I was in a triad for about 15 years, and a poly grouping for about 3 so it can be done. Poly folks still have all of the same issues in relationships that other people have, but for the most part they are more willing to have a dialog about the sexual component of the relationship.
On Tue, Apr 6, 2010 at 2:26 PM, bruce harden <[email protected]>wrote: > > > live in seattle and that seems to be tghe cach all phrase now. Me i'm > still in the camp of you're just damn greedy with a side helping of boy > could i have some of that.. but of the 3 situations that i know of they've > been stable for more than 2years now. which is something to feel good about > > On Sat, Apr 3, 2010 at 10:23 PM, Keith Johnson > <[email protected]>wrote: > >> >> >> Fascinating. >> I really wonder if poly relationships can truly ever be stable? As you >> say, there are those who enter into them initially simply for the thrill, >> for the excitement. And, once given the permission or chance to find NRE, >> some would just become junkies of the excitement of finding new thrills all >> the time. Seems to me it'd make it hard to build the bedrock relationship >> of trust and true love --something not based on the physical, lust, new >> thrills--that are required for a decades-long relationship. >> I'm assuming here the goal is a lifetime partnership, which of course it >> may not be for everyone. and if so, better to acknowledge and realize it. >> Though a Christian with traditional views of marriage, I tell my friends all >> the time that there are two things no person should feel obligated to do: >> Get married, and have children. >> >> >> ----- Original Message ----- >> From: "Adrianne Brennan" <[email protected]> >> To: [email protected] >> Sent: Sunday, April 4, 2010 1:05:56 AM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern >> Subject: Re: [scifinoir2] "True Blood" Star Pacquin Comes Out on Video >> >> >> >> I have friends who are poly, and they manage to work it out nicely. I >> personally think that an equal triad is the most stable poly relationship >> out there, and with few exceptions they seem to thrive on relationship drama >> with one person bouncing to a new person repeatedly for the "NRE" (new >> relationship energy) that they crave when they get bored with someone else. >> >> I don't mean to be cynical; there are a lot of genuine, stable poly >> relationships out there. But I also have met people who are poly for all the >> wrong reasons and really ought to either be called "swingers" or "casual >> daters". >> >> >> ~ "Where love and magic meet" ~ >> http://www.adriannebrennan.com >> Experience the magic of the Dark Moon series: >> http://www.adriannebrennan.com/books.html#darkmoon >> Dare to take The Oath in this erotic fantasy series: >> http://www.adriannebrennan.com/books.html#the_oath >> The future of psychic sex - Dawn of the Seraphs (m/m): >> http://www.adriannebrennan.com/dawnoftheseraphs.html >> >> >> On Sat, Apr 3, 2010 at 11:51 PM, Mr. Worf <[email protected]>wrote: >> >>> >>> >>> The term open relationship is not what I was talking about. Open >>> relationship implies that the partner is "sleeping around." Which is not >>> what I was talking about. That is more like swinging which is sex without >>> emotional attachments. >>> >>> I was talking about the creation of a triad (A couple plus one) >>> relationship where there is a steady woman for Pacquin and she remains >>> married. Poly (in its various forms) create a relationship bond between >>> multiple people. A couple examples of this was used in scifi recently. >>> Dr.Flox from Enterprise, and the teacher on Caprica. >>> >>> Basically the person spends time with another person other than her >>> husband on an emotional level and may or may not include sex. >>> >>> With the teacher on Caprica they are all married. That is a polygyndry >>> relationship or group marriage. >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> On Sat, Apr 3, 2010 at 8:29 PM, Keith Johnson <[email protected] >>> > wrote: >>> >>>> >>>> >>>> Oh, I get that works for some people. I'm just from the "one person at a >>>> time/one person for