that's an issue: that people are people. I have a friend who's been talking for weeks to a gay man about that world. She's learned some interesting things from him, but I did caution her that he's one man, with one black man's view of gay life in Atlanta, and can't possibly speak for all gays. For one thing, there are real issues and differences between black and white gay men in Atlanta. For another, he comes from a traditional Southern, Christian, black background that may shape and influence his behavior and feelings way differently than a gay man with a completely different background. Given his upbringing, for example, i can detect in his words--even third hand from her--a bit of guilt, defensiveness, even anger at the way he sometimes has to conduct his life.
To your point, I cautioned her that he may have some hangups coloring his perceptions or experiences, and not to use just one man's views as the definitive description of gay life. ----- Original Message ----- From: "Adrianne Brennan" <adrianne.bren...@gmail.com> To: scifinoir2@yahoogroups.com Sent: Sunday, April 4, 2010 1:20:39 AM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern Subject: Re: [scifinoir2] "True Blood" Star Pacquin Comes Out on Video I dunno. The way I see it is this: either you're in love with someone or you're not. To say that someone "needs" something outside of a relationship is essentially to say that they're incapable of being monogamous. Maybe you've run into some real jerks who are all about the style and not about the substance. In any case, people are jerks, not bisexuals. ~ "Where love and magic meet" ~ http://www.adriannebrennan.com Experience the magic of the Dark Moon series: http://www.adriannebrennan.com/books.html#darkmoon Dare to take The Oath in this erotic fantasy series: http://www.adriannebrennan.com/books.html#the_oath The future of psychic sex - Dawn of the Seraphs (m/m): http://www.adriannebrennan.com/dawnoftheseraphs.html On Sun, Apr 4, 2010 at 1:18 AM, Keith Johnson < keithbjohn...@comcast.net > wrote: As always, i appreciate your understanding and patience. I think your attitude is different from others I've read on this subject. Not to get too indelicate, but when I say there are different "needs", there are--ahem--anatomical differences, biological differences, between genders. I'm pretty sure that results in different "experiences", and I can't provide the same in toto as a woman. Other things I've read, other people I've known in this situation, suggest that's an issue. But as you say, it's a big world full of all kinds of people, so it doesn't have to apply to you. ----- Original Message ----- From: "Adrianne Brennan" < adrianne.bren...@gmail.com > To: scifinoir2@yahoogroups.com Sent: Sunday, April 4, 2010 1:04:13 AM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern Subject: Re: [scifinoir2] "True Blood" Star Pacquin Comes Out on Video On Sat, Apr 3, 2010 at 9:53 AM, Keith Johnson < keithbjohn...@comcast.net > wrote: I didn't mean to imply that "y'all" are not monogamous, sorry if it came off that way. That ain't the topic at all and wasn't my concern. Faith and fidelity aren't based on sexual preference. As for "foot in mouth", rest assured that from me you'll get just frank open questions that might expose some ignorance about topics, but never judgement or condemnation. S'all good. :) I just have to deal with a lot of bi-prejudice from straights AND gays, and it can find me on the defensive sometimes. But if I desired something from men, there'd be nothing my wife had that could fill that need. In such a case, can a person be satisfied with effectively half the equation for decades on end? But that's what I can't wrap my brain around: why would someone desire something from a *gender*? That to me is like saying "Oh, I miss being with a blonde versus a brunette!" I am attracted to people, not gender. There's nothing missing that I would crave elsewhere unless the relationship itself was unfulfilling. Perhaps not all bisexuals are like me, but at the same time not all bisexuals "need" a gender. And it's why I tend to avoid the label "bisexual" altogether. It also implies a polarity of gender I do not feel exists, but that's a whole other topic. Hope the foot didn't get implanted in mouth on this! Nah, I hear ya. I used to feel similarly until I understood the sexuality spectrum better, and that what people "need" is typically found in the person themselves, not in their pants. :) ~ "Where love and magic meet" ~ http://www.adriannebrennan.com Experience the magic of the Dark Moon series: http://www.adriannebrennan.com/books.html#darkmoon Dare to take The Oath in this erotic fantasy series: http://www.adriannebrennan.com/books.html#the_oath The future of psychic sex - Dawn of the Seraphs (m/m): http://www.adriannebrennan.com/dawnoftheseraphs.html
