Re: [Goanet] RIP: Ali Hassan Mwinyi

[Francis Rodrigues]

[A close-up portrait of an African man with a serious expression. He had a 
round face and wore a mustache and was looking off to the left. He had on a 
pinstriped open-collared shirt.]
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/29/world/africa/ali-hassan-mwinyi-dead.html
[https://static01.nyt.com/images/2024/03/01/multimedia/29-Mwinyi-1-cfhq-print1/29-Mwinyi-1-cfhq-print1-facebookJumbo-v2.jpg]
Ali Hassan Mwinyi, Former President of Tanzania, Dies at 
98
Handpicked by his socialist predecessor, Julius K. Nyerere, Mr. Mwinyi was 
credited with reforms, among them permitting the sale of mobile phones and 
computers.
www.nytimes.com


From: tgo...@googlegroups.com  on behalf of Frederick 
Noronha 
Sent: March 1, 2024 1:59 PM
To: Romelino Correia 
Cc: Goans ; Goanet 
Subject: Re: RIP: Ali Hassan Mwinyi

Was he a good guy? Like Nyerere?

On Fri, 1 Mar 2024 at 23:09, Romelino Correia 
mailto:romelinocorr...@gmail.com>> wrote:
May Ali Hassan Mwinyi''s Soul rest in Peace

On Thu, Feb 29, 2024, 8:48 PM 'Mervyn Lobo' via Tanzanite 2020 
mailto:tgo...@googlegroups.com>> wrote:


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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY - No. 11: WEEKLY HUMOR

[Francis Rodrigues]

 DEAR AUNTY - No. 11:  WEEKLY TOP 12:
 ___

1. DEAR AUNTY,
This dumb guy in school brushed my lips in PE, now he wants me. Help! Sally.
...
Dear Sally:  Never let a kiss fool you, or a fool kiss you !
___
2. DEAR AUNTY,
I challenge you to do an English-Konkani-Hindi "Knock Knock" joke ! Poonam.

Dear Poonam:   "Knock! Knock!"."Who's there?"..."Mai !"
  "Mai who ?"..."Arrree,.."Mai pagal who !"
___
3. DEAR AUNTY,
At Goa Su-raj we fight for police reform, uniform reform, political reform, 
ghantti reform, tax reform, sex reform - any other reform for us? Floriano.
..
Dear Floriano:Chloroform ?
___
4. DEAR AUNTY,
This girl I hate in school was badly wounded in a fall. Now Mum wants me to 
visit her in hospital ! I can't stand her, or her wounds. What to do ?  JoJo
..
Dear JoJo:   Cry over her wounds so you can get salt in them !
___
5. DEAR AUNTY,
What's the difference between my question and you cock-eyed Aunty ?Z.
...
Dear Z: One's a query with an answer,the other an aunt,sir with a queer eye!
___
6. DEAR AUNTY,
After Sunday service I enjoy a good steak (mass). But my girlfriend is veg, 
people say sprinkle salt (mitt) to disguise the smell. What to do ?   Roy.
.
Dear Roy:   Why don't you 'mitt' her after the 'mass' ?
___
7. DEAR AUNTY,
Since one year I cannot hear in my left ear. Now my right ear too is giving 
me lots of trouble, I'm become complete berro. What should I do ? DF.

Dear DF:  You should have gone to the doctor one 'ear' ago !
___
8. DEAR AUNTY,
I love your 'Konkani Daffynitions. Our original Goans'kunnbi', are very fond 
of their 'ambil' porridge. Can you give English daffynitions of both ?  Joe.
.
Dear Joe:Kunnbi: opposite of could be!Ambil: I'm William !
___
9. DEAR AUNTY,
'Scuse me, I've often wondered, how did the Anjuna Flea market start?  Ingo
..
Dear Ingo: From scratch.
___
10. DEAR AUNTY,
High Court censures water shortages - excellent news !! Please give me some 
queries about Goans' water problems to ask PWD in Assembly.  Mickey Pacheco.
.
Dear Mr. Pacheco:   'We can't even Goan wash-up, water we Goan to do ??'
___
11. DEAR AUNTY,
We build row-houses at Colva. Would you like to see a CD model home ? Talak
...
Dear Talak:  Sure !   What time does he finish modelling ?
___
12. DEAR AUNTY,
OK, if you're so good, do an English-Konkani "Knock-Knock" joke !Cecil
...
Dear Cecil: "Knock! Knock !"..."Konn ?"..."I scream !"
   "I scream konn ?"..."Arree,..ice cream cone, bis rupia don !"
___
Disclaimer: No personal replies. Post all problems online.'Goan Life' 
material all original & copyright. Forward with due acknowledgement:-))


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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY - No. 12: WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.
---
 DEAR AUNTY - No. 12:  WEEKLY TOP 12:
 ___

1. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm bhatkar. I captain. I need 10 Bir-ancul aunties like you to complete my 
Bhatkars Football team for next World Cup. Will you join ?Bhatkar Lusas.
.
Dear Bhatkar: Sorry, I can't be one of your ten-aunts! No Bir-aunt yourself?
___
2. DEAR AUNTY,
"Veni-Vidi-Vici" is famous! Is it Latin/Konkani & what does it mean? Venita.

Dear Venita:  "Booze & fags helps you to fish !"(V=F = Feni-Fidi-Fishy!)
___
3. DEAR AUNTY,
My friend's fiancee crashed his bachelor stag party! All the guests screamed 
"Oh see, oh hell", "Oh see, oh 'ell !"  Were they cursing her? Nouro
...
Dear Nouro:  No, they were screaming "O.C.O.L. / O.C.O.L. !" ...(ocol=bride)
___
4. DEAR AUNTY,
You're so hilarious ! Do another English-Konkani "Knock-Knock" joke !  Cecil
...
Dear Cecil:"Knock! Knock !"."Konn ?"."Pop!"
   "Pop konn ?"..."Arree,..pop corn hain, chodvam line!"
__
5. DEAR AUNTY,
Hey mana, I understand you were Dr. Willy's "Phone a Friend" in "Kaun Banega 
Crorepati!" Tell me, after Dr. Willy phoned you, what did Amitabh say?  Jaya
..
Dear Jaya: He asked him "Is that your fine old aunt,sir ?"
_
6. DEAR AUNTY,
Can you suggest 1-2 people to help me organise All-Goa Flower Show?  Miguel.