life" school... >>>> Personally I think unneeded complications can enter when people start >>>> into sharing partners, having so-called "open" relationships, etc. But >>>> again, that's just not my thing. >>>> >>>> >>>> ----- Original Message ----- >>>> From: "Mr. Worf" <[email protected]> >>>> To: [email protected] >>>> Sent: Saturday, April 3, 2010 11:06:05 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada >>>> Eastern >>>> Subject: Re: [scifinoir2] "True Blood" Star Pacquin Comes Out on Video >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> Sexual attraction does not equate to love, however it is possible to >>>> love more than one person at the same time. >>>> >>>> On Sat, Apr 3, 2010 at 5:02 PM, Keith Johnson < >>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> I'm not sure if that is normal or not, but it was my point, in cases >>>>> where this is desired. My personal belief is in long term marriage for me >>>>> and one other person. Hence, I'd be concerned if getting with someone who >>>>> finds someone on the other side of the fence attractive: if those needs >>>>> grow >>>>> and must be met, that relationship to me is over. >>>>> My views, for myself. This is no advice, judgement, or disapproval for >>>>> anyone else's lifestyle... >>>>> >>>>> ----- Original Message ----- >>>>> From: "Mr. Worf" <[email protected]> >>>>> To: [email protected] >>>>> Sent: Saturday, April 3, 2010 6:18:05 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern >>>>> Subject: Re: [scifinoir2] "True Blood" Star Pacquin Comes Out on Video >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> This is something that needs to be discussed at the beginning of the >>>>> relationship so there aren't any surprises. If one's partner is bi then >>>>> there should be arrangements made that allows him or her to be with a >>>>> person >>>>> that they are interested in outside of the marriage without reprisal. >>>>> >>>>> On Sat, Apr 3, 2010 at 7:26 AM, Keith Johnson < >>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> There's insecurity, true. But, as I asked in my long post to Adrianne, >>>>>> if a straight person were to get into a relationship with a bi person, >>>>>> is it >>>>>> realistic or fair to expect that bi person to be happy forever? Let's >>>>>> leave >>>>>> judgement and prejudices about gay or bi promiscuity out of it, as I >>>>>> don't >>>>>> subscribe to those thoughts. >>>>>> What I'm saying is, if my mate finds women as attractive as men, can >>>>>> she really be happy with just me for the rest of her life? I believe in >>>>>> marrying for life; again, not a judgement or moral standing. It's just my >>>>>> preference. I absolutely think marriage isn't for everyone. But if I'm >>>>>> in it >>>>>> for the next 40 or 50 years, can I be assured my wife, who is bi, will be >>>>>> cool living the straight life only for that long? Isn't that asking her >>>>>> to >>>>>> deny a whole half of her needs? >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- >>>>>> From: "Mr. Worf" <[email protected]> >>>>>> To: [email protected] >>>>>> Sent: Friday, April 2, 2010 8:39:59 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern >>>>>> Subject: Re: [scifinoir2] "True Blood" Star Pacquin Comes Out on Video >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> What you are talking about is insecurity. The fear is that the person >>>>>> who is bi will leave the other person for someone of the same sex. (ie. >>>>>> they >>>>>> are really gay) That is a myth. The flip side of that is there another >>>>>> myth >>>>>> that the person that is gay is secretly straight. Both cloud the real >>>>>> issue >>>>>> of insecurity. >>>>>> >>>>>> The cure for insecurity is trust. I don't expect folks in this group >>>>>> to totally understand what I'm talking about because this group isn't an >>>>>> alternative sexuality one, but I know what I'm talking about. >>>>>> >>>>>> On Fri, Apr 2, 2010 at 2:30 PM, Keith Johnson < >>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Sorry, not mine. I've never understood why anyone would want to be >>>>>>> with someone who's not totally "committed". It's hard enough to have to >>>>>>> keep tabs on an attractive, famous person being faithful to you on one >>>>>>> side >>>>>>> of the fence. I wouldn't want to be worried about someone being >>>>>>> attracted to >>>>>>> both sides. