Randy (boy_alone00), I appreciate you taking my reply to your post in the right spirit. Some others may have simply responded with venom. It is great that you have turned on your creative side and are penning a book. You can add all the spice you want - remember it is YOUR story and YOUR world in the book that you are writing so you can turn the story in any direction that you like. The story is inside your circle of control. A real person is not. Your career is MOST important. You need to be able to support yourself all your life. A successful areer is what will increase your self worth. Keep trying to convert your tears into laughter. It is OK to feel depressed sometimes and also to be able to see the wonder in the people who are around us. If you feel that depression and/or alcoholism is getting to much for you to handle, please know that help is available and readily so.
Regards,Deephttp://gaynotes.blogspot.com --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, "boy_alone00" <boy_alone00@...> wrote: > > Deep, > > > Thank you so much for your practical and caring advice.. but you know i feel the world that i have created for asif and me, i just want to live in it every moment.. though at the moment i miss him a lot always have tears just waiting to drop any moment.. but as days go by, as im getting ore and more busy with work.. i still always and always want to live in his world... but i want to turn these tears into smiles by just remembereing the best of memories of him.. remember his fsce his smile.. i want to have him only in my mind and heart forever.. but also being ahppy and successful in life.. > > Deep, its true i have many guys around me, im not too good looking, but i have many guys including straight at work anywhere i go, while travelling guys say i have a charisma they cant resist.. get attracted to me wanna get close to me spend time with me and much more.. but the moment i feel anyone is trying to get closer to me, i draw a line and dont speak to them much, i somehow start hating that person.. its like inborn in me.. Asif or anyone never bonded me to him... but i feel know one except him has the the right to get closer to me.. not even to laugh with.. > > I am writing a book nowadays to keep myself busy, and not to drink.. i think ill get on track of carrier and job and sucess.. but yes my smile my inner happiness, i dont know when ill get it... though i trying too hard, to turn my tears into smile.. by only being his world.. hope this works..I just miss him so much. > > Take Care Deep > > --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, "Deep" gaymanproud31@ wrote: > > > > Dear boy_alone00 (Randy), > > I appreciate your feelings for Asif. You have great love for him indeed. > > Asif lives inside your heart and soul. That Asif who lives deep inside > > of you is the world's best partner that you can ever have. > > Many of us have gone through what you are going through, in varying > > degrees. Some of us have taken the agonizing steps and walked away from > > that lover who lives (and perhaps shall always live) deep within us. > > Without in anyway demeaning your true love for Asif I ask you to look > > without, in the real world, for a moment. The reality is that Asif does > > not, and probably never did, love you. That's the real Asif who lives > > outside your heart and soul. The real Asif has gone away from you and is > > living a life that he wants - in the real world. > > I don't have the authority or the knowledge to ask you to follow my > > advise. But I request you to think this through calmly. I know it is > > going to be difficult since Asif lives inside you all the time but try > > it any way. Think: > > > > * Are you happy being sad? I mean, are you contented in a state of > > depression? Is that a natural feeling for you? Almost like it is part of > > your anatomy. > > * Have you woven good and bad memories of your time spent with Asif > > into a cloth where you can't feel the good parts of the cloth without > > simultaneously feeling the bad parts? Since you constantly want to feel > > the good memories of Asif you welcome the bad ones? > > * Yes, you are certainly in love with Asif. But is he in love with > > you? Doesn't he have the right to love the person he cares for? > > * Is there someone right now who is desperate to love you but you are > > not letting him because you love Asif? Are you not being unjust to that > > unknown admirer and to yourself? > > * You have given your dream Asif a character, a persona, and > > attributed to him all the good qualities that are indeed projections of > > your own self. > > > > Think about all those things (boy_alone00) Randy. Best of luck. > > Regards,Deephttp://gaynotes.blogspot.com > > > > > > --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, "boy_alone00" <boy_alone00@> > > wrote: > > > > > > Dont you think Manoj, some people try to show thier intelligence in a > > different way, by advising people to have fun and cheer in life, when > > they are depressed, rather than giving them a root solutions.. > > > > > > How long can the party go on, how long will you have sex and with how > > many, how long will you drink and drug, will the night not get over as > > it has to... and what will one do when he is so depressed, tied up when > > the party, sex and drink and drug is over... who will kill his > > loneliness.. > > > > > > I was truly and am in true love with asif, i did meet others not out > > of urge, but only when i was frustrated, waiting for my lovers message.. > > not replied in anger i got drunk couple of times..and only thing that > > came to mind was seducing a hot guy passing by any car and mate with > > him..than in the morning i would die with guilt and shame.. > > > and making my lover go more far away thinking i am not being loyal to > > him..so would abuse him, irritate him and do crazy things so he could > > hate me..but this all was foolishness..evil what made me do things like > > that which i can never do.. because i love him so much and am totally > > dedicated to him.. > > > > > > but yes i could i did and i am resisting, the hottest guy stands nude > > in front of me cannot shake me... my lover is not around he has left the > > city, not called me.. i dont know where he is gone.. > > > but im still waiting and will wait.. money, sex, guys, wealth all can > > come.. but peace can only come when you are loved by someone truly.. > > > > > > Today i have everything.. can get even lots more, party guys, sex, > > wealth.. but i just drink but dont loose my senses and go for sex wth > > anyone... just drink till i sleep thinking of him... > > > > > > So As per Mr Mad Cow, or any other guys who think this way, that > > enjoyment canbring peace...than you guys are WRONG.... > > > > > > I HAVE EVERYTHING BUT NOT PEACE.. BECAUSE I DONT HAVE MY LOVER ANYMORE > > > I CAN GET MANY OTHER LOVERS, BUT THEY CANT BE MY LOVERS BECAUSE THEY > > ARE NOT ASIF. > > > > > > THANK YOU. > > > RANDY > > >