Dear Miguel:   Mrs. ROSE.ario and Mr. FERN.andes.or, just ask Roseferns!
_
7. DEAR AUNTY,
Christian Ronaldo's despicable act on Rooney shamed him around the world. 
Even Man Utd. and nobody in Europe wants him. Can you help him?   Scolari.
.
Caro Scolari: Only place that might take him now maybe Ur.a.guay !

8. DEAR AUNTY,
Adam says Eve was made in Goa ! Where, which bone, from where ?   Aires.
...
Dear Aires: 3 questions - 1 answerRib-andar  !
___
9. DEAR AUNTY,
You think your Romi Lippi can defeat our mighty Devanagiri?  Nakacho Bhembro

Mogall Bhembrea:  If Marcelo Lippi of Italy can win the World Cup, surely
  our Romi Lippi can de feat de vinegary enemies of Konkani!

10. DEAR AUNTY,
JoeGoaUK made my mouth water - where can I get Goan sweets in Panjim?  Dodol
...
Dear Dodol:Ask Mr. GONS.alves at the 'NEW.RIO' restaurant (GPO), Panjim.
___
11. DEAR AUNTY,
Greetings aunties ! We're touring Asia in a 10-ton trailer. Will you ladies
give us lunch ? Can my guy park his 10-ton inside your hompi ?  Bandana
.
Dear Bandana:  Tell him to Pak.istan outside, then you both come In.dia, you
   go Bang.ladesh on the head, they Go.an to give you lunch !
_
12. DEAR AUNTY,
I live Australia. My new VCD "BhojeKan" just released. How to sell?Cyril
...
Dear Cyril:  Start bhoje classes. You will be Bhoje Kan-Guru!  ..(kangaroo!)
___
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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY - No. 13: WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

 DEAR AUNTY - No. 13:  WEEKLY TOP 12:
 ___

1. DEAR AUNTY,
My govt. is total fail. All my minister are chors.  I want to run away and 
suicide. Please, aunty, I "knock-knock" your door to help me.Rane.
..
Dear Rane:  "Knock! Knock!""Who's there?""Rane !""Rane who??"
 "Arree,.Rane-nng away never solved any problems!"
_
2. DEAR AUNTY,
I went to Porvorim Zoo (Leg. Assembly) last week. Those gorillas love feni ! 
They're so drunk, yet eat so much public funds! How this possible?Makda.
...
Dear Makda:Ape-tight ?(tight=drunk)*
_
3. DEAR AUNTY,
Why the famous tiatrist got up when Churchill spoke at Flower Show?   Miguel

Dear Miguel:Well, Alfred ROSE, because Churchill can LILAC anything !
_
4. DEAR AUNTY,
In Arabic we say "Don't argue with a camel - it frustrates him". But I love 
camels! Is camel-steak available as main course in Goan shacks?   Elisabeth.
...
Dear Elisabeth:No. Camels are mainly found in the 'dessert' !
_
5. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm 16.My dad doesn't allow me to date. He tries to choke all my boyfriends!
What kind of strangler dad is this who's such a thorn in my side ??  Sabina

Dear Sabina: Pai-thon ?
_
6. DEAR AUNTY,
On Sao Joao, my 'boin' fell into the 'bain'. Must I pull her up? Bhau.
..  (bain=well)*
Dear Bhau:  No. You can't be a brother and 'assist her' too ! (boin=sister)*
_
7. DEAR AUNTY,
You're insane! Do a mutilingual "knock-knock" on my movies.  Cecil De Mille
...
Dear Cecil:"Knock!Knock!"."Konn?".."King!"."King konn?"
   "Arree, pisha..King konn' nu re,...King KONG !!"
_
8. DEAR AUNTY,
I hindu, I marry catholic. I poison mutton. My husband die, I faint, my son 
Kamat run away. I need my son ! Pls. give ad to put in paper.   Mrs. D'Melo.
.
Dear Mrs. DeMelo:   "Kamat once, Mama in korma, Papa Melo !"(melo=dead)*
_
9. DEAR AUNTY,
This minor at Preet Mandir is pining away.I want to adopt her. To fill form, 
what's konkani for orphan to describe this little 'minor piner'?  Putin.
...
Dear Putin:Mai-na Pai-na ?
_
10. DEAR AUNTY,
I Goan terrorist. I so furious Hezbollah, Hamas & Pak militants. I forming 
my own group. Give me good goan terrorist name to show how mad I am !  Bombi
...
Dear Bombi:You can be Al-Meida, sister to Al-Qaeda !
_
11. DEAR AUNTY,
In "Nirmon", heroine looks up at black sky. What comment she sing ?  Jacint.

Dear Jacint:   "Cloudy,yaar ?" ("Claudia!")
_
12. DEAR AUNTY,
I "knock-knock" for prayer to help me become Cristao, before I die.  Hindu.
...
Dear Hindu:  "Knock! Knock!""Who's there?""Hindu !"...Hindu who??"
 "Arree,.Hindu thy hands O Lord I commend my spirit !"
_
Disclaimer: all material original & [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations 
for non-konkani readers worldwide. Do forward with due acknowledgement.


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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY - No. 14: WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

DEAR AUNTY - No. 14:  WEEKLY TOP 12:
___

1. DEAR AUNTY,
I heard you were among the thousands fleeing Lebanon this week ! Who were 
you afraid of - Syria, Iran, Israel or the bully Hizbollah ??   Condolezza

...
Dear Condi:   Syria.ous ??  I.ran from Hiz.bullyaar, that threat Is.rael !!
__
2. DEAR AUNTY,
Goans of all types really cherish their chourisanv, huh ? Comment.Cyril

Dear Cyril:  Yeah, I bet you never 'sau.sage' love !   (chourisanv=sausage)*
__
3. DEAR AUNTY,
I can give you fake medical certificate. Small fee. When you come my office, 
just put 'document' under the mez. You under-stand what I mean ?? Dr. Billy

...
Dear Dr. Billy:   I'm sure 'Doc'-u-ment, under the table ?
__
4. DEAR AUNTY,
My car doesn't start on cold mornings. How do I make Anti-freeze ?   Carlos.

