Hi Robin, Thank you for your reply. No problem at all disagreeing with me.
Anyway, I read your words and I still remain unconvinced of your current "waking" state. Not a big deal, and I can see how you would want to erase that previous state of UC from your awareness, in addition to the entire concept. On the other hand, through your writing, you come across as open, friendly, present, humble, approachable and stable, all hallmarks of someone who approaches the world as if they have more in common with it, and those in it, than not. So there is an inconsistency to me between (1) this apparent massive internal dis-integration and reconstruction of the MZ, negating UC, enlightenment and Eastern culture(?), which sounds like it is still very much in progress, and (2) your demeanor, which I described above. Not to say that both things cannot be expressed, one internally, the other externally, at the same time. They are, and yet that means I appreciate your character more than your particular quest, although I enjoy watching it unfold. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, maskedzebra <no_reply@...> wrote: > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "whynotnow7" <whynotnow7@> wrote: > > Hi Robin, You said, "I certainly have had the experience of acting radically > differently and experiencing myself and reality radically differently, from > one > second before I 'slipped into Unity' in September 1976, and one second after > this event." > > I don't know if you read my earlier comment on this event in your life, but I > am > just not buying it. Not, as many would, challenging your previous experience > of > Unity (implying enlightenment), but that you have somehow "lost" it. All I can > see that you lost is a context that you derived your values from for awhile, > but > the non-Unity Robin I don't see. The Robin I see is here and present and as > available through his writing as I am to myself. Like I said before, there is > a > dynamism, a liveliness, a reality to your stuff that cannot be manufactured or > parroted. > > So, I'd ask you to list please just three areas in which you no longer have > the > ability to become One with your environment, and those you interact with, > hence > your fall from Unity? > > Dear whynotnow: > > It is not that easy contemplating disagreeing with you when you have written > so appreciatively and, I believe, discerningly about my posts. I feel the > naturalness of your way of describing the world from your own point of view, > and I can quite understand how I may seem not quite believable to you when I > denounce the validity of my enlightenment, and attempt to convince others > that I am through with it; that Unity Consciousness has gone right out of > meforever. > > Rather than "just list three areas in which [I] no longer have the ability to > become One with [my] environment, and those [I] interact with", I am going to > give you ten. > > 1. The actual experience of being unified with the whole universe has > completely disappeared from my apprehension of reality. I am distinct and > separate from and in some sense find that I exist not with respect to what is > not intrinsically made of Robinwhich is everything external to me. In Unity > Consciousness I not only saw the Self in everything, I was that Self, and the > Oneness was as obvious to me as the air, my breathing, the sense of gravity. > I was as unified with the entire cosmos as I had been, before, held > completely inside the boundaries of my own individual self. > > 2. The sense of oneness brought with it the experience of having my own > individuality (since it was subsumed inside that oneness) under the control > of something other than my own free will. "Spontaneous right action" as > Maharishi called it. Well, it certainly was spontaneous, but the real kicker > here, whynotnow, was that I could not make decisions from within any primary > sense of my own individuality: my individuality in a very real and empirical > sense belonged to the universe, belonged to creative intelligence. My own > intelligence, my own will, it was suddenly bound up with and obedient to the > intelligence and will which seemed to be running the whole universe. > > 3. My life was not my own. I was thrust into a context of action which was > not prefigured or foreshadowed in anything I had ever known being Robin > before Unity Consciousness. This is what was so terrifying for me, even > though at the time, I rejoiced in this imprisonment, because performing > action as the enlightened man entailed a sense of cosmic freedom, the freedom > to do the will of nature, which was so much bigger than I was, and presumably > had an agenda which encompassed a little more than was encompassed before my > ego was absorbed into the beingness at the basis of all of creation. When > there was only the sense of my own personhood. > > 4. I did things, whynotnow, that I could never conceive of doing prior to > going into Unity Consciousnessand the really extraordinary thing was *to not > be able to not do them*. I hated often what was being done through me, or, if > you like, what my own individuality witnessed as it was forced to surrender > to and obey an intelligence and will which was cosmic and not Robin. Of > course, as I say, this was on the other hand thrilling, because I was > suddenly fearless, effective, triumphant, and purposeful. Acting in contact > with this cosmic intelligence and will I could not, in discharging my destiny > as the enlightened man, fail: no one could oppose me, since no one else > around me was enlightened. The sense of cosmic theatre was absolute, whether > with a group of people, whether with a much larger audience, whether with > myself all alone. It was unbelievable, whynotnow; and to be free now of this > choicelessness, it is the profoundest of blessings for me. Even though, to > repeat, the actual experience of being a cosmic individual was exhilarating > in the extreme. > > 5. To be One with everything meant that my own individuality was not > something apart from the whole of the universe. My own individuality always > seemed to me to be secondary to