On Saturday, Jan 25, 2003, at 10:41 Europe/London, colin wrote:
Being gay, depsite these so called liberal times, is still a difficult
life. who would choose it?(not that I would change it either). We are
still the one minority it is okay for all the others to dump on and it
is sanctioned by religion and state. We provide a valuable service for
all those sad people that need someone to hate or feel superior to.
It's not just that, but the whole gay culture thing is, in itself,
fundamentally screwed up as far as I'm concerned. For the most part,
too much emphasis is placed on sex, and not enough on love. Gay life
is littered with commitment-o-phobes, lurching from one short-term
fling to another, too scared to *feel* (no sniggering at the back),
too scared to commit.
And, of course, assuming you are predisposed to admit to your emotions,
to actually examine your feelings, to actually commit to someone should
the right situation arise, where the hell do you find them? Straight
people, for the most part, can pretty much guarantee to run across
people they like, and perhaps want to like more, through the course
of their everyday life. Gay people don't have that option open to
them in reality. So they have to go seek out other gay people through
the Internet, clubs, bars, etc, where we wind back around to the whole
sex first, "hello, do you actually have a brain or intellect" second
thing. Bollocks to that.
So, while I wouldn't change what I am (I like the male form too much
for that), I would agree with Colin that it is indeed hard, especially
if you fear spending life alone in the "deep, meaningful, loving
connection" sense.
Oh, and don't forget that gay men (in particular) have the whole
body fascism thing to deal with in spades. If you're not a complete
adonis, then you have to fall back on the stuff that really matters:
personality, humour, sensitivity, and so on. Of course, in an
environment where all *that* doesn't matter until the next morning,
if you're lucky, then it all starts to look like a vicious circle.
Which it is.
Welcome to the inner workings of my mind... :)
--Chris Marshall (a bit drunk, and a bit sensitive about this stuff)
chrisAThatstand.org (AIM: Chr15Marshall)
"If you're ever lost, I'll beat the world to finding you"
Stryngs, "Bobblehats and Beer", http://www.stryngs.com/
