--- Peter wrote: > > projective > identification. The person in question unconsciously > projects a unintegrated/disowned aspect of their > personality onto others and provokes them into > responding/behaving in accord with that unintegrated > part. People have a tendency to "go off" on the person > in question thus perpetuating the abuse he experiences
This reminds me of a problem I've noticed in myself. I've found myself treating people the way they I suspect they wish to be treated, rather than in a way that reflects my ideals. I recall an example from years ago when lurkman and I just got done sledding on a hill in front of a museum that was showing a slavery retrospective. We're white. As we piled our gear into the car, a black man came out of the museum, reasonably and visibly upset. His car was parked next to ours. I opened our car door carelessly and it bumped the rubber bumper of the black man's car. He jumped out, furious, and examined his car for damage. Thank God I hit the rubber, and there was no scuff. But did I explain? Did I apologize? Did I try to palliate his outrage? No. I thought of it, but decided, "He wants to feel put upon. I won't spoil it for him." I felt like I was part of a larger matrix and had no individual will. We drove away without a word. I marvel at my assholeness to this day. ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Ever feel sad or cry for no reason at all? Depression. Narrated by Kate Hudson. http://us.click.yahoo.com/CQDrNC/ubOLAA/d1hLAA/0NYolB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
