--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "authfriend" <jstein@...> wrote:
>
> OK, I do have to intervene at this point to deal with
> some comments made about me.
> 
> --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "curtisdeltablues" <curtisdeltablues@> 
> wrote:
> >
> > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, maskedzebra <no_reply@> wrote:
> > >
> <terasnip>
> > Still, what you insist is the case with Judy, that does seem 
> > interesting to me. Even as your friend Barry insults her in the 
> > bitterest and most scathing (and, I believe prejudiced and
> > unwarranted) ways. Me, if I have a friendship with someone and
> > I notice they are being unfair and hateful—and usually
> > ridiculous—in their behaviour towards someone else (who I hold
> > in very different terms), then I feel forced to say something
> > to my friend [Barry]. 
> > 
> > ME:Hang around a bit and you will see why I feel that it is
> > not so lopsided.  This is an actual feud and neither side is 
> > blameless.
> 
> Curtis has said many times that he doesn't read my
> exchanges with Barry. That's OK, but on that basis
> he is not in a position to remark on the balance of
> blame.

ME: Judy I never claimed never to have read them.  You guys are kind of 
prolific and a bit repetitive.  I have read plenty to evaluate them.  I avoid 
them because they are kind of mean on both sides.  Your choice, but that is not 
interesting to me.

> I don't claim to be "blameless," but I utterly reject
> the notion that blame in the Barry-Judy situation is
> anything but *hugely* lopsided.

ME: And predictibly he feels the opposite I'll bet.  That is the nature of 
feuds.

> Just for one thing, if one were to read my posts that
> comment on Barry's, one would find that a significant
> number of them--I'd guess at least 50 percent--are not
> simply insults; quite a few are not insulting at all.
> Rather, they involve reasoned, noninflammatory analysis
> of points that Barry has made.

ME: And often in demeaning language that is pretty much guarenteed to continue 
the ill will.
> 
> That is never the case with Barry's posts that have
> to do with me.
> 
> There are other lopsided elements as well. I don't
> *make up* stuff about Barry, for instance.
> 
> > R: But you won't do this, Curtis, because of the fragility
> > of his psyche—*in relation to yourself*. He approves of, he
> > depends upon, yourself. Were you to speak directly and
> > candidly to him, you would shatter him. This is the only
> > reason you don't speak up on Judy's behalf.
> > 
> > ME: No its not.  It is because Judy made her own bed with
> > him.  There were other choices.
> 
> Sure. I could have ignored him completely, I could have
> spoken sweetly to him when he attacked me, were I a saint.
> But I don't pretend to be a saint.
> 
> Curtis doesn't stand up for the people Barry attacks
> because if he did, Barry would put Curtis on his shit
> list, and Curtis doesn't want to be on *anybody's* shit
> list if he can possibly help it.

ME: I don't view my role here the way you do I guess.  I don't need to stand up 
for people here very often and they don't need to stand up for me. And you 
don't stand up for me so your complaint is kind of hollow.

> But it would be very interesting to see what bed Curtis
> would make with Barry were he to land on Barry's shit
> list and be subject to the same treatment Barry gives to
> the others on that list. Curtis might not be quite so
> sanguine about the availability of "other choices."
>

ME: There are examples.  Jim and I have had some of the most rancorous 
exchanges with anyone here but we found a friendlier path and now exchanges are 
much more interesting.  There are some posters who will always take agressive 
shots and I avoid them after giving it the old college try.

In fact our interactions are an example of both of us choosing to interact in a 
more interesting way that is less one dimentional.  But it took us both to 
decide that is what we wanted.  No one had to step in and help us work it out.

And I am not even advocating that you do change your pattern with Barry..  You 
both seem to enjoy it so I get it, that this is none of my business.  I was 
just giving my opinion to Robin that the Tango rule is in full force here.  
Barry was giving it to Robin with both barrels.  But he defended himself 
without any rescuers like most adults here.  
I don't understand why you feel you need anyone to intervene when you obviously 
have it all under control and are enjoying yourself in the interaction 
relationship you have both chosen.

On the other hand I have stuck my nose in when the topic interests me so I am 
not making some rule for myself.  I pick and choose just as you do.  But there 
is no intersection between how I relate to you and how Barry does.  Same for 
how I relate to him and the way you do.  I might as well be dealing with two 
different people in each case.  And that is by mutual choice.

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