Dear Carlos:   Chuck me in the ice-factory !
__
5. DEAR AUNTY,
The monkeys at the Porvorim assembly are shameless. Now, when Goemkars bang 
sarcastically they even acknowledge the clapping ! Why  ?Babu

...
Dear Babu: Ape-lause ? ('lause'=shy/shame)*
__
6. DEAR AUNTY,
Which is the monsoon tarvottis'(sailors) favorite Christmas carol ?   Shippy

Dear Shippy: "I sotri ships come sailing, bai,...come sailing, bai,... !
  (sotri=umbrella)*
__
7. DEAR AUNTY,
I goldsmith. Clients"knock-knock" your door for good chuddi advice. DeSilva.
.
Dear DeSilva: "Knock! Knock!"..."Who's there?"..."DeSilva !"..DeSilva who??"
 "Arree,.DeSilva bangles are cheaper than de gold ones !"
__
8. DEAR AUNTY,
Are you U. S. or U.K.? NRI or NRG, Sir or Madam ? Why you not answer ? Annie
...
Dear Annie:Darling, you know by now  -  U.S., I N-Sir  !!
__
9. DEAR AUNTY,
Remember Goan childhood summers we'd buy chilli raw mangoes & toffee éclairs 
from the hawkers ?  And what about in the freezing monsoons ? Pandu

...
Dear Pandu:   "Chilly, I  d'eclair !"
__
10. DEAR AUNTY,
We learn so much about Goa from you. More Konkani Daffynitions pls?   Daphne

Dear Daphne:  Hompi = p in balcao ! Uddok ?  "No, me Doc !"
__
11. DEAR AUNTY,
What do you think of grandma's cooking? I call mine 'Nana', my gujju friends 
call theirs 'Ba'. So honestly whose grandma you think cooks better ? Jen

.
Dear Jen: In our cultures, anything made Ba.nana is the tastiest !
__
12. DEAR AUNTY,
Our ancestors always taught us our famous Goan fruit like mancurad and 
alphonso were very good for health. Can you comment on this ?   Bosco.

...
Dear Bosco:   If a 'man.goes' by this advice, a 'man.curad' of all diseases!
__
Disclaimer: all material original & [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations
for non-konkani readers worldwide. Do forward with due acknowledgement.


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[Goanet] VIVA GOA:" Last Bus To Vasco"

[Francis Rodrigues]

Goanetters visiting Viva Goa 2006 in Toronto, Canada on July 29, can use 
the BMX booth as a meeting point. Please list your name on the message 
board that will be provided, courtesy of BMX.

http://bmxgoa.com

Dr. Brian Mendonca has asked to mention that
a few copies of his blockbuster book of original
Goan poems 'Last Bus To Vasco' will be available
at Toronto's Viva Goa, this coming Sat. 29 July.

They will be found at the popular Bookstall selling
religious stuff, latest Goan VCDs, CDs, cookbooks,
songbooks & assorted Goan trivia. Perhaps the next
time around Brian will find time for a live book-signing!

FR.


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[Goanet] AUNTY AT VIVA GOA :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

Goanetters visiting Viva Goa 2006 in Toronto, Canada on July 29, can use 
the BMX booth as a meeting point. Please list your name on the message 
board that will be provided, courtesy of BMX.

http://bmxgoa.com


My Dear Pandu,
I so meet to glad you ! Amguem doggie-boy zalo muito
poo-poo-lar on Goanet, lok mundtai teka 'Mainch Gho'
(MG). I thinks not he come to Viva Goa, disttat too busy
educating Aristo, Santosh, Gabe, Elisabeth, etc. Castad!

Bienaka tum !! Merwyn, Kevin, tum, aum, ani sogle bebde
Goanetters ae-aii, pii-ai, nachoi-aii ani gazoi-aii ! Peter-bab
de Dabolim, Viva Goa welcomes you ! Tugea home-town
pottat Hilltop Bar mure ? Saturday night, we will be tight!

Mog assundi,

Aunty Ponty.
.

>From: "Pandu Lampiao" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Subject: [Goanet] Mogaad Aunty/Maushi- Viva Goa Randivouz
>*mobile text message to Maushi*
>
>Mogaad Aunty/Maushi,
>we meet Viva Goa at the Shembu boje stall OK? Will you bring your
>am-rikan barking dog? Your dog make noise for no reason..simply
>barking. Does Poppy read Navhind or Goa net? Maybe he no
>understand...so keep barking no?  Please make sure your dog not bite
>my friend Peter Valles, famous football coach visiting de Goa. After
>we go to Bar Minino for a daktullem cutu.
>Magir mauchem.
>
>Pandurang Naik
>CCB, LLC, PWD (Carnataka University).
>
>
>--


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[Goanet] AUNTY AT VIVA GOA !

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.


'Viva Goa 2006' in Toronto, was a real buzz. Met
loads of folks & goanetters - more anon, another
time, its 4 am & time to grab some shut-eye ! If
you'd like a dekko at some of yr favorite Goanetters
and much of this year's 'Viva Goa' action, click on
the link below for 'Aunty's' snaps of all the fun !

http://www.flickr.com/photos/[EMAIL PROTECTED]/

Before I part, I'd like to say what an immense
pleasure it was meeting so many Goanetters all
at once, from all corners of the globe. Without
exception they were all the most pleasant and
congenial souls, often quite different from their
online personae. I was distinctly priviliged.

I guess a lot of the folks were slightly taken
aback to find 'Aunty' rather younger and
hunkier than perhaps surmised - thank you
for all your undeserved compliments at VG,
online and your contd. support of the column.
I hope I have done you justice in my snaps.

Cheers.

FR.
.


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Re: [Goanet] WORLD GOA DAY 2006 & ROMI LIPPI

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.


Dear Rene & all you prezzies of Goan assocns. worldwide,

Far more than all your song & dance & feasting & toasting
this Goa Day '06, you would pay far greater tribute to your
motherland by whole-heartedly supporting the cause of
the Romi Lippi Konkani script.

What use are all the grandiose celebrations when our
beloved mother-tongue remains falsely imprisoned
behind the bars of a fake Devanagiri script used by
a bigoted few ? Rene, if you truly seek to be the
pioneer that you have pretensions to be, you will go
out and mobilise the financial and political muscle of
the diaspora to bolster our valiant Goan comrades.

Or else, Ichabod.

FR.
..


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Re: [Goanet] GOA DAY & ROMI LIPPI

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.



Dear Rene,

On re-reading my exhortation to you, I would like to
apologize to you if I have taken you unduly to task.
At 4 am, frustrations tend to rankle more. With the
singular exception of A. Veronica Fernandes and the
Kuwait Konkani Kendr, the Romi script demand has
been given short shrift by us Goans in the diaspora.

