Hi there,
I was just holding back the thought of gay guys getting
married to heterosexual girls and couple of things popped up in my
mind.
Firstly how will the poor girl's reaction be on finding, that her
husband don't only like her but not even her kind
Secondly I wonder, do these spineless fellow, who so desperately
seek sympathy out of bachelor gay guys or blame all the hardships of
they being forced to marry a girl due to family respect, pride,
conservativeness, tradition and bla bla, don't have enough courage
to walk out of their family home and start a life on their own and
challenging their family to love them as they are or forget about it?
Don't you ever guys get worried about ur brother-in-law or son-in-
law being a gay guy, who is living and fooling ur sister and
daughter in the name of calling themselves societal well beings. I
wish you bed them before they marry ur sister and daughter or at
least ur best gay friend should sleep with them, when they are very
much married to ur near and dear ones, and then lets see how much
guilt do you people suffer and bare. Than the bill wud be footed and
injustice would be gulped down ur throat promptly as you already
doing so.
In today century, I guess no excuse should be taken or even
discussed in favour of a gay guy deliberately ruining a girl's life.
That's it,
Rajeev.
--- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, "david_russell_watson"
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, "coolclump" <coolclump@> wrote:
> >
> > hi there,
> > i've always been a silent spectator of this grp. after reading
ur
> > reaction for gays marrying straight women, i've a humble
> > comment/doubt to put forth:
> > won't it be selfish of us(gays) if we deny getting married? cuz,
> > the majority of the parents of gays are conservative and it's a
> > matter of pride for them to get their sons/daughters married.
>
> Well isn't is selfish to use the woman that way?
> Doesn't she deserve to be with a man who loves and
> desires her fully? In your scenario is the woman
> even to be informed that she's marrying a gay man
> so that she may have a choice as to whether she
> wishes to participate or not?
>
> Besides, why not marry a man that you love and adopt
> children, if you want a marriage and children?
>
> > and we're here on the earth only because of them. it's our
parents
> > who've given us an identity. aren't we obliged to go by their
words
> > as in case of marriage?
>
> If your parents' world view doesn't have a place in
> it for gays, then they've betrayed you as parents,
> and you owe them nothing.
>
> > can't we make this sacrifice,
>
> If you want to sacrifice yourself, that's one thing,
> and your choice, but if you mean to deceive a woman,
> then you are sacrificing _her_ in addition, which you
> have no right to do. It's clearly immoral!
>
> > to make our parents happy?
>
> What about your own happiness? We're not our parents'
> property, and in fact, if anything, the parent's debt
> to the child is far greater than any the child might
> have to the parent, for not a single one of us asked
> to be brought into this world.
>
> The case could easily be made that our parents should
> apologize to us for bringing us into the world - so
> full of pain and suffering as it is - rather than expect
> gratitude and obedience for that dubious gift.
>
> > and i'm sure gays will definitely have children after marriage.
> > that'll also make our parents happy grandparents na..?
>
> Nobody is entitled to a happiness that must come at the
> cost of a lie.
>
> If one must put on such a sham, at least let him find
> a lesbian who also wants children with whom to set up
> house, rather than deceive some innocent girl.
>
> > well, this is not my principle or opinion. it's just a small
doubt
> > that has kept me in conflict for quite a long time. and i just
> > wanna know how other gays 'll respond to this..
>
> I know that for many Indians going against the wishes of
> our parents can be very difficult, or even unthinkable,
> but as I've outlined above, that isn't really rational.
>
> > i understand ur point also but would u or anyone substantiate ur
> > point of view?
> >
> > how'll u tackle a question as this? would u prefer saying-'yes,
i'm
> > selfish' or 'no, i'll better make my conservative parents
happy...'
>
> If your parents would rather you live a lie, or even
> much worse, deceive an innocent fiancee, for the sake
> of a proper marriage to show around, or grandchildren,
> then it is _they_ who are selfish and whose values are
> askew, not you.
>
> You don't owe that to anybody.
>
> Even our beloved parents are not entitled to ignore
> the changing world. Even our beloved parents may
> not ask to be exempted from learning to except new
> ideas. If we love and respect our parents, then why
> take away from them such opportunities for growth?
> As for those of our parents who do not want to learn
> and grow, do they really deserve our respect for such
> an attitude?
>
> Love and respect, even in the parent-child relationship,
> must flow equally in both directions.
>
> David
>
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