Hi Sumeet I appreciate your tenacity in replying! Wish I had the same I am with you, man, even though I may not agree to every point you make, but overall, I am with u A
--- Sumeet Mehra <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Hi Utkarsh! > > Well said. But hey buddy, can you tell me > definition of strength and courage. You dont want to > marry because you think you cant make it with > females. > > In life many people make small and big > achievements. Can you tell me what are achievements? > To achieve something uncommon or unusual. You want > to give up because you dont want to fight. Have you > heard of a woman who gaveup in the mid way of giving > birth to a child because of the labor pain she felt. > Certainly not. So thats courage, which you lack. I > am forced to use this statement. A woman when she > concieves for first time has only heard of pain but > never felt it. If even women think like you then you > would not be on this earth. There are many other > examples like this. > Just look around. But you dont want to fight. You > want to talk to your parents, but have you ever > spoken with yourself? You have belief on them but > you lack same belief in yourself. Its not about > making people understand what you are, but making > yourself realise what you can be. > Those who dont have courage can never win a war. > And life is like a war at ever step. Even Arjun > thought he could not fight but he did because > Krishna was with him. Unless you dont, how will you > know that God is with you. We face in life many > times such challenges that we never thought of. We > dont think that time, what if we loose? We try all > our best. Thats what we are suppose to do. I believe > in putting my best efforts to make a relation grow > and then its growth is my achievement. But a frog of > well can never know about ocean. Come out of the > well, to know. Life is difficult but not that one > cant beat it. You surely lack fighting spirit. > > from > Sumeet. > > > utkarsh <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Just want to add something to this discussion - > > Do not make assumptions on behalf of your parents. > The key to any > healthy relationship is communication and this holds > true for every > kind of relationship. Our parents assume that we > will be happy married > to a nice girl and they act on this assumption. We > on the other hand > assume that if we ever told our parents about our > sexual orientation, > they will die of grief and their lives will be > destroyed. Now if only > we work up enough ourage and talk to them about our > problem and why we > can not marry, things might work out in a different > manner. > > We have to let them know what will make us happy and > then leave the > decision of whether marriage to a girl do the same > on them. Our > parents have not brought us up so that we keep mum > when it's most > important to speak up and destroy so many lives. > Believe me no matter > how conservative, they will always love you. You > have to let them know > about the true you. > > Once again, marrying is not a solution, but the > beginning of a very > big lifelong problem. No matter what Sumeet and the > likes of him say, > I'd say stay away from marriage. it is not easy; I > am still > contemplating how to come out to my parents; but I > am sure about one > thing, that I will not marry. This life is too > precious to while away > regretting and living with a guilty conscience. > > Courage to strengthen! > > > > --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, Sonub Jalan > <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > sweetheart...i love my parents. they are the most > important people in my life and their happiness > means the whole world to me. but that does not give > me the right to trap a girl into a "marriage" i am > completetly disinterested in. it would mean either > living my whole life against my instints devoid of > passion and true love or cheating on her. i would > rather go through this period of pain for my parents > and me, be there for them, wait for them to come to > terms with my true nature and take it from there on. > > the two options you have concluded your mail with > arent really the only two options available to gay > men. your outlook only belies your lack of courage > to face the challenges you are up against. and by no > means am i saying the challenges you and i have to > face as gay men are trivial. but they are our > challenges that we have to face...call it > karma...call it a blessing...call it a curse. those > of us who come out of it with are wits about us will > live. the other wimps will be advising hapless > youngsters on how to get a hard on with women so > that they may fulfill their parents desperate > superficial dreams...against their true nature and > leading everyone involved into perpetual despair. > > coolclump <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: hi there, i've > always been a silent spectator of this grp. after > reading ur reaction for gays marrying straight > women, i've a humble comment/doubt to put forth: > won't it be selfish of us(gays) if we deny getting > married? cuz, the majority of the parents of gays > are conservative and it's a matter of pride for them > to get their sons/daughters married. > > and we're here on the earth only because of them. > it's our parents who've given us an identity. aren't > we obliged to go by their words as in case of > marriage? > > can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents > happy? and i'm sure gays will definitely have > children after marriage. that'll also make our > parents happy grandparents na..? > > well, this is not my principle or opinion. it's just > a small doubt that has kept me in conflict for quite > a long time. and i just wanna know how other gays > 'll respond to this.. > > i understand ur point also but would u or anyone > substantiate ur point of view? > > how'll u tackle a question as this? would u prefer > saying-'yes, i'm selfish' or 'no, i'll better make > my conservative parents happy...' > > cheers.. v > > --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, Sonub Jalan > <likluv@> wrote: > > rent you contradicting yourself? "Sex is in the > mind" and "still at heart we are gay"...who are you > fooling? If you have indeed attained intimacy with > your wife (proving that it is possible) then why the > need to be here? > > I dont know under what circumstances you have had to > marry and I will not like to sit in judgement of > your actions. But this is definitely not the advise > you can give to people who are under pressure to get > married to a woman. What such people (people like > me) need to know is that you will then be using a > woman's life to experiment. You are living in denial > about what you and she needs and someday you will > not be able to live the pretence any longer. > > For those of you who are married...you can spend the > rest of your life "adjusting" and "rubbing your > wife's cheeks" or acknowledge the clossal mistake > you have made and go your separate ways. Acknowledge > that you are "not a perfect husband like heteros" > and a hetro is what any straight woman deserves, > while you are respnsible for denying her that. > > And then maybe some of you married guys have been > lucky in that your wife has waited long enough for > you to "get physical as if it means nothing to you > as would between two friends". I know of women who > kicked the living daylights out of their husbands > for not being good enough. Lots of rounds to > hospitals to cure their impotency. So dont you dare > make your plight a general rule. > > Get real guys. While the honourable GB list jury is > still out on whether true love is possible in the > gay world, I believe it is better to be alone than > to live a lie. > > I have fought really hard not to marry, being the > only son in a very conservative family. It has > affected my parents health and been the cause of a > lot of tension in my family. But I would rather live > with this than a wife with whom I need to develop > intimacy and "Achieving sex with one women" against > my instincts. > > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info ========================== This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking "Reply") will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Classifieds for personal advertisements are back on www.gaybombay.info site. Please exercise restraint in the language of your personal advertisement. Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