I do realize however, that we each have our measured
quota of limitations, within which we function. You do
your bit for Goa Day irrespective of its origins and for this
we must remain grateful. But if the will has to strain and
the mind creak like an overworked harness, then we
cannot ask more of you, or the diaspora. The Konkani
foot-soldiers labouring in the dusty trenches of Goa will
continue until our goal for the Romi script is achieved.

Aluta continua.

FR.
..
>Dear Rene & all prezzies of Goan assocns world-wide,
>Far more than all your song & dance & feasting & toasting
>this Goa Day '06, you would pay far greater tribute to your
>motherland by whole-heartedly supporting the cause of
>the Romi Lippi Konkani script.
>


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Re: [Goanet] ROMI, DEVANAGIRI & CHINESE !

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.

Dear Jose,
Great pleasure meeting you at last !
Rene is a good person, and his Goa Day efforts are
certainly to be commended. However, as the Day's
public face, with his/its annual loud appearance in
August, it was inevitable he take the flak. That is
part of the baggage that comes with 'leadership'.

Whilst the Day's origins remain shrouded in the
mists of antiquity (I will refer you to George here),
rather than a "founder",  Rene's utility as a Day
co-ordinator would perhaps be better served in
welding the diaspora into a more cohesive force.

You have provided the answer to your own conun-
drum in questioning my labeling of Devanagiri as
"fake", when you burst 'it would be cheaper/better
off switching to English !' To thousands of groaning
goan schoolkids and the hundreds of foreign visitors
and businessmen, Devanagiri is labeled far, far worse.
Romi konkani is not only instant comprehension and 
assimilation, but part of the world-wide script of choice.

Devanagiri is a Brahmic restricted to the sub-continent
(Gupta orig. if I'm not mistaken), and though I think
I'm pretty fluent in it, I do not speak for all the other
Indian ethnicities that use it. Its script is as foreign to 
Goans as Chinese and we have been saddlled with it 
for the past two decades by some deft sleight-of-hand.
 
At best we can be left with a choice of either script. But
I cannot bear the thought of further generations squealing
in early morning agony "er, ah, ee, eee, oh, ow, argh !!"

Cordially,

FR.
.



>jc's input:
>
>1. I commend Francis Rodrigues for having reviewed
> his own view wrt Rene Barreto 
>2. I personally commend Renebab for doing what he does... 
>3. I hope FR wasn't serious when he labelled Devanagiri 
>script as being fake. If he was, I'd like to disagree with him. 
>7. Accordingly, BEFORE we jump up and down and criticise 
>Goans for turning to English at weddings etc, and turning
>away from the Church 
>10. Are we really ready for this uphill battle or is it 
>"cheaper" to just switch to English ?
>
>good wishes to all
>
>jc

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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY No. 15 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.

 DEAR AUNTY No. 15 - WEEKLY TOP 12:
 _

1. DEAR AUNTY,
It seems now another group of mainly priests has come forward to save Goa.
Who are they - is it the same Floriano, in a different disguise ?   Loiola
...
Dear Loiola:   No, he's Su-Raj ! These guys are Ig-Raj !   ('igrej'=church)*

2. DEAR AUNTY,
You seem chummy with Helga in the Viva Goa photos! Anything going on?  Kevin
..
Dear Kevin:  Heavens, no !  She's just my Aunt Arctica !

3. DEAR AUNTY,
We Goans are so good at Sol-Fa and music. But nowadays foreigners taking all
our music contracts. Why they come, even from as far as Portugal ?   Ti  Me.

..
Dear Ti Me:   They come So Fa to sing Portuguese Fa Do for plenty Do Lah !

4. DEAR AUNTY,
How did the kind cop meet the confused aunty at Viva Goa this year? Blandino
.
Dear Blandino:  " Hello madam, I'm police to meet you !"

5. DEAR AUNTY,
OK, can you do an English knock-knock this week, but something Goan! Godfrey

Dear Godfrey:"Knock ! Knock !"."Who's there?"."Cash!" 
 "Cash who??"..Cashew feni, we ain't got any!"

6. DEAR AUNTY,
Why all these big antics of yours to support the Romi Konkani script ?  Lino
.
Dear Lino:   Well. 'cos I'm just a big Rom-aunt-ic !

7. DEAR AUNTY,
Two phoren girls escaped Beirut and staying in our shack. They wear lungis,
and live and love together the live-long day. Are they Lebanese ? Libby.
..
Dear Libby: Gaily going on ? Why not Goanese ??

8. DEAR AUNTY,
Cuba's Fidel Castro very ill-he's communist, must the Pope pray for him? Joe

Dear Joe:Havana pray for him too, but Vatican do yaar ?!

9. DEAR AUNTY,
I was violent criminal. Now I'm musician, I want to form big band. Rebec is
traditional, but I don't want. Should I have violins in my band or no? Chor 
.
Dear Chor:  I think 'non violins' is the best solution for you

10. DEAR AUNTY,
Why was Joseph in the Bible a big-hearted, generous goenkar ?Zuzfin.
...
Dear Zuzfin:   Because he had a coat of many 'kalliz' !   (colours!)
   (kalliz = heart)*

11. DEAR AUNTY,
Big accident Surla mines. No communication. Can I use your walkie-talkie to
send my foreman Raja urgently to the mines ? Pls. give the msg to send. Anil
. 
Dear Anil:"Mines go ! Mines go! Raja, over and out !"

12. DEAR AUNTY,
You were security vigil at Viva Goa - legal or illegal (like Stallone)?  Sil

Dear Sil:  Oh yes, I was a big vigil-auntie !  (vigilante!)

Disclaimer: all material original & [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations
for non-konkani readers worldwide. Do forward with due acknowledgement.

For Aunty Ponty's photos of Toronto's 'Viva Goa 2006' click on:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/[EMAIL PROTECTED]/

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Re: [Goanet] Konkani, ROMI & DEVANAGIRI & WGD

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.

Dear Jose,
My inbox went down over the Viva Goa photos, almost
1,500 hits daily, the e-mail response was staggering.

I must quickly weave together the disparate strands
uniting Rene, Goa Day & the Devanagiri script. Certainly
you may be right wrt the re-engineered Konkani Romi
script. That does not make wrong my displeasure with
the underhand slipping in of the much-detested Devanagiri
script into Goan life. It might be tolerated and even now
accepted alongside the Romi script, but must never again
be allowed to enslave us. For the record I'm not a 'mogi',
nor fluent in Devanagiri konkani, just the Devanagiri script.

