I do agree that people often work out their disputes, but i have also seen, and been involved in, cases where the one with the ability to block wins. That is the sort of thing that not only drives people out of the project, but also causes them to advocate against the project to people they meet.
Sent from my T-Mobile 4G LTE device ------ Original message------ From: Daniel and Elizabeth Case Date: Wed, Dec 10, 2014 11:16 PM To: kerry.raym...@gmail.com;Addressing gender equity and exploring ways to increase theparticipation of women within Wikimedia projects.; Subject:Re: [Gendergap] Arbcom election What’s missing from this?: >I don’t think most disputes get “resolved”. I think one person simply gives >up. Maybe they don’t think the issue is that important, >maybe they feel that >they don’t have the time to argue it, maybe they feel that the other person >involved is too unpleasant to want to try to engage with, maybe they’ve found >that no matter what they do, they never make a difference. Give up? It’s “maybe one person realizes the other person was right, and does it their way from then on, without any hard feelings.” It has happened to me quite a few times. That’s the sort of outcome I was talking about. Of course, I think of these in terms of pure content disputes (should we or should we not mention something? how should we format this table? and so forth ...) because that’s what most of those I’ve been involved in have been. Disputes over someone’s conduct are something else entirely, because it’s harder for people to admit they were wrong in that department. And why I always say it cannot be repeated enough that, when you realize the argument is no longer about what you were originally arguing about but has instead become a meta-argument about the argument itself, you should stop immediately as it will no longer accomplish anything constructive to continue. Daniel Case
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