Not funny.  Take a trip to a rape clinic, then lemme know how witty
the below is.

On Dec 12, 7:50 am, wncs <[email protected]> wrote:
> Dear employees,
> Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of
> economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers
> of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be
> known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
>
> Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible
> for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons
> who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
> programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be
> RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management
> deems appropriate.
>
> Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for
> Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel
> Early Severance).
>
> Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or
> SCREWED any further by Management.
>
> Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT
> (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always
> prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you
> feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the
> attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all
> the SHIT you can handle.
>
> Sincerely,
>
> The Management
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