RE: My Bella's baby died

[Hideyo Yamamoto]

Hi, everyone, today is one of the saddest day of my life – one of Bella’s babies died this morning around 2 am and I think I caused her to die. I am just too upset about what happened.  But, I wanted to help, but instead I killed her.  She was only 10 days old and she did not even get to open her eyes.  All I know was that it was definitely not her time to go yet.  But I killed her.  I am so mad at myself and am just going insane from a grief of losing her.  I was supposed to protect Bella and her babies and not to hurt them.  I could still hear her meow right before she stopped breathing.. I am such a ignorant and stupid, I should just let Bella who knows what she is doing to continue to care for her. I did not event get to name her.. Bella is very sad and does not know what happened – it’s all my fault – everyone please please pray that the little baby angel is at heaven and comes back as a new life very very soon and have much happiness in her new life – and I am very sure that most of you know how this feels.  It’s sad enough to lose her, but it’s unbearable to know that you are the who killed an innocent life and she was not ready to go. Please do not make me feel better as I feel that it’s sinful to feel better – she is gone, there is nothing I can do about it, but I just cannot stop crying and am just so angry myself and feel so badly for the baby and Bella –   Thank you for all your prayers for the baby –   Hideyo