stop what you're doing and hear this!!!!
there is absolutely no excuse to miss jonifest this year. most particularly
because... I HAVE JUST OBTAINED A TEN-YEAR VISA TO GO TO THE US OF FUCKING
A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm going i'm going i'm going. so if you thought you
were rid of me, think again. i'll be there and this year i'll be singing
brunnhilde's immolation in drag plus the complete mad scene from lucia the
lammermore to add to the general elegant character of the fest.
and what's this i hear? people procrastinating and not sending their
deposits! tut tut. get out those fat checkbooks now and write the darling
little checks! deposits AND donations, s'il vous plait.
as to the raffles, i'm sending the tiara i wore at the dutch royal wedding
last year. i know, i know -- it's LAST year's tiara, but i wore it only once
and besides diamonds become ANY girl. what are youze sending?
jonifest is one of the few times we can get together in the flesh and
channel ethel merman. would you miss such a thrill? no, you would NOT.
so give the girl a break, and send ashara your precious deposits, donations,
raffle tchotchkas and good vibes. at jonifest you get to kiss maggie
mcnally! you see steve polifka's hairy chest! and there's always me,
available for a hot dog and a coke! honey, think about it.
stop being so annoying, children, and get yourselves back to the garden, for
god's sake!
wallyK, scaring my housekeeper with my sudden shrieks of joy.
