--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Emily Reyn <emilymae.reyn@...> wrote:
>
> <snip>
> "Frankly, you and the other fans of Ravi are all feeding into his drama - and
> I don't see that as a kindness to him." Â Â
>
> Susan, I've read the other responses but this early one grabs me. Â Do you
> see all the inherent assumptions in this statement? Â First of all, I do see
> it as a "kindness" to tease him....e.g., acknowledging I thought the one pic
> he posted was "hot." Â Secondly, "feeding into his drama" is again making the
> indirect assumption that Ravi is mentally ill and needs to be "managed"
> differently from everyone else on this forum - that is awfully presumptuous.
> Â His drama is his, and even he is pretty clear on that. Â He makes fun of
> himself...e.g., referring to himself as a Bhogi. Â He does take feedback
> under consideration, IMO, and he always states his intention to provoke. Â If
> I don't feel like being provoked, I ignore it. Â I don't find him any more
> outside the scope of "normal" than anyone else here, including myself. Â He
> does challenge me and I appreciate that. Â He hasn't called me an "attention
> slut" yet, as I believe Barry might have indirectly, but
> then again, because Barry was soooo indirect, I'm still not sure, nor do I
> really care, but that is a loaded slur for sure, if I choose to take it that
> way.
>
> I think that the presumption that all of us who have interacted with, or
> appreciated what Ravi and also Robin have to say are so stupid that we "take
> sides" and are just "sheep" is coming from a place of pure judgment and is
> supremely disrespectful to the individual and their right to state their POV.
> Â From what I've noticed overall, FFL's mission statement accommodates all
> perspectives and that's one of the beautiful things about it. Â Are we now
> going to "redo" the whole discussion on standards and manuals? Â That was
> last month and I was of the understanding, the majority voted against it. Â
>
> It is never clear to me who is exactly talking about who with non-descript
> kinds of statements...who is "glorifying" and "encouraging" and "egging on"?
> Which of the "recent and prolific posters" are exhibiting the "untethered"
> behavior - and what constitutes that? Â Is it Jim, who just did a week off -
> he's pretty prolific. Â Is it me, with my 48 posts last week - I've been
> pretty untethered. Â Is it Ravi, who returned recently after a
> couple-of-weeks hiatus? Â Is it Robin, who never posts close to the limit but
> also doesn't "chat"? Is it Judy, who posts 50 every week? Â Is it Yifu, who
> also posts close to 50? Â From an outsider perspective, one might say he is
> the most "untethered" of all - talk about provocative (first person ontology
> thing). Â His artwork can really bother me sometimes - I now ask myself what
> about whatever picture is bothering me so much. Â It's usually a personal
> belief that might need to be changed :) Â
>
>
> Ravi has a certain writing style, so does Robin, so do you, so do I, so does
> Curtis, so does Barry, so does Obba, so does Judy.....etc., etc. Â That's
> what makes it interesting and fun. Â I take in what I understand, or like, or
> what provokes me, or what makes me think, or what triggers me, or makes me
> laugh, and leave the rest. Sometimes I ask myself, what is the larger point
> said person is trying to get across? Â Often, other people who respond help
> me to figure that out - often, after I have already posted I change my
> viewpoint on said topic. Â I seldom go back to indicate this. Â
>
> I don't ultimately care what FFL thinks of me because I was trying to save my
> life and my sanity when I got here, and the larger goal is really all that I
> keep in mind, ultimately. Â Does the fact that I was deeply depressed mean
> that I am "manic-depressive" and should be "managed" more carefully? I
> certainly  hope not - I'm not here to be coddled actually.  Yes, it's all
> about what works for me, although I have tried to start giving back, because
> "survival" can be quite self-centered, and I don't want to re-create the next
> phase of my life that way.Â
>
> Ravi, btw, was the first person to respond to me and acknowledge my existence
> favorably and kindly and yes, I have a soft spot in my heart for him. He
> helped pull me up from the depths of depression, along with several others,
> and in the larger picture, all of FFL. Â Did I think Judy was "curt", when I
> started? Â Yes. Â Do I think so now? Â Not so much. Â I find her human and
> objective and mostly non-judgmental. Â She judges what she perceives as
> judgment, as do I. Â I would hope that she cares enough to call me on my shit
> when she thinks I'm way off base...I would hope that anyone does. Â I would
> totally take it under consideration and although my ego might react badly at
> first, ultimately, I might revisit my POV. Â
>
> This is all within the range of "normal", the way I see it. Â
>
> Ravi does ID names and assign his version of labels, so do others, so do you.
> Â If Ravi "told a lie" about Curtis (which I paid absolutely no attention to
> at all btw, being an outsider) than Curtis will respond, as he did. Â I would
> too if someone was "lying" about me. Â But, when attaching a judgment to it
> all and coming to some larger conclusion and trying to identify "friends and
> enemies", one must be careful that they are not, in fact, being hypocritical.
> The whole "he who casts the first stone" and all - all of us are guilty is
> the way I look at it. Â
>
> I guarantee that I pay absolutely no attention to this at all and it has
> never influenced my opinion of Curtis or Barry or Bob or Vaj, for
> example.  I come to my own conclusions and I don't appreciate the idea that
> I might be lumped into some "list" or "side." Â Yuk. Â I find Curtis very
> interesting to read and very funny. Â I totally also agree with Robin that
> his post to Ravi, letting him know he should "go ahead and get that guitar"
> changed the tone of what Robin was trying to say and cut him off. Â This
> forum recognizes everybody (someone will almost always jump in with a
> response) and one of those responses almost always has compassion and humor,
> and I find that tremendously freeing and validating and humane and healing. Â
>
>
Denise,
I read your post. Briefly, I think Ravi is brilliant. I do know I don't
appreciate his style of writing here. Others do. Fine. And in response to
your words, I have only huge sympathy for anyone experiencing any sort of brain
disorder - from depression to bipolar or anything else. I have family members
who have struggled with depression and even temporary psychosis due to thyroid
storms. I get it. If FFL helps anyone with that, it serves a worthwhile
purpose. Well, there is nothing more for me to say. I expressed myself. Glad
you are finding FFL helpful. I am not interested in this topic any longer.
