Questions of leadership raise their ugly head. . . Without knowing what options are open to you it's hard to decide. I'm reading between the lines that this is probably a high school situation. Here's my suggestion (print this out and take it to the nearest Starbucks and use it to purchase a cup of coffee, it will cost you $5.00. Without this advice they'll only charge you $1.50) sit down with you band director and orchestra director (if a different person). Explain the situation and then lay out some steps you'd like to take. See if the director(s) are in agreement with you action.
What action do you want to take? Well, sit down with the individual in question (in a private setting) explain how his actions are inappropriate, be specific and VERY IMPORTANT keep you emotions totally in check. He's out to get your goat. Don't let him. Once you shown him what is inappropriate explain what you expect from him, what accepted behavior will be. Ask him if he agrees with what you've said. If he doesn't, ask him why. Make notes of the conversation and give him a copy. After this is over get with your director again and go over what transpired in the meeting. Tell the director you'd like to give it a week to see if anything has changed. Tell the director also, that if things haven't changed you would seek his/her assistance in dealing with the issue. If he's no longer a problem - great. End of story. If his behavior hasn't changed go back to the director and seek his/her assistance. In your dealings with the second horn, you may not want to bring up anything about getting the director involved. Don't mention it one way or the other. Bt keeping this in your court, so to speak, you are reinforcing your own authority. If you bring up the director right off, it's no long you in charge of the situation, it's the director. If things don't work out, and you need someone with more power to handle discipline issues then hand it over to the director. Long winded advice I'll admit, but it may have an idea or two that will help. If the behavior doesn't change -----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Mara Cushion Sent: Thursday, October 06, 2005 11:01 AM To: horn@music.memphis.edu Subject: [Hornlist] disrespect in the section Hey all, I was wondering if anyone might give me suggestions as to how to deal with a disrespectful section member. I am section leader for both the top band and orchestra at my school and there's one kid in particular who keeps giving me attitude. I have much more experience than he does in music on and off the horn, so I am confident in the decisions I make. However, the 2nd horn, doesn't want to listen to what I tell him to do. He's mouthy and rude to me and thoroughly enjoys making me look bad in front of the entire ensemble. He points out my mistakes to everyone and won't stop talking until he's made sure he's succeeded. He raises his voice across the top of the ensemble and is just flat out defiant. I am 4 years older than him and have been playing horn at least that much longer than him. Last year, when I wasn't section leader, he never acted like that, but now it's constant. I don't know how to gain control of the situation and it would be nice if he just kept quiet. I understand if he has a valid question, but I feel it is rather disrespectful for him to be pointing out my mistakes. Can anyone offer me any suggestions of things I might say to him or at least gain some control? I don't want to be a bitch and lose my cool. Thanks, Mara _______________________________________________ post: horn@music.memphis.edu unsubscribe or set options at http://music2.memphis.edu/mailman/options/horn/bgross%40airmail.net _______________________________________________ post: horn@music.memphis.edu unsubscribe or set options at http://music2.memphis.edu/mailman/options/horn/archive%40jab.org