Rene is the face of Goa Day, whose antecedents remain
unclear. Despite spirited defenses, there is a difference.
Credit must always be acknowledged, lest a maverick take
advantage of the vacuum. A co-ordinator and a genuine
founder are quite different. Like Solomon's judgement, a
genuine founder would have understood the call to arms.

Goa Day is a creation, an ephemeral child, of the diaspora.
How many Goans in Goa take even a moment's notice of it,
let alone celebrate it ? Therein lies your problem - the long
simmering resentment of native Goans with the diaspora,
and their glib, flighty, fanciful ways. When irate Goans march
for their script in the flooded, steamy streets of Goa, the
diaspora Goans are celebrating WGD with song and dance,
toasting their personal success year after year, tossing off
jarring phrases "boonies","freeway", summering","turnpike",
blah, blah, blah... is it any wonder brilliant writers like Elisabeth
end up being mauled by the likes of Cecil Pinto and Sunith V?

The diaspora could do heaps for those who fight on back home.
Like support the script battle. And if you think it is possible to
ignore those of our less fortunate brethren, then may I quote
Walter Pitkin in reminding you that we must remain the enemy
of the good - because to love the best is to see the whole Goan
world in a fresh and startling light. As with the origins of WGD,
that being possible to hate half-knowledge, half-hearted ideals,
half-skills, sussegado,complacency, sets fire to something inside you.

Like many, our Goan world perishes under the misleading of stupid
people who disbelieve in perfection. Pitkin again. Calling themselves
realists, they are actually victims of the vulgar myth of man's supreme,
invincible incompetence. Rank leaders rise up with the day, saving
Goa from the govt., the Raj, the ghanttiis, even Goans themselves.
Deeming people to be much worse than they are, these so-called
leaders become compromisers, shirkers, or false liberals who spout
words and choke on deeds. True leaders will unite the diaspora
and the native. And never allow ourselves to be sold short, of our
cuture or destiny. Verily "the price of freedom is eternal vigilance".

Always,
FR.
.




>Dear FR,

>wrt Rene: Like you too have said, he is a good guy. He does the best he is
>able to, and I commend him for that. Let's assist him if we can.
>
>wrt the Goa Day origins: I am sure the credit lies with the Kuwait Goans
>who started this event in the early 1990s. I also credit Prof George Pinto
>(and a fine Goan lady whose name escapes me at this moment) with the date 
>etc
>of the present GoaDay.  However, whoever the parents of the idea, and we
>should surely acknowledge them, it is Rene Baretto who has played the role 
>of the
>active 'Father' of Goa Day, and Basilio Magno as the 'Godfather'.

>wrt Devanagri: Is it possible that we are somehow mixing up Devanagri (the
>script) with English (the language)?
>
>I personally believe that Devanagri is better suited to correctly give
>letter-form to the spoken form of Konkani. However, as Jorge de Abreu
>Noronha wrote in some time ago, that difficulty can be overcome in the
>Romscript, quite easily and without the headache of the reEngineered Romi
>Konkani script.
>
>If Konkani is to grow in more avenues than just the Tiatrs, the movers and
>shakers must think again. One method is to accept that alienation NEVER...
>ULO is the only present Konkani publication which has a chance of
>succeedingwhile Sunaparant and Gulab have every opportunity to post 
>a...

>Do understand very clearly, FR it is NOT the script which is the
>foundational problem for Konkani, it the mutilated and re-engineered
>Konkanithat is.


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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY No. 16 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

DEAR AUNTY No. 16 - WEEKLY TOP 12:
_

1. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm a Goan poder (baker), who wants to be a Hollywood star! Give me a good
floury screen name so I can be famous and marry Angelina Jolie ?Pittulo
.
Dear Pittulo: 'Bread Pitto' ?   (Brad Pitt, dummy!)*
___
2. DEAR AUNTY,
How come you so kind Aunty, yet Uncle Willy always stings us?  Gilbert
.
Dear Gilbert:Don't worry Gilly - Uncle may bite but Aunti-dotes on you !
  (antidotes!)*
___
3. DEAR AUNTY,
The Bible tells us Adam was made of clay & Eve from his side. What about
the first Indians – was he the same, and she clay from his side ?Marty
...
Dear Marty: Yes. That's why he's Shri and she's Shri-matti !
(matti=clay)*
___
4. DEAR AUNTY,
My grandma's curry is scary - so hot I need to 'run'! What to do? Cody
..
Dear Cody:  I think you better scurry home to Mum's !
___
5. DEAR AUNTY,
Now the story's out ! The Goan band 'Lynx' tried to crash Viva Goa and
caused all the commotion ! What did the Toronto cops do ? Gabe
..
Dear Gabe:   'cuff Lynx ?(cuff-links !)*
___
6. DEAR AUNTY,
My maid makes chapatis from leftover dough - but why do they smell?   Pittor

Dear Pittor: Maybe they're 'roti'ing ?(rotting!)*
___
7. DEAR AUNTY,
Elections near, yet the politicos still squabbling over posts ! You think 
Narvekar should sit in CM’s chair & wear CM's coat, in the rains?Sonia

...
Dear Sonia: It'll only be a short reign-coat, for soon he'll be throne out!
___
8. DEAR AUNTY,
Do you really need us, or are uncle & you just happy with each other ? Jen
.
Dear Jen:   Without 'U' darling, neither a'U'nty nor 'U'ncle can exist !
___
9. DEAR AUNTY,
That was a great "King" knock-knock, now do a "Kung" knock-knock !Bruce
...
Dear Bruce:   "Knock ! Knock !"..."Who's there ?"."Kung !!"
"Kung who ??".."Arree, Kung who nu re, Kung FU !!"
___
10. DEAR AUNTY,
Yr Sol-Fa jokes are fab ! Shall I buy a cow or a buffalo, to eat ?Remy
...
Dear Re-Me:  I'm So Re, but Re-Do's are not very Me-Ti !   (So Re=sorry)
  (Re-Do=Buffalo)
___(Me-Ti=meaty)___
11. DEAR AUNTY,
I went to meet my French friend Jacques at Dabolim airport. When I saw him
and shouted "Hi Jack!", I was arrested. Why Jacques let me down ?Rene
..
Dear Rene:   With 'France' like these, who needs enemies ?!
___
12. DEAR AUNTY,
The Middle East "guerr"(war) is escalating - want to join in, aunty?  Anan
..
Dear Anan: No guerr-aunty, no warr-aunty !
___
Disclaimer: all material original & [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations
for non-konkani readers worldwide. Do forward with due acknowledgement.

