Turq,
As always, great to read your post. More below.
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From: turquoiseb <no_re...@yahoogroups.com>
To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Saturday, September 10, 2011 5:53:18 AM
Subject: [FairfieldLife] The FFL Asylum [was Re: Blissy vs. Happy]
Bob, I was busy on other projects when your first post in this laudable
series appeared, and thus wasn't able to comment. I shall belatedly do
so, if for no other reason than to applaud your attempt to get people to
focus on you by writing something creative. As opposed to the other
approaches, you understand -- whining, pleading, insults, ad hominem,
demonization, etc. -- all of which leave me kinda cold. Plus, you
deserve commendation for sneaking past Nurse Ratched and announcing your
ascendency to a higher state of consciousness, despite her rules.
***It's interesting you mentioned our nurse who oddly enough
Mel nicknamed Nurse Ratched. She's the type of woman whose many gifts make it
more than easy to fantasize about her with her clothes off, in any number of
colors----paint spray can in hand. Mel and I have a wager on the color of her
Victoria Secrets. I've
gone with black---no he didn't take red----and he doubled down on white.
Anti-Semite that he is, old Mel is crafty; white on white fits the sadistic
streak we've noticed in her insisting I wear a pink Johnny shirt with my butt
showing. She was cheeky enough to ask me; "How do you like being covered
in pink?" Of course this doesn't limit my imagining her in her white
Victoria Secrets dancing to a Fosse tune.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UN68ujZdTE
I share your fears whether the planet is ready for another realized,
realized being at this point. That might overclock the cosmic CPU that
runs the Maharishi Effect, and propel too many slackers into the Age Of
Everything The Way We Want It To Be too quickly. Better to let the Laws
Of Nature handle the timing of such important phase transitions.
***Couldn't agree more. With my recent exchanges with some of
my fellow not realized, realized travelers I realized that the realization that
I'm not realized, realized does not preclude the witnessing and execution of a
whole range of emotions that could still end life as we know it. Imagine if
one or more of my fellow
travelers gone their hands on the presidents briefcase or heaven forbid the
Agni option in the great nation of India. With the added feature of being able
to witness their rage and
trepidation there’s no telling how far things could get out of hand.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLPnnPHkIuc&feature=related
I also humbly apologize if acting out my "People Of Color" rap got you
into hot water with the wife, and led to your incarceration. I really
meant to add a caveat saying "Don't try this at home...at least not
without obtaining prior written consent to paint a woman a different
color." I've gone the "no prior consent" route myself, and as a result
have found myself and my spray cans running down an alley, pursued by
police. Not a happy situation. Better to be up front about it, and bring
it up first in casual conversation over a glass of wine in a picturesque
sidewalk cafe, a la, "You remind me so much of the Hindu goddess Lakshmi
that I wonder if you'd consider letting me paint you blue." That line
has worked for me more often than you'd imagine.
***The "Don't try this at home..." caution would have been a big
help, but I don't blame you as much as I might blame Emptybill for introducing
me to the "mantras that really work". I figure he owes me when day
pass day comes.
Finally, I really appreciate you reserving me a Netflix-enabled bed in
the asylum. I look forward to watching "X" over and over, especially
every time Nurse Ratched comes around with my meds. She gets SO angry
when she sees women more slim and more attractive than herself, and Viva
Bianca is pretty much the queen of both. The films in this
basket-weaving exercise may be preordained by Netflix, but the use I put
them to is my own weaving. Heh heh.
***I have a feeling you and Nurse Ratched are going to get
along just fine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnUG_8jQGvY
The only questions I have about your enlightened vision of the FFL
Asylum are: 1) there seems to be no bed reserved for Curtis; I can only
imagine that he would spice up the group therapy sessions big-time, and
2) you haven't mentioned who picks up the tab at the bar. As you can
imagine (having written all of this and still only halfway through a
single Westmalle Tripel), the eventual size of the bar bill is of
interest to me, and to my health insurance provider.
***I think previous FFL posts they found in my Yahoo account
determined the sleeping arrangements. Turns out they are considering inviting
Curtis as a guest lecturer. I'm actually a little concerned they might figure
out Curtis is more like us than they think and he has an inner child guru
wanting to break out and party.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYtDKysEnjA&feature=related
Not to worry about the bar tab. The wife does not realize
(she's looking for straight up realization) my management consulting agreement
with her firm covers bar bills no matter how big they get.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlrqaAjBwS4
Another thing I'm curious about, given your fondness for movies and good
TV series, is who you'd cast in the movie of "The FFL Asylum." Who would
play you? Who would play Robin? And most important -- because, after
all, none of us would have been committed here if we weren't suffering
from terminal narcissism -- who would play me? I'm still drawn to Kevin
Spacey, if he's available and willing to grow a beard and put on a few
pounds for the role. Physically (even though we all know the physical
doesn't really exist) I resemble the "before" picture of him as Lester
Burnham more than I do the "after" picture. Do they have a gym in the
asylum? Gotta start pumpin' up in case this movie goes large, and people
from People magazine start coming to the asylum to interview me.
***This is easy; Kevin Spacey definitely plays you, Brad Pitt
or George Clooney get Curtis, Emptybill picks who best works for him, but I
suggest Jeff Goldblum, Robin has to be played by Dan Aykroyd or Bill Murray
and I can't imagine
anyone besides Samuel L. Jackson playing me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAsjgWeiIYE
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