Fascinating. I really wonder if poly relationships can truly ever be stable? As you say, there are those who enter into them initially simply for the thrill, for the excitement. And, once given the permission or chance to find NRE, some would just become junkies of the excitement of finding new thrills all the time. Seems to me it'd make it hard to build the bedrock relationship of trust and true love --something not based on the physical, lust, new thrills--that are required for a decades-long relationship. I'm assuming here the goal is a lifetime partnership, which of course it may not be for everyone. and if so, better to acknowledge and realize it. Though a Christian with traditional views of marriage, I tell my friends all the time that there are two things no person should feel obligated to do: Get married, and have children.
----- Original Message ----- From: "Adrianne Brennan" <adrianne.bren...@gmail.com> To: scifinoir2@yahoogroups.com Sent: Sunday, April 4, 2010 1:05:56 AM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern Subject: Re: [scifinoir2] "True Blood" Star Pacquin Comes Out on Video I have friends who are poly, and they manage to work it out nicely. I personally think that an equal triad is the most stable poly relationship out there, and with few exceptions they seem to thrive on relationship drama with one person bouncing to a new person repeatedly for the "NRE" (new relationship energy) that they crave when they get bored with someone else. I don't mean to be cynical; there are a lot of genuine, stable poly relationships out there. But I also have met people who are poly for all the wrong reasons and really ought to either be called "swingers" or "casual daters". ~ "Where love and magic meet" ~ http://www.adriannebrennan.com Experience the magic of the Dark Moon series: http://www.adriannebrennan.com/books.html#darkmoon Dare to take The Oath in this erotic fantasy series: http://www.adriannebrennan.com/books.html#the_oath The future of psychic sex - Dawn of the Seraphs (m/m): http://www.adriannebrennan.com/dawnoftheseraphs.html On Sat, Apr 3, 2010 at 11:51 PM, Mr. Worf < hellomahog...@gmail.com > wrote: The term open relationship is not what I was talking about. Open relationship implies that the partner is "sleeping around." Which is not what I was talking about. That is more like swinging which is sex without emotional attachments. I was talking about the creation of a triad (A couple plus one) relationship where there is a steady woman for Pacquin and she remains married. Poly (in its various forms) create a relationship bond between multiple people. A couple examples of this was used in scifi recently. Dr.Flox from Enterprise, and the teacher on Caprica. Basically the person spends time with another person other than her husband on an emotional level and may or may not include sex. With the teacher on Caprica they are all married. That is a polygyndry relationship or group marriage. On Sat, Apr 3, 2010 at 8:29 PM, Keith Johnson < keithbjohn...@comcast.net > wrote: Oh, I get that works for some people. I'm just from the "one person at a time/one person for life" school... Personally I think unneeded complications can enter when people start into sharing partners, having so-called "open" relationships, etc. But again, that's just not my thing. ----- Original Message ----- From: "Mr. Worf" < hellomahog...@gmail.com > To: scifinoir2@yahoogroups.com Sent: Saturday, April 3, 2010 11:06:05 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern Subject: Re: [scifinoir2] "True Blood" Star Pacquin Comes Out on Video Sexual attraction does not equate to love, however it is possible to love more than one person at the same time. On Sat, Apr 3, 2010 at 5:02 PM, Keith Johnson < keithbjohn...@comcast.net > wrote: I'm not sure if that is normal or not, but it was my point, in cases where this is desired. My personal belief is in long term marriage for me and one other person. Hence, I'd be concerned if getting with someone who finds someone on the other side of the fence attractive: if those needs grow and must be met, that relationship to me is over. My views, for myself. This is no advice, judgement, or disapproval for anyone else's lifestyle... ----- Original Message ----- From: "Mr. Worf" < hellomahog...@gmail.com > To: scifinoir2@yahoogroups.com Sent: Saturday, April 3, 2010 6:18:05 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern Subject: Re: [scifinoir2] "True Blood" Star Pacquin Comes Out on Video This is something that needs to be discussed at the beginning of the relationship so there aren't any surprises. If one's partner is bi then there should be arrangements made that allows him or her to be with a person that they are interested in outside of the marriage without reprisal. On Sat, Apr 3, 2010 at 7:26 AM, Keith Johnson < keithbjohn...@comcast.net > wrote: There's insecurity, true. But, as I asked in my long post to Adrianne, if a straight person were to get into a relationship with a bi person, is it realistic or fair to expect that bi person to be happy forever? Let's leave judgement and prejudices about gay or bi promiscuity out of it, as I don't subscribe to those thoughts. What I'm saying is, if my mate finds women as attractive as men, can she really be happy with just me for the rest of her life? I believe in marrying for life; again, not a judgement or moral standing. It's just my preference. I absolutely think marriage isn't for everyone. But if I'm in it for the next 40 or 50 years, can I be assured my wife, who is bi, will be cool living the straight life only for that long? Isn't that asking her to deny a whole half of her needs? ----- Original Message ----- From: "Mr. Worf" < hellomahog...