Dear boy_alone00 (Randy),
I appreciate your feelings for Asif. You have great love for him indeed.
Asif lives inside your heart and soul. That Asif who lives deep inside
of you is the world's best partner that you can ever have.
Many of us have gone through what you are going through, in varying
degrees. Some of us have taken the agonizing steps and walked away from
that lover who lives (and perhaps shall always live) deep within us.
Without in anyway demeaning your true love for Asif I ask you to look
without, in the real world, for a moment. The reality is that Asif does
not, and probably never did, love you. That's the real Asif who lives
outside your heart and soul. The real Asif has gone away from you and is
living a life that he wants - in the real world.
I don't have the authority or the knowledge to ask you to follow my
advise. But I request you to think this through calmly. I know it is
going to be difficult since Asif lives inside you all the time but try
it any way. Think:
* Are you happy being sad? I mean, are you contented in a state of
depression? Is that a natural feeling for you? Almost like it is part of
your anatomy.
* Have you woven good and bad memories of your time spent with Asif
into a cloth where you can't feel the good parts of the cloth without
simultaneously feeling the bad parts? Since you constantly want to feel
the good memories of Asif you welcome the bad ones?
* Yes, you are certainly in love with Asif. But is he in love with
you? Doesn't he have the right to love the person he cares for?
* Is there someone right now who is desperate to love you but you are
not letting him because you love Asif? Are you not being unjust to that
unknown admirer and to yourself?
* You have given your dream Asif a character, a persona, and
attributed to him all the good qualities that are indeed projections of
your own self.
Think about all those things (boy_alone00) Randy. Best of luck.
Regards,Deephttp://gaynotes.blogspot.com
--- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, "boy_alone00" <boy_alone00@...>
wrote:
>
> Dont you think Manoj, some people try to show thier intelligence in a
different way, by advising people to have fun and cheer in life, when
they are depressed, rather than giving them a root solutions..
>
> How long can the party go on, how long will you have sex and with how
many, how long will you drink and drug, will the night not get over as
it has to... and what will one do when he is so depressed, tied up when
the party, sex and drink and drug is over... who will kill his
loneliness..
>
> I was truly and am in true love with asif, i did meet others not out
of urge, but only when i was frustrated, waiting for my lovers message..
not replied in anger i got drunk couple of times..and only thing that
came to mind was seducing a hot guy passing by any car and mate with
him..than in the morning i would die with guilt and shame..
> and making my lover go more far away thinking i am not being loyal to
him..so would abuse him, irritate him and do crazy things so he could
hate me..but this all was foolishness..evil what made me do things like
that which i can never do.. because i love him so much and am totally
dedicated to him..
>
> but yes i could i did and i am resisting, the hottest guy stands nude
in front of me cannot shake me... my lover is not around he has left the
city, not called me.. i dont know where he is gone..
> but im still waiting and will wait.. money, sex, guys, wealth all can
come.. but peace can only come when you are loved by someone truly..
>
> Today i have everything.. can get even lots more, party guys, sex,
wealth.. but i just drink but dont loose my senses and go for sex wth
anyone... just drink till i sleep thinking of him...
>
> So As per Mr Mad Cow, or any other guys who think this way, that
enjoyment canbring peace...than you guys are WRONG....
>
> I HAVE EVERYTHING BUT NOT PEACE.. BECAUSE I DONT HAVE MY LOVER ANYMORE
> I CAN GET MANY OTHER LOVERS, BUT THEY CANT BE MY LOVERS BECAUSE THEY
ARE NOT ASIF.
>
> THANK YOU.
> RANDY
