You're right - as I spent time with her the night before I realized that most of the desire I was feeling to keep her alive was my own ego - the desire to be the big daddy, the savior and to be responsible - it really had nothing to do with her. As most of us might do I kept asking her inside myself "What do you want me to do?" and the only thing I heard was "What do you want to do?" - I imagined it came from her but it could have been my way of hallucinating.
________________________________ From: authfriend <authfri...@yahoo.com> To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Saturday, December 22, 2012 1:40 PM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Christmas Michael, you *absolutely* did the right thing, as painful as it was for you. Humans can live meaningful, fulfilling lives even if the *quality* of their lives is circumscribed by illlness, because they have virtually infinite mental and spiritual resources to draw on. For animals, quality of life is much more important because their other resources are limited, at least comparatively speaking. It is not kind to an animal to prolong its life if the quality is seriously diminished. We tend to want to do that for ourselves because we love the animal and don't want to lose it, but it's a greater act of love to be willing to let the animal go. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Michael Jackson <mjackson74@...> wrote: > > I have to admit reading your experience made me cry again. I felt like a > traitor for not being willing to do anything and everything possible to keep > her alive. I even have a holistic vet friend who was willing to guide me with > regards to diet, herbs and treatment (she lives in Spokane and was Shakti's > vet years ago when she lived in SC) > > The night before I was up about half the night, and as I sat with her, I > could tell or at least I felt she was already not fully in her body - the > other thing was for me to choose to keep her alive I would have had to move > her to my new place and she would have had to become an indoor cat after > nearly 18 years of traipsing around in the woods outside my old house - I > just didn't want to put her through the stress of a new strange environment > and then have to put her to sleep in that strange environment - the vet I > took her to said she might have a year, or she might go down hill in 2-3 > weeks. (it was kidney failure - we completely missed what few symptoms were > there - mainly drinking way more water than she usually did - in fact that > was the only symptom for about 3 months and I was stupid enough to be happy > that she was being well hydrated) > > I just wanted her to go in the same place she had lived and known for all > those years - it was still a very strange thing to place her on the table > after they had give the tranquilizer and step back so the vet and her > assistant could administer the euthanasia drug. > > She survived all those years, lost an eye to our other cat when she was about > 4, got bitten by a copperhead once, escaped a fox that chased her right up > the cat ladder that led to her cat door in the window, brought innumerable > live mice into the house and let them loose, plus the 2 flying squirrels she > let loose in my bedroom - she even caught a bat one night - that really > freaked me out - I didn't know it was possible for a cat to catch a bat. > > Once my roommate had planted some small bushes that died mysteriously until > she pulled on one and it came straight up in her hand - from having been > bitten half into by a mole - she was so mad - she looked around at Shakti and > said "Why don't you go kill those moles?" > > > Less than 5 minutes later Shakti came up with the muffled maowing that > denoted a kill and damned if she didn't have a mole in her mouth. > > So thank you Curtis and everyone for your condolences - I really appreciate > it more than I can say. > > > > > ________________________________ > From: curtisdeltablues <curtisdeltablues@...> > To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com > Sent: Saturday, December 22, 2012 10:27 AM > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Christmas > > >  > I feel for you. I was in your shoes for my 18 YO Abyssinian two years ago > around this time of year. I'm glad you were able to make this final act of > kindness, and I know it is hard. > > I was preparing my guitar case for a show last month. I found a few > distinctively ticked brown hairs in it and it brought instant tears. > > Ginger used to love to lie in the soft interior of my guitar cases, even > though I would constantly chase her out because the top could fall on her. > When I would catch her, usually as I was packing for a show, she would raise > up her tiny head, defiant. My preliminary scolding hiss would only make her > hunker down deeper into the plush. > > "Make me", her steady eyes conveyed. > > Once again I would reach in and scoop her up placing her on her much plusher, > but not forbidden so less interesting, bed. She would stretch, give me one > last withering gaze, and settle into a nap, triumphant in getting me to > react, which was the whole point of the exercise. > > All the best for your own healing heart. > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Michael Jackson <mjackson74@> wrote: > > > > Yeah too many posts last week and I had to have my 18 year old cat put to > > sleep - I was very attached to her - so I been kinda quiet since then > > > > > > > > > > ________________________________ > > From: authfriend <authfriend@> > > To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com > > Sent: Friday, December 21, 2012 8:59 PM > > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Christmas > > > > > >  > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "mjackson74" <mjackson74@> wrote: > > > > > > Hope everyone has a very fine holiday(s) and the New Year brings > > > goodness and contentment to everyone. > > > > Thanks, Michael, and to you as well. Missed you this past week! > > >