For Aunty Ponty’s photos of Toronto's ‘Viva Goa 2006’ click on:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/[EMAIL PROTECTED]/


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Re: [Goanet] POSITIONS & THE CHURCH

[Francis Rodrigues]

>Mario Goveia <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>The Catholic Church's position on homosexuality
>does not apply to me because I am not homosexual.
>
>COMMENT: Many a true word was spoken in jest!
>--
>Gabe Menezes.
>London, England
>--

Gabe,

"Methinks the 'gentleman' doth protest too much.!"

might be more appropriate (paraphrasing WS/Hamlet) !

FR.



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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY No. 17 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

  DEAR AUNTY No. 17 - WEEKLY TOP 12:
  _

1. DEAR AUNTY,
Goan-NRI Quiz: Everybody knows 'Martin's Beach Corner' Betalbatim – name its 
most famous Goan meat dish of English-Gujju-Keralite origin ?   JoeGoaUK

.
Dear Joe: Aha !  Martin Shah Kutty ? (mutton xacutti !)*
__
2. DEAR AUNTY,
My sweet dad perspires like crazy! How to introduce him to my pals?  Sweta
...
Dear Sweta:No problem.  'Sweaty Pai ?' (sweety-pie, dummy!)*
__
3. DEAR AUNTY,
My sewage is fail. I wanna put own toilet tank & disinfectant. Which ?   Lou
.
Dear Lou: Wrong aunty again ! Please get Aunty Septic !
__
4. DEAR AUNTY,
My niece Nora competing Miss Goa final. Who wiggles booty best? Pervarti
..
Dear Pervarti:   Oh, I think the Assonora is more shapely than the others !
__
5. DEAR AUNTY,
Uncle's gone bananas!  Every morning he just stares at the lizard on our 
wall above Da Vinci's painting, without a word! What's going on?   Gecko

...
Dear Gecko:Don't panic. He's just gone 'Mono Liza'!(mono=dumb!)*
__
6. DEAR AUNTY,
Aishwarya at Dabolim! Shld she go North/South Goa? She gets car-sick! Salmon

Dear Salmon:   Da'bolim wood heroine is a Car'mona! Velim weak. Needs Pilar.
 (Dabolim=da Bolly; Carmona=car moaner; Velim=velly; Pilar=pillar)*
__
7. DEAR AUNTY,
I wanta send you sweets. You like yr mints salty/sweet (mitt/sacor)?  Sacru
...
Dear Sacru:   Sweet pls, thank you ! I'm veg now, I can't have 'mints-mitt'!
__
8. DEAR AUNTY,
In the Antarctic,we need to catch the elusive seals to tag them. Help! Helga
...
Dear Helga: Soon as you get close, pin their toes i.e. "See seal, Pin toe !"
__
9. DEAR AUNTY,
I fishlady. I "knock-knock" you explain to my customers fish prices. DaCosta
.
Dear DaCosta:   "Knock! Knock!"..."Who's there?"...DaCosta!"...DaCosta who?"
   "Arree,.Da Costa da fish keeps going up every day !"
__
10. DEAR AUNTY,
Churchill at Fatorda grounds again.Now he wants all the lawns in order! Loni
..
Dear Loni:   With Churchill, it's always a 'lawn order' situation !
__
11. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm sending you to Lebanon to certify the ceasefire's certain, OK? Blair
..
Dear Tony:What makes you so sure - you think I'm your cert-aunty ??
__
12. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm pastry chef at Taj. I need to 'go', urgent! Guests blocked all our loos!
Gimme quick msg, we ring my Mum to check when her pig-toilet is free! Martin

Dear Martin: 'Aloo Mutter? Mutton here. Pliss ladoos know vindaloo is free!'
(trans: Hello Mother? Martin here. Pls let us know when the loo is free!)*
__
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.

For Aunty Ponty’s photos of Toronto's 'Viva Goa 2006' click on:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/[EMAIL PROTECTED]/


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[Goanet] DEAR RENE - WORLD GOA DAY.

[Francis Rodrigues]

Dear Rene,
World Goa Day is here and we will not rain on
your parade. This is your moment and you
have done much to deserve it.Tempus fugit.

When it is over, the last kals of feni downed
and the last morsel of sorpotel scraped, we
will sit down and cross the chasm. And next
year do something worthwhile so that WGD
will unite abd not divide. And finally pay tribute
to that quiet, solitary, unknown Goan who
really founded World Goa Day, an aeon ago.

FR.
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Re: [Goanet] a Nada Malice to Os Todos World Goa Day story ... Muito Obrigada sez Maria

[Francis Rodrigues]

haha Jose ! lol. Just off to the Konkani Day lunch.
I'm sure you know Baden-Powell's Boy Scouts' motto.
Google it, otherwise !

FR.


>From: "Jose Colaco" 
>
>jose colaco's observation with Nada Malice to Os Todos
>
>This reminds me of the story of Bostiao, Bebe, Custodio ani Maria...also 
>stars Succorinha
>
>
>Title: Muito Obrigada  sez Maria
>
>An aeon ago, Bostiao was eating bhaji puri et al with Succorinha. Many 
>bhaji puris later, it came to happen that Succorinha was with child, and 
>that Bostiao may have founded the child, to be later called Bebe.
>

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[Goanet] WORLD GOA DAY & TGF MYTHS.

[Francis Rodrigues]

Dear Jose,
We're indebted to Khushwant Singh for informing us
that our idiotic Sardars (who didn't know which end
of the foot to put socks on) were behind the TGF
name (Toes Go First). I trust they're still running TGF?

Only a couple of comments re. your TGF fable on WGD,
which I'll summarize v. briefly to save further bandwidth:
"Bostiao Dias-Pora's child Bebe (abandoned by his father
at birth)was successfully brought up by Jose Custodio(JC),
a benevolent healer (who had unsuccessful aspirations to
become dean of GMC). Bostiao returns to claim his child,
on hearing of his reaching manhood. JC pines away..."
COMMENT:
J. Custodio's 'bringing up' of Bebe is limited to simply
shouting his name endlessly from rooftops, incessantly
writing acquaintances to mindlessly celebrate his birth,
and more deviously, falsely publicising himself as Bebe's
father. Bebe, for his part, is detested by the Goans of
Goa, because he exists simply as a figment in the imagi-
nation of JC - being given to only the drunken partaking
of wine and song, without an iota of concrete contribu-
tion to the lives of his fellow Goans. Need I say more ?
   --
JC: There is still time & opportunity to rectify the wrongs
committed in the name of WGD. You have more sense
than RB. If he sows the wind, he will reap the whirlwind.

