Hi Arlene, Welcome Arlene! Glad you are here! Sorry to welcome you on this particular post, which is kind of sad.
I completely agree with your assessment of this therapist. Had I adhered to this, I would have grieved a whopping 6 months over the loss of my lover. It probably took me a little too long but at least I am still here and whole again. Mags said grief is a personal journey and that it is. There are stages and everyone deals with each differently. While there was some major trauma involved with my loss as well, I can not even imagine having to walk in your shoes, Arlene. And this I would imagine be more than clear to a professional therapist. While there are some who wallow and exploit their pain, it is insensitive to rush to judgements and caution would be the better choice. My curiosity here would be not the therapists timeline but her guidelines and support through those stages. Time is a healer to be sure ... and some of us run behind the times ... and others are right on time ... and still others are ahead of the times. My advice is just be sure to deal with each stage, and recognize each step forward - advancement. Know and except, that you will never be the same and that can be a good thing. To every thing turn turn .... Take care ... Peace, Susan NP: Joni/Turbulent Indigo/Borderline Arlene wrote: > Interesting....I lost my boyfriend to suicide several years ago. At no time > did my therapist give me a time frame for grieving (I would have fired her > if she had). Grief is an individual thing. Sometimes we never get over > these things. Nothing personal, but I think that therapist needs to get > some serious education on the grieving process. Jimmy wrote: > : When I was seeing a therapist a couple of years ago, she told me that as a > : rule of thumb, for "each" year someone was a part of your life, it takes the > : same number of months for the grieving process. i.e. If you and your spouse > : or partner were together for 24 years, you could expect to be grieving for 24 > : months. This is not to say that 2 years later you would still be crying your > : eyes out constantly. It means that 2 years from now, you could see something > : that reminded you of that person and it would be perfectly natural for you to > : start crying. > : > : It made sense to me, but it was her rule of thumb, not mine. Like you said > : Mags, grief is a personal journey. > : > : Jimmy Yahoo! Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now. http://mailplus.yahoo.com
