Laff A Day - December 10, 1998
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Only 21 days for McBeal to disappear!
Be well,
TZ
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This has been circulating a bit, but it's so funny I just
had to run it.
Things I learned from children...
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is
not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound
puppy underwear and a superman cape.
It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four
walls of a 20 by 20-foot room.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's
already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the
movies.
If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball
shoes it does not leak - it explodes.
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.
foot house 4 inches deep.
Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a
four-year-old.
Super glue is forever.
McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jello.
VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
The fire department in San Jose has at least a 5-minute
response time.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth
worms dizzy.
It will however make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Thanks Thorn.
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Good judgment comes from experience-usually experience
which was the result of poor judgment.
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The policeman was walking his beat when he saw two men
fighting and a little boy standing alongside them crying,
"Daddy, Daddy!"
The officer pulled the two men apart and, turning to the
boy, asked, "Which one is your father, lad?"
"I don't know," the boy said, rubbing tears from his eyes.
"That's what they're fighting about!"
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All he asked for was a little good-night kiss, but she
haughtily rebuffed him with, "I don't do that sort of thing
on my first date!"
"Well," he replied with sarcasm, "how about on your last?"
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TOP FIVE REASONS ALLY MCBEAL DOESN'T PIRATE SOFTWARE
1. Software Piracy gives Ally even more angst.
2. She's wishy, she's washy, she's flirty, she's scrawny,
but she's no software pirate.
3. Software Piracy is what got Courtney Thorne Smith thrown
off of Melrose Place.
4. Duh, they're lawyers.
5. Elaine would turn her in at http://www.nopiracy.com
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