--- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, "coolclump" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > hi there, > i've always been a silent spectator of this grp. after reading ur > reaction for gays marrying straight women, i've a humble > comment/doubt to put forth: > won't it be selfish of us(gays) if we deny getting married? cuz, > the majority of the parents of gays are conservative and it's a > matter of pride for them to get their sons/daughters married.
Well isn't is selfish to use the woman that way? Doesn't she deserve to be with a man who loves and desires her fully? In your scenario is the woman even to be informed that she's marrying a gay man so that she may have a choice as to whether she wishes to participate or not? Besides, why not marry a man that you love and adopt children, if you want a marriage and children? > and we're here on the earth only because of them. it's our parents > who've given us an identity. aren't we obliged to go by their words > as in case of marriage? If your parents' world view doesn't have a place in it for gays, then they've betrayed you as parents, and you owe them nothing. > can't we make this sacrifice, If you want to sacrifice yourself, that's one thing, and your choice, but if you mean to deceive a woman, then you are sacrificing _her_ in addition, which you have no right to do. It's clearly immoral! > to make our parents happy? What about your own happiness? We're not our parents' property, and in fact, if anything, the parent's debt to the child is far greater than any the child might have to the parent, for not a single one of us asked to be brought into this world. The case could easily be made that our parents should apologize to us for bringing us into the world - so full of pain and suffering as it is - rather than expect gratitude and obedience for that dubious gift. > and i'm sure gays will definitely have children after marriage. > that'll also make our parents happy grandparents na..? Nobody is entitled to a happiness that must come at the cost of a lie. If one must put on such a sham, at least let him find a lesbian who also wants children with whom to set up house, rather than deceive some innocent girl. > well, this is not my principle or opinion. it's just a small doubt > that has kept me in conflict for quite a long time. and i just > wanna know how other gays 'll respond to this.. I know that for many Indians going against the wishes of our parents can be very difficult, or even unthinkable, but as I've outlined above, that isn't really rational. > i understand ur point also but would u or anyone substantiate ur > point of view? > > how'll u tackle a question as this? would u prefer saying-'yes, i'm > selfish' or 'no, i'll better make my conservative parents happy...' If your parents would rather you live a lie, or even much worse, deceive an innocent fiancee, for the sake of a proper marriage to show around, or grandchildren, then it is _they_ who are selfish and whose values are askew, not you. You don't owe that to anybody. Even our beloved parents are not entitled to ignore the changing world. Even our beloved parents may not ask to be exempted from learning to except new ideas. If we love and respect our parents, then why take away from them such opportunities for growth? As for those of our parents who do not want to learn and grow, do they really deserve our respect for such an attitude? Love and respect, even in the parent-child relationship, must flow equally in both directions. David Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info ========================== This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking "Reply") will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Classifieds for personal advertisements are back on www.gaybombay.info site. Please exercise restraint in the language of your personal advertisement. Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