Quem anda à chuva, molha-se.
FR.
__


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[Goanet] WORLD GOA DAY CONTROVERSY

[Francis Rodrigues]

Dear Jose,
I'm now into corporate law, but as an attorney, handled a
number of briefs in the field of 'intellectual property'. Being
economical with the truth comes easily to many, including
our own Goans - Rene is not immune. If you Google 'World
Goa Day founder' only Rene's name appears, in a number
of self-promotional postings, including the msg. section of
his own goaday.com and prominent Goan websites like the
'Goan Voice'. You can google last year's GV Canada, for a
clear Goa Day msg from Rene himself, headlined as Founder.

There is no cause for being disingenuous. IP - intellectual
property - is an individual's own creation, idea, invention.
Stealing this is outright theft; of his/her idea & good name.
We are all more than delighted to honour Rene as the
Promoter of Goa Day. Let's take it from there. There are
a huge number of unanswered questions as to the use
and abuse of WGD. The groundswell continues to rise by
the hour - today itself you can read Helga R. Gomes and
Roland Francis - two of GN's more accomplished writers.

I needed to inject levity, instead of acrimony, into the
WGD controversy, hence the Sardar ref! As to the Scout
motto, that was just a friendly nudge to "Be Prepared".
We all skim and dance on the surface, parrying thrusts in
our little cyber-world skirmishes. But often, weapons of
mass destruction lie just beneath. WGD must never die.
It is up to us to breathe life & rationale & relevance into it.

We had a small Goanetters WGD lunch in Toronto yester-
day. At the end we raised a modest sum for Konkani. Now
if every WGD function tried the same everywhere, every
year, wouldn't that be a real WGD, a 'Wonderful Goa Day'?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/[EMAIL PROTECTED]/

With every good wish,

FR.
...

>Dear Francis,
>Once again, I thank you for the civility in your communications to me. 
>Having said that, I will let your characterization (on this forum) of 
>Sardars, remain entirely yoursI'd like to suggest that IF you possess 
>any evidence that the good Rene Baretto has ever claimed that He is the 
>originator of the World Goa Day idea, please post it here. time. 
>Perhaps, someday you will tell us what relevance the Scout motto has with 
>my posting wrt World Goa Day.
>with the best of wishes
>jose


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Re: [Goanet] WORLD GOA DAY CONTROVERSY - Terminal?

[Francis Rodrigues]

Dear Jose,
I know you as a kind, caring physician. However I do
also recognize that arguing with you is a thankless task
all round - for the reader, the writer, the netter. Why
don't you stick to medicine, and leave the law to others?

Your patient (RB) is not terminal - as yet. I'm sure he
does not need you to defend him, his vocal chords are
yet in order - we have been hearing them loud enough
in cyberspace for half a dozen years now ! It is time to
let him speak for himself. Secondhand is second-guessing.

You asked for proof of your patient's WGD claims. When
supplied you did not refute them. Now you are being
disingenuous again, quoting the letter of the law. Let's
cut to the chase - a simple yes or no will do. Is Rene
Barretto the founder and originator of the World Goa
Day idea ? Has WGD done anything concrete for Goa?

Kind regards,

Francis.
.



>My dear Francis,
>
>Once again, I thank you for the courtesy and civility you extend in your 
>replies. I do have some questions & comments though ...
>1: re: 'intellectual property' and WGD:  Would you also please advise us in 
>whose name the 'patent', 'copyright' etc has been registered ...and when?.
Are you saying that the 5 (I believe) prerequisites for Theft
>have been met wrt to the WGD idea?
>So, If I may ask again ...From WHOM was this IDEA of WGD "appropriated" ?


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Re: [Goanet] WGD COURT TRANSCRIPT - Day 2

[Francis Rodrigues]

Dear Advogado Jose,
Here is a simplified transcript pf this morning's proceedings:
Goan Cybercourt No. 1, Hon. Justice Goen Publicus presiding.
After preliminaries:
PP: Your Honour, Mr. RB is accused of misappropriating an IP.
Ju: Who is appearing for the defense?
JC: I am, your Honor.
Ju: How does your client plead?
JC: Your Honor, it has not been shown-
Ju: I repeat!! How does your client plead ??
JC: Your Honor, my client can show...
Ju: Cease immediately!! Which part do you not understand??
JC: Your Honor, my client requires this court to prove he
 is not the originator of the IP under mention and...
Ju: Silence!!! Counsel, approach the bench immediately!!
JC: Yes, your Honor??
Ju: Are you indeed unaware of courtroom procedure?
JC: No, your Honor.
Ju: That taking the plea of the accused is the first step -
JC: Your Honor, I'm a respected physician...
Ju: Silence!! One last time - is your client guilty or not??
JC: Your Honor, can you prove -
Ju: Silence!! Counsel, I am holding you in contempt. One day's
 SI, during which your credentials will be verified. Your
 unfortunate client may choose alternate representation.
 Bailiff, counsel may be removed from this court immediately!
___
So JC, the gloves are off. No more hemming and hawing and
verbal obfuscation. One simple question - is Rene Barretto the
founder and originator of World Goa Day ? One simple Yes or
No. If you cannot answer that straightforward and upright, I
think I'm wasting my time. No cockamamie Pontius Pilate type
of responses. It is you, not your client, who is now in the dock.

Francis.
...



>Dear Francis,
>With due respect, I do not see why I (jc) should have to stick
to medicine. jc doesn't know who is "the founder and originator
>of the World Goa Day idea" jc couldn't care less ...
>You (Francis) on the other hand have claimed that Rene is NOT "the founder 
>and originator of the World Goa Day idea"..
>It probably means a lot to you BUT can you prove that he is NOT?
>If anyone else  had made that accusation, it would have been excusable. But 
>...you are a lawyer. Surely you know what entails the IP claims and Theft 
>accusations. Do you not?...
>One final note with due respect, please be advised that (jc) does NOT 
>have to stick to medicine.
>good wishes as always
>jc


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Re: [Goanet] WGD - A Time For Change

[Francis Rodrigues]

Dear Jose,
Thank you for graciously throwing in the towel. Your
position was always untenable. Since you have all the
correspondence, you do know who originated WGD.
I have never met her and maybe never will. But if you
Jose, had originated a creative idea, which another
took and misrepresented worldwide as his/her own, I
would labor unceasingly to correct this glaring anomaly.