the larger sense of the Self. This I believe, > now that I am outside of Unity Consciousness, is an illusionit feels true, > there is total support for this experience; but in the end it becomes > impossible to sustain if one wants to be a normal human being. Maharishi was > not a normal human being; and neither was I. His Unity Consciousness I > believe put him into ultimately a false position, because in the end the > universe did not go along with his World Plan, it refused to provide him with > the grace he once knew so intimately, the grace which gave him a context in > the world that no one else had. But all that support was gradually > withdrawnby degreesand somehow Maharishi became distraught and even > disoriented. When I determined my enlightenment was an hallucination I felt > the tremendous distortion that was represented in my being in Unity > Consciousness. And I fought and have been fighting ever since to eliminate > every trace of the mystical transcendent experience of enlightenment. > > 6. In post Unity Consciousness, my free will and my actions are again my own. > I don't have to live each moment wondering what my tongue will say, what my > body will do, what actions I will take: Before I was a witness to this; that > is to say, my actions were virtually as if the actions of another person. > Yes, I always felt somehow the rightness of those actions, but still, they > were being executed inside this context of cosmic oneness, cosmic surrender, > cosmic inspiration. I can't tell you, whynotnow, how wonderful it feels to be > back inside the boundaries of the person Robin: that unboundedness I fear, > and I would never dream of doing anything (like renewing the practise of > Transcendental Meditation) which would resurrect the experience of being > cosmic. I don't want to transcend; I don't want to be cosmic; I don't want to > go beyond my own individual selfhood. I don't think I could tolerate > 'slipping into Unity" once more; I feel it would be tantamount to insanity. > > 7. My relationship to the natural world, then, remains (now after > enlightenment) a relationship where I feel no sense of oneness with that > world at all. Nature, the world, seems to me to be a creationby a Someone; > and I, likewise a creation. But the nature of being a human being means for > me having the experience of being radically isolated and detached from the > external world. I do not have anything in common with the stars, the moon, > the flowers, the sky, the animals. What I have is my first person ontology, > and that ontology cannot be mixed with anything that is not that ontology. > > 8. In my de-enlightened state, whynotnow, I don't have some supernatural > destiny or calling to which I am sacrificed; I can existentially make up my > own purpose now, and the difference between this experience and the > experience of being the instrument of cosmic or creative intelligence is the > difference between being a beautiful train out of control roaring down the > tracks and an engineer who is not a train at all, but someone who thinks and > acts as an agent with no uncontrollable locomotion. And can get off of that > train whenever he wishes to. > > 9. I have been sequestered, alone, monastic in my life since renouncing my > enlightenment and ceasing to give seminars and acting in the persona of the > enlightened man. So I can't really speak to the difference between how I act > socially now and how I used to act when I was in Unity Consciousness, under > the tremendous power and energy of a purpose which was not my own. Before, > when enlightened, every moment was a moment of cosmic theatre, a moment > charged with a perfect meaning, a moment which offered up the chance to > 'individuate' oneself, a moment designed by the Absolute for the perfecting > of one's individuality (TM remained the path to what was impersonally > cosmic). But I do notice that when I interact with people now I don't force > anything, I don't experience some pressing agenda of meaning, I don't try to > influence the person in some 'evolutionary' sense, and I don't make of myself > someone existing in some higher state of awareness than that other person. > > 10. I feel in the most convincing and comprehensive way, whynotnow, that the > East does not represent reality, but that the Westand Roman Catholicismdoes > represent reality, or rather DID represent reality. I have the perfect > experimental knowledge of the East; my reading of Catholic philosophy, > however irrelevant it empirically is now to the business of living and > forging meaning in one's life, nevertheless offers up a paradigm of reality > in direct and profound opposition to the East. I have sided with the West, > even though my personal philosophy is not formally Catholic at all; but it > takes as its starting point the truth of Catholicism as an ontological fact > in the universe before I was born. To be wedded essentially to the experience > of Western Civilizationits art, its music, its literature, its science, its > drama, its technology, its history, its politicsand yes, it's religionjust > seems so much more fundamentally true to my experience of living out the > autumn season of my life. I am of course grateful to have had the experience > of TM, to have known Maharishi as my Master, and to have even been in Unity > Consciousness. But to suppose, as I believe you suppose, whynotnow, that I am > essentially behaving and experiencing inside the same context now as I did > after coming down from that mountain in Arosa, Switzerland September 19, 1976 > is to try to overrule reality. For you, I see no contradictions between your > implicit claim of being awakened to the Oneness of the universe and your way > of conducting your life, if your posts are in any sense a measure of the > person that you are. I am not out to bring you or anyone back to the truth of > waking state consciousness; but I do feel it incumbent on me to be as > truthful as I can in being confronted by your challenge to me to argue out > how, if anything, there is a difference between being in Unity Consciousness > and then being out of Unity Consciousness. > >
