OK here's the joke.
A ventriloquist was finding it difficult to get work in his chosen profession
so he goes to the local jobcentre to see what other kind of work is available.
Nothing much on offer except a travelling salesman job selling food for farm
animals. He decides to take it and starts to work. For the first week or so he
sells nothing then hits on the idea of using his voice-throwing skills to help
the sales pitch.
The next day he goes to a farm and asks the farmer if he would like to buy his
products. Farmer says he's happy with what he has already. The salesman asks
if the animals would prefer a change and the farmer says that he couldn't
possibly guess their opinion. Salesman suggests a test. He asks the farmer to
take him to the animals and if the animals prefer his products then he'll
reduce the price by 30%. If they don't; the farmer will have the food free.
Farmer sees himself in a no-lose situation and agrees. They go to the henhouse
and the salesman asks the hens if they like their food. Throwing his voice to
sound like a chicken, the answer suggests that the hens find the food boring.
The farmer is amazed that the hens can talk and the salesman explains that he
has a gift of making the animals' voices audible to humans. Salesman then asks
hens to try his product and then asks them what they think. 'They' reply that
they much prefer it. Farmer is astonished and agrees to buy a few sacks.
They move on to the cowshed where the same thing happens all over again.
Farmer agrees to buy the food because 'the cows' say that they prefer it. They
go to the pigsty and the same thing happens again. Salesman throws his voice,
farmer is impressed and agrees to take more bags of the food.
The salesman is really happy with his sales and is keen to clean up and asks
where the sheep are. Farmer replies that he keeps no sheep. Salesman finds
this difficult to believe and asks again. Farmer gets red in the face and
denies having sheep. Salesman looks at the barbed wire around the farmyard and
sees strands of wool. Finally he walks off towards the back of the barn and
sees some sheep grazing away quite happily. Farmer gets really nervous and
tries to pull the salesman away from the little paddock but the salesman is
not to be put off. He marches over there and just as he's about to start his
routine again the farmer grabs him by the sleeve and says, "If any of them say
I've been fucking them, they're lying bastards!".
mike