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> But I hear what you're saying. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> By the way, I've known some guys who've been involved in those >>>>>>> situations, and no matter how cool and with-it they claimed to be ahead >>>>>>> of >>>>>>> time, they always had issues when the women sometimes enjoyed each other >>>>>>> without the dude. It was a combination of things. One, once the dude's >>>>>>> passion dies down and he's thinking again, he always freaks out a bit >>>>>>> when >>>>>>> realizing this person is actually enjoying being with someone of the >>>>>>> same >>>>>>> sex. And two, they actually weren't as cool about sharing their mate >>>>>>> with >>>>>>> someone as they thought, even though they thought it would be less >>>>>>> difficult >>>>>>> with another woman. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- >>>>>>> From: "Mr. Worf" <[email protected]> >>>>>>> To: [email protected] >>>>>>> Sent: Friday, April 2, 2010 3:00:17 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern >>>>>>> Subject: Re: [scifinoir2] "True Blood" Star Pacquin Comes Out on >>>>>>> Video >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> She's bi. Not gay. She still does men. Why would they be >>>>>>> disappointed? This would fuel some men's fantasies of a 3way. :) >>>>>>> >>>>>>> On Fri, Apr 2, 2010 at 10:27 AM, Keith Johnson < >>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Didn't know or even suspect this about Pacquin. I'm sure there >>>>>>>> will be a lot of disappointed men out there now! >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> As for Ricky Martin: file it in the "Worst Kept Secret" folder. I >>>>>>>> think Clay Aiken's dossier was already in there... >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> *************************************************** >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 'True Blood' Star Anna Paquin Uses Surprising Medium to Reveal >>>>>>>> Sexual Orientation By Mike Ryan | Thursday, April 1, 2010, 5:04 PM >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Anna Paquin >>>>>>>> Jordan Strauss/WireImage >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Hot on the heels of Ricky Martin's >>>>>>>> announcement<http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/stopthepresses/132331/ricky-martin-i-am-a-fortunate-homosexual-man/>on >>>>>>>> his personal blog that he's gay, "True >>>>>>>> Blood <http://tv.yahoo.com/true-blood/show/39147>" star Anna >>>>>>>> Paquin<http://tv.yahoo.com/anna-paquin/contributor/29335> used >>>>>>>> an unusual >>>>>>>> medium<http://omg.yahoo.com/news/anna-paquin-i-m-bisexual/38428>of her >>>>>>>> own to announce that she is bisexual. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Alongside celebrities such as Elton >>>>>>>> John<http://tv.yahoo.com/elton-john/contributor/59894>, >>>>>>>> Clay Aiken <http://tv.yahoo.com/clay-aiken/contributor/1207678>, >>>>>>>> and Wanda Sykes <http://tv.yahoo.com/wanda-sykes/contributor/52103>, >>>>>>>> Paquin declared her sexual >>>>>>>> orientation<http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/03/exclusive-true-blood-star-reveals-true-self-anna-paquin-says-shes-bisexual>in >>>>>>>> a public service announcement for Cyndi >>>>>>>> Lauper <http://tv.yahoo.com/cyndi-lauper/contributor/37182>'s Give >>>>>>>> a Damn Campaign <http://www.wegiveadamn.org/upgrade/>, which >>>>>>>> promotes equality for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender >>>>>>>> community. >>>>>>>> Two videos were shot in Los Angeles on January 30 and were released >>>>>>>> April 1 >>>>>>>> at 9 a.m. EST. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> What makes 27-year-old Paquin's spot particularly surprising is >>>>>>>> that, unlike some of the other openly gay celebrities involved in the >>>>>>>> campaign, the actor had never before discussed being bisexual. >>>>>>>> According to >>>>>>>> RadarOnline.com, even people at the shoot were surprised when Paquin >>>>>>>> made >>>>>>>> the revelation. