Hi Adam, Thanks for sharing your story. As so many stories on this list, it is at the same time both heart-wrenching and tremendously inspiring. You are a great example of how in spite of the huge obstacles we face every single day, it is still possible to pursue and achieve your dreams.
You need to realize that that is also true when it comes to personal relationships also. Yes, we all experience the averted eyes and general avoidance by most people, and it is frustrating. One thing i've come to realize is how in many cases, the problem is simply that they don't know how to deal, how to act or interact with someone with disabilities. In other words, its their problem, not specifically you at issue. Rather than take offense, i have found it helpful to try to lighten their load with (at least an attempt at) humor. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it works great! Especially, if you used to attract the chicks, you still can, i'm sure. Many others have with less (looks) than you. As far as your sense of worth goes, nobody can give that to you, but you. Others can only reinforce it. So, the first step is to accept your lot, and have pride in all you have accomplished, despite the odds. At 12:22 PM 10/28/2009, Adam Collinsworth wrote: >Hello All, >My name is Adam, I am a quad and have been for the past eleven years. Here is >my story. The life altering situation that changed my life was a spinal cord >injury that left me paralyzed from the chest down. The injury occurred on >August 9, 1998, five days before football camp was suppose to start for the >upcoming season. I was at a party and had been drinking heavy and I dove into >the pool there and hit my head on the bottom and broke my neck at the C3-C4 >vertebrates. I was slated to be the starting linebacker for the third >straight year at Thomas More College where I had a good chance to be a >Division 3 All-American. I spent four months in the hospital where I had >numerous feeding and breathing tubes just so I could stay alive. This injury >left me unable to feed myself, bath myself, and breathe by myself. When I left >the hospital I had relearned how to breathe and talk; I still couldnt use any >of the mobility of my arms so I drove my wheelchair with my chin. As of right ! now I drive my wheelchair with my arm and I have no breathing problems, but I still cant use my hands or fingers. The accident had a devastating effect on my life because I can no longer be independent and I am limited in what I had planned to accomplish in my life. Before the accident happened I had planned on becoming a schoolteacher and coach, but with the limitations I could no longer pursue the teaching job. The latter of the two I have been performing for the last ten years of my life. The degree of difficulty to overcome this obstacle has been extremely high and in some cases has been overbearing. I have still managed to accomplish some things even with my limitations. In the spring of 1999 I returned to school and attended two classes where I scored a 4.0. In the fall of 2001 I graduated with a degree in business administration and an overall grade point average above 3.0. Also in 1999 I returned to the sport I love and began coaching, I was an assistant linebacker coa! ch and defensive coordinator for Thomas Mores junior varsity team. The football team had a combined record of 28-5 since the start of the 1999 season when I began to help coaching. I have since moved to high school, but I still have the same passion as I had before. I also do a little substitute teaching to go along with coaching. Now that you know my story I was hoping that you could help me with a couple issues. >I feel like I am being punished and I am serving a sentence for something Ive >did in this life. I mean I try to get the most out of life, but I just cant >stop thinking that there has to be something better after this life. Do any >of you have a companion? If you dont how do you deal with depression of >being alone? I just feel so isolated sometimes that it is hard to bear. I >have tried the on-line dating thing but no woman wants to date a guy in a >wheelchair. I just feel so undesirable. Before I got hurt I had no trouble >getting girls, but now after 11 years of being in purgatory girls dont even >look at me, they look past me and most times wont even make eye contact. I >feel like I have nothing else to offer or gain from life, how do I get that >sense of worth back? I feel like a disappointment to my family and more of a >burden rather than a part of the family. Any advice would help. > >Thanks, >Adam > >