@gmail.com > To: scifinoir2@yahoogroups.com Sent: Friday, April 2, 2010 8:39:59 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern Subject: Re: [scifinoir2] "True Blood" Star Pacquin Comes Out on Video What you are talking about is insecurity. The fear is that the person who is bi will leave the other person for someone of the same sex. (ie. they are really gay) That is a myth. The flip side of that is there another myth that the person that is gay is secretly straight. Both cloud the real issue of insecurity. The cure for insecurity is trust. I don't expect folks in this group to totally understand what I'm talking about because this group isn't an alternative sexuality one, but I know what I'm talking about. On Fri, Apr 2, 2010 at 2:30 PM, Keith Johnson < keithbjohn...@comcast.net > wrote: Sorry, not mine. I've never understood why anyone would want to be with someone who's not totally "committed". It's hard enough to have to keep tabs on an attractive, famous person being faithful to you on one side of the fence. I wouldn't want to be worried about someone being attracted to both sides. But I hear what you're saying. By the way, I've known some guys who've been involved in those situations, and no matter how cool and with-it they claimed to be ahead of time, they always had issues when the women sometimes enjoyed each other without the dude. It was a combination of things. One, once the dude's passion dies down and he's thinking again, he always freaks out a bit when realizing this person is actually enjoying being with someone of the same sex. And two, they actually weren't as cool about sharing their mate with someone as they thought, even though they thought it would be less difficult with another woman. ----- Original Message ----- From: "Mr. Worf" < hellomahog...@gmail.com > To: scifinoir2@yahoogroups.com Sent: Friday, April 2, 2010 3:00:17 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern Subject: Re: [scifinoir2] "True Blood" Star Pacquin Comes Out on Video She's bi. Not gay. She still does men. Why would they be disappointed? This would fuel some men's fantasies of a 3way. :) On Fri, Apr 2, 2010 at 10:27 AM, Keith Johnson < keithbjohn...@comcast.net > wrote: Didn't know or even suspect this about Pacquin. I'm sure there will be a lot of disappointed men out there now! As for Ricky Martin: file it in the "Worst Kept Secret" folder. I think Clay Aiken's dossier was already in there... *************************************************** 'True Blood' Star Anna Paquin Uses Surprising Medium to Reveal Sexual Orientation By Mike Ryan | Thursday, April 1, 2010, 5:04 PM Anna Paquin Jordan Strauss/WireImage Hot on the heels of Ricky Martin's announcement on his personal blog that he's gay, " True Blood " star Anna Paquin used an unusual medium of her own to announce that she is bisexual. Alongside celebrities such as Elton John , Clay Aiken , and Wanda Sykes , Paquin declared her sexual orientation in a public service announcement for Cyndi Lauper 's Give a Damn Campaign , which promotes equality for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community. Two videos were shot in Los Angeles on January 30 and were released April 1 at 9 a.m. EST. What makes 27-year-old Paquin's spot particularly surprising is that, unlike some of the other openly gay celebrities involved in the campaign, the actor had never before discussed being bisexual. According to RadarOnline.com, even people at the shoot were surprised when Paquin made the revelation. A second PSA features " Sex and the City " actor Cynthia Nixon (who came out in 2006 ), Jason Mraz, Kim Kardashian , and Sharon and Kelly Osbourne . Paquin follows an interesting trend of celebrities forgoing the traditional "coming out" People magazine interview -- à la Clay Aiken and Lance Bass -- and instead controlling the message themselves. Ricky Martin buried his announcement at the bottom of an otherwise banal blog post, and now Paquin is using her announcement to drive attention to a cause she supports. So much attention, in fact, that servers at wegiveadamn.org crashed shortly after the news broke of Paquin's statement. Paquin -- who at age 11 became the second-youngest Oscar winner in history when she won for best supporting actress for "The Piano" -- has been notoriously shy about discussing her private life and has never before discussed her sexuality. In 2007, she was romantically linked with actor Kieran Culkin . In August 2009, she and "True Blood" costar Stephen Moyer announced their engagement. The Give a Damn campaign is part of Cyndi Lauper's True Colors Fund (named after her popular 1986 song and album). Lauper is currently promoting the cause during her turn on the Donald Trump -judged show " Celebrity Apprentice ." -- Celebrating 10 years of bringing diversity to perversity! Mahogany at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mahogany_pleasures_of_darkness/ -- Celebrating 10 years of bringing diversity to perversity! Mahogany at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mahogany_pleasures_of_darkness/ -- Celebrating 10 years of bringing diversity to perversity! Mahogany at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mahogany_pleasures_of_darkness/ -- Celebrating 10 years of bringing diversity to perversity! Mahogany at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mahogany_pleasures_of_darkness/ -- Celebrating 10 years of bringing diversity to perversity! Mahogany at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mahogany_pleasures_of_darkness/