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> A second PSA features "Sex and the >>>>>>>> City<http://tv.yahoo.com/sex-and-the-city/show/205>" >>>>>>>> actor Cynthia >>>>>>>> Nixon<http://tv.yahoo.com/cynthia-nixon/contributor/771088>(who came >>>>>>>> out in 2006 <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cynthia_Nixon>), Jason >>>>>>>> Mraz, Kim >>>>>>>> Kardashian<http://tv.yahoo.com/kim-kardashian/contributor/2220832>, >>>>>>>> and Sharon <http://tv.yahoo.com/sharon-osbourne/contributor/790868>and >>>>>>>> Kelly >>>>>>>> Osbourne <http://tv.yahoo.com/kelly-osbourne/contributor/790850>. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Paquin follows an interesting trend of celebrities forgoing the >>>>>>>> traditional "coming out" People magazine interview -- à la Clay Aiken >>>>>>>> and Lance >>>>>>>> Bass <http://tv.yahoo.com/lance-bass/contributor/49638> -- and >>>>>>>> instead controlling the message themselves. Ricky Martin buried his >>>>>>>> announcement at the bottom of an otherwise banal blog post, and now >>>>>>>> Paquin >>>>>>>> is using her announcement to drive attention to a cause she supports. >>>>>>>> So >>>>>>>> much attention, in fact, that servers at wegiveadamn.org crashed >>>>>>>> shortly >>>>>>>> after<http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/04/video-gay-rights-website-crashes-after-anna-paquin-bisexual-bombshell>the >>>>>>>> news broke of Paquin's statement. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Paquin -- who at age 11 became the second-youngest Oscar winner in >>>>>>>> history when she won for best supporting actress for "The Piano" -- >>>>>>>> has been >>>>>>>> notoriously shy about discussing her private life and has never before >>>>>>>> discussed her sexuality. In 2007, she was romantically >>>>>>>> linked<http://omg.yahoo.com/news/anna-paquin-i-m-bisexual/38428>with >>>>>>>> actor Kieran >>>>>>>> Culkin <http://tv.yahoo.com/kieran-culkin/contributor/32918>. In >>>>>>>> August 2009, she and "True Blood" costar Stephen >>>>>>>> Moyer<http://tv.yahoo.com/stephen-moyer/contributor/44265>announced >>>>>>>> their engagement. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> The Give a Damn campaign is part of Cyndi Lauper's True Colors Fund >>>>>>>> (named after her popular 1986 song and album). Lauper is currently >>>>>>>> promoting the >>>>>>>> cause<http://www.nbc.com/the-apprentice/contestants/cyndi-lauper/charity.shtml>during >>>>>>>> her turn on the Donald >>>>>>>> Trump <http://tv.yahoo.com/donald-trump/contributor/1028501>-judged >>>>>>>> show "Celebrity >>>>>>>> Apprentice<http://tv.yahoo.com/the-apprentice/show/35539>." >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> -- >>>>>>> Celebrating 10 years of bringing diversity to perversity! >>>>>>> Mahogany at: >>>>>>> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mahogany_pleasures_of_darkness/ >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> -- >>>>>> Celebrating 10 years of bringing diversity to perversity! >>>>>> Mahogany at: >>>>>> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mahogany_pleasures_of_darkness/ >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> -- >>>>> Celebrating 10 years of bringing diversity to perversity! >>>>> Mahogany at: >>>>> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mahogany_pleasures_of_darkness/ >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> -- >>>> Celebrating 10 years of bringing diversity to perversity! >>>> Mahogany at: >>>> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mahogany_pleasures_of_darkness/ >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> >>> >>> >>> -- >>> Celebrating 10 years of bringing diversity to perversity! >>> Mahogany at: >>> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mahogany_pleasures_of_darkness/ >>> >>> >>> >> > > > > -- Celebrating 10 years of bringing diversity to perversity! Mahogany at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mahogany_pleasures_of_darkness/