Theft of 'intellectual property' by so-called do-gooders
is a matter of increasing worldwide concern. Let us
ignore the canards you have raised about RB's being
accused of theft and your encyclopedic knowledge of
IP law. If we all went to internet school, there would
be no need of the educational system, would there?

I have always been happy to support WGD, and my
efforts were merely to rescue it from the morass it
had fallen into of disenchanting Goans with its mind-
lessness. It is necessary to walk the walk, when one
talks the talk. I wish Rene, Ad Multos Anos, and hope
that he will revel in the glory that comes with promo-
ting another's idea, at the expense of one's own ego.

With all good wishes,

Francis.
.
>Dear Francis,
>Please put your gloves and be the polite guy you are. Taking gloves off in 
>public when you should be be wearing them. That is quite 
>impoliteTrust me, I have NO illusions about WHO did WHAT and WHEN wrt 
>this matter...I have been privy to e-conversations, telephone
>dialogue and meetings since March 10, 1994that is 12+ years ago.
>...PS: My personal position is that much more can be achieved by supporting 
>each other (in our own way) rather than attacking somebody in public like 
>Rene has been attacked. Can we agree on that?
>Now ...please join me in wishing Renebab a very Happy 70th birthday ...God 
>Bless You, Me, Rene, all of us ...and our families
>Let's see how we can work together - instead of tearing down those who try 
>to do something - however imperfect they (or we) may be.
>jc


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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY No. 18 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

 DEAR AUNTY No. 18 - WEEKLY TOP 12:
 _

1. DEAR AUNTY,
My uncle lost Velsao sarpanch elections, very depressed. What to do? Agnel
...
Dear Agnel:   Why don't you guys go over to 'Cansaulim?' (console him!)*
_
2. DEAR AUNTY,
Another 'Goan-NRI Forum' Quiz Question: Dad's pet name is the same as this
very popular Goan fruit, which gives him the runs ! Name it.   JoeGoaUK.
..
Dear Joe:  Aha !  'Poo-pai ?'   (Popai=papaya)*
_
3. DEAR AUNTY,
Should we give in and allow the govt. to dump refuse in Ribandar ?Aires
...
Dear Aires:  Rubbish. Refuse the refuse !
_
4. DEAR AUNTY,
Gujarat has India's first dairy school! Should Goa start the second ? Miguel

Dear Miguel:   No, thank you ! Goa has enough 'second-dairy' schools !
_
5. DEAR AUNTY,
Pls reply in Konkani. You the fat mom dancing at Carnaval in batik skirt? Hy

Dear Hy:  Kunnbi ! Mai nachso gauddi !  (Couldn't be! My not so gaudy!)*
 (kunnbi/gauddi=peasant; mai=mom; nachso=dance)
_
6. DEAR AUNTY,
Are you good at physics? What's the centre of mass of a proton?Proto
...
Dear Proto:  Protons have Mass ?? I didn't even know they were
 Catholic ! Anyway, the centre of Mass is the priest!
_
7. DEAR AUNTY,
I got a secret crush on this cute college guy. So I sent a msg. that I want
to meet him. His friend txted back S.E.X.Y?  Should I be insulted?  Mottench
..
Dear Mottench:  Stupid! He asked reason i.e. S.E.X.Y ? = "Yes, He Aks Why ?"
_
8. DEAR AUNTY,
Hey mon ! Too heavy rain, can't go out. No sugar - what to do?? Matti.
...
Dear Matti: When'Mon'soon paus, then "matti go-bor"row sugar from neighbour!
   (paus=rain; matti gobor=mud ash)*
_
9. DEAR AUNTY,
I hear your Mom's ten times richer than Bill Gates ! How come ??   Mani
..
Dear Mani:I guess she has the Mai-dus touch !   (mai=mom; dus=ten)*
_
10. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm doctor. I"knock-knock" you tell my patients to avoid mosquitoes! DeSouza
.
Dear DeSouza:  "Knock! Knock!"..."Who's there?"...DeSouza!"...DeSouza who??"
   "Arree,.DeSouza what you'll get from de mosquito bites !"
_
11. DEAR AUNTY,
Why all that legal brouhaha with you in the World Goa Day controversy?  Jose
..
Dear Jose:   Sorry! Just my modus oper-aunty!   (modus operandi=method!)
_
12. DEAR AUNTY,
I hurt my Goan boyfriend Gama. Suggest a nice love song to apologize. Nisha.
...
Dear Nisha: Sa-Re Ga-Ma, Pa-Da.Ni-Sha ! (Sorry Gama, pardon Nisha!)*
_
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.

For Aunty Ponty's photos of Toronto's 'Goa Day' & 'Viva Goa 2006' click on:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/[EMAIL PROTECTED]/


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Re: [Goanet] WORLD GOA DAY

[Francis Rodrigues]

Dear Paulo,
I am sure that Rene Barretto is a kind, wonderful man, in the
sunset of what must have been a quietly creative life. These
talents however do not seem to have extended to WGD. And,
as in the case of his personal friends, logic and sentiment do
not quite seem to agree too, as in your second sentence below.

You have paid tribute to Rene's sterling qualities as promoter and
co-ordinator of WGD, and we all stand humbled by his contribution
there. My stand has been merely to try and salvage WGD's diminish-
ing reputation as an increasing number of Goans & Goan organisations
grow disenchanted by a lack of action by the erstwhile promoter and
his perpetuation of a personality cult. I am more than certain that you
and others know what I mean, so I will not further belabour the point.

The kind of statement you made re. patenting of the WGD idea and
challenging this, is unworthy not only of you Paulo, but of this forum.
I am sure it was unintentional, being possibly based on a similar canard
from the Carribean. A cursory familiarity with our legal systems will 
explain
why. In the final analysis, an event like the WGD can only live on delinked
from a darkly pervasive, but ultimately destructive personality cult.

Best regards,
Francis.

>Dear all,
>I read with some interest the arguments about who is the creator
>/founder of the "World Goa Day" idea. I do not know if it is possible to 
>associate a name (founder/creator) to the idea.
>Certainly