Firstly, thanks to all for your welcoming responses. As for my personal experience with my boyfriend's suicide, which was particularly gruesome, took place in my bathroom where I had the "pleasure" of finding him, I would never have survived had it not been for my therapist at the time. And believe me, aside from this situation, she was a terrible therapist. When they took Phil out of the building in a body bag I was ready to leap out the window to join him. I continue to be traumatized. And then when 9/11 happened (I was at work 2 blocks away), all the work I thought I'd accomplished went right down with those towers. In any event, it's true that one needs to make a concerted effort to live, and to sustain hope, no matter how difficult it may seem.
----- Original Message ----- From: "Susan Guzzi" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Cc: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Wednesday, January 15, 2003 11:45 PM Subject: Re: grief njc : Hey Jimmy, : : First of all I am very happy you were able to heal and that you got what you needed :to out of : therapy. : : Thankfully I had been in therapy for years with a superb woman. Of course once I :had to support : the heroin addiction of my lover's, I had to stop my own therapy due to finances. :NEVER again, but : once upon a time.... : : But still I retained enough, to work through it, slow as it was. And you are :correct, finding : hope or having it as unfounded as it may be many days, is what kept me alive. : : But I NEVER could have achieved that in 6 months. We were soulmates, as over used as that term is : these days. And I wet through a living hell, financially, emotionally and :physically. We were : together 6 years almost to the day she died. : : I still object to her timetable, but I understand that whatever gets you through your grief is all : good. I can say that after that first year of living on the edge, and then finding :all of you, : may have been the best therapy for me. I know I have been kind of reborn here and :yet Robin is : still a big of who I am. Not to mention the part of me that died with her. : : It's all good now, it's all a part of my fabric. As a reverend said Sunday at a :service for a : friend who passed last week, "death IS a part of life." It gets easier and easier to deal with. : Turn turn ... : : And by the way Jimmy, I wondered why the hell all those blue feathers were hanging :off your ass at : fest! I figured Smurphy planted them as a prank! ;-D : : Peace, : Susan : : NPIMH: If happy little bluebirds fly above the rainbow, why oh why ... : : > Susan and Arlene, I just want to make it clear my therapist was *very* : > educated on the grieving process. She had been highly recommended, and I > went to her because : I wanted to *heal*, and she helped me very much. : > : > The grieving process can be less painful if you try to understand that loss and :grief is a : natural part of life. Learn to accept your loss and believe in yourself. : : > This process isn't for everyone. As I said before, I agree with Mags that : > grieving is one's personal journey. My journey (and sessions) finally led to HOPE. :I knew that I : would eventually reach a point where remembering would be less painful and I could :begin to look : ahead to the future and more good times. : > : > Jimmy, who is so happy now, I have blue jays flying out of my butt : Yahoo! Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now. : http://mailplus.yahoo.com
