuing > to try to provoke you when in fact it was just the > opposite. I wrote nothing provocative. You went off all on your own Judy. As my record of posting since has validated, I didn't come to cause trouble with you. Your little set up "warning" was an attempt to shift the blame for your own choice of being unpleasant to me. You knew that, and you let me take what you > knew was a bad rap. You got the exact rap you deserved. I had no special knowledge any other readers didn't have. The group didn't buy your story and you blamed me. Not for what I "did" but for what I "didn't do" that you somehow felt justified in expecting me to do. You expected me to bail you out of your own self-created mess. You are still trying this routine in blaming me for NOT getting involved in your Barry deal as if it is a ethical failing to not get involved. > > I just went back and reviewed what happened--it was > in early May 2006--to make sure I was describing it > accurately. You might want to do the same. > > No, come to think of it, I'm sure you won't want to. I know what happened, we just don't see it the same way. snip > You are > > playing up your victim hood, it is a constant theme. > > No, Curtis, it's about *ethics*, not victimhood. It is about your fixation that I don't share. Trying to sell it as a noble mission wont get much traction from me. > > > > Of course, we don't ever see Barry (or you) > > > complaining about being victimized. > > > > > > <horselaugh> > > > > Because that is not my filter. I don't allow myself to > > be victimized. > > Oh, please, Curtis. Your whole "mommy/daddy" riff > was a whine about how you were being victimized by > my quoting you in a post to Barry. That you put a > humorous spin on it doesn't change what you were > communicating. You missed my point. By expressing that it made me feel icky to have my points used as weapons in your game I was rejecting the role of victim. Having fun writing a humorous reaction was how I dealt with my feelings and it worked. But I am beginning to come around to the idea that my victim theory my not be completely fair. Perhaps your responses are how you avoid being a victim just as it is for me. So I am reconsidering this charge. But you do portray yourself the victim of Barry's "bad behavior" frequently so I am still not sure. > > I could dig up plenty of other instances of your > complaining about how you're being treated. And you > just got done complaining about Nabby calling you > an idiot, remember? I didn't complain about Nabby's typically mean-spirited remark. I used it as a counter example to your claim that you would jump in if people said unfair things to me. You made the claim to make it seem reasonable that you should judge me negatively for NOT jumping into your feud fixation. As if this is everyone's moral duty here. I object to that expectation and ensuing judgment. We all pick our battles. I am not even saying that you should stop the Barry thing, you enjoy it so it is none of my business. But I choose to stay out of it and feel weird if what I write gets used in the battle. By expressing it in humor I feel better without believing it will change your behavior. If anything it will probably make you want to do it more to bother both Barry and me in one stroke. snip > > > > You're quite right, Curtis, you aren't at your best > > > when you're under fire. > > > > I don't enjoy your shame vibe. > > So it's perfectly OK for you to send a shame vibe my > way by suggesting I was making you feel bad by > quoting you in a post to Barry, and by pinning the > "grudge" and "victimhood" labels on me, but it's not > OK for me to point out what you're doing, right? Everything is OK here. That is the fun of a public forum. But I don't shame people for NOT acting according to my expectation here. You do. I find your self-serving moral imperative to be annoying and overly judgmental. I am judging you for what you do here which I consider fair game. And yes I do believe you still hold a grudge that goes back to my first posts. You pretty much confirmed that in this post. snip > > With or > > without horselaughs you are portraying yourself as a > > victim and I'm not buying it. It has become part of > > your identity now and challenging it meets with > > survival level push-back. > > There's a difference, Curtis, between feeling that > one is a victim and portraying someone else as a > (would-be) victimizer. "Victimhood" is most definitely > *not* part of my identity; I have way too much self- > esteem for that. You're damn right I'm going to push > back at the accusation and point out that it's > designed to relieve you of any responsibility for your > behavior. Or more accurately, my lack of joining your shame campaign against Barry. This is what bothered you. It was a bit slippery to try to shift it into a "behavior." It sets me up since I am unlikely to see things your way and act according to your expectation. And you get offended, not from what I do, but for what I fail to do. Can you see why such an expectation is unreasonable here? >
