A few thoughts. First, again with the caveat that I am not familiar
with the photo-essay concept as might be interpreted by the
distinguished learned judges, I have been uncomfortable with the two-
part structure you have selected since you first mentioned it.
Without narration (as in a live slide show) (assuming that the essay
needs to stand on its own) then what ties the two halves together?
Looking at this version, I am left with the same question.
Taking the two parts separately, I think the tannery portion is good.
Good images, it tells a story, it starts wide, comes into details, it
ends with an exclamation point. I struggled to find a theme in the
second portion. At first I thought it was about commerce in the
streets. Oh, no, it is about cats. No, it is about the people in
everyday life. I guess.
My suggestions would be: a) flip the two halves; b) for the street-
scenes portion, mix the order a bit so that, for example, you move
from commerce to normal people and back to disabuse the viewer that
there is any theme but the variety of street life. My specific
ordering, using current ordinal numbers from the site, would be 8,
10, 11, 14, 9, 12, 13, 15, 1-7, 16. This sequence would have you
starting with a wide shot to establish the locale, zooming in to wide
angle street scenes, then further in to tighter shots, then back out
(with #1) to a subset of the city, then into the gritty details of
the tanning operation, ending with a tight exclamation of color (#7),
then back out to the afternoon light over the larger city to put it
all back into context again. #1 becomes the answer to my question
about what ties the two halves together. And this sequence or similar
would keep #9, but would bury it deeper; as a first detail shot in
the sequence it is too jarring, but as a middle shot it fits into the
context established.
The ordering of the halves is almost a glass half-empty vs. glass
half-full proposition. My way says: Isn't this a nice interesting
city with friendly exotic looking people going about their daily
lives. But in the background we have this nasty work that is done to
produce items of beauty. Your way says: Look at this nasty work to
produce a fine product (sub-text: and we unrepentant colonizers never
think about this side of life), but oh by the way the city does have
its charms as well. Putting the street scenes first lets the viewer
put the tannery into that context, but putting the tannery first
forces the viewer to put it into their own context. Which may be out
of synch with the second half of the essay. E.g., the second half
could just as well be street shots in London or Paris with details of
gents' shoes and ladies' handbags and schoolboys' leather day packs.
One other thought. Following my sequence and my story line, it would
be nice to have the last shot in the first sequence be another street
scene, but one with leather goods for sale in the background. I think
this was mentioned before, and you said you don't have such a shot.
So why don't you hop over on Saturday and take such a shot? Are you a
dedicated photographer or not?
Final caveat: I would like to think that I could come up with an
equivalent set of images in the same time period if I were to travel
there, but I don't have a Leica. Or your good eye.
Thanks for asking for our input.
stan
On Oct 17, 2008, at 6:07 PM, Bob W wrote:
Here's another draft of the slideshow, incorporating some suggestions
people have kindly made:
http://www.web-options.com/ARPS2/
Comments solicited.
Thanks,
Bob
From: "Bob W" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Whatever their other qualities, the RPS judges just won't even
consider them if they have gross technical faults.
How very middleagedwhitemale of them. Don't they know art
(sorry, Art) when they see it?
Outraged of Notting Hill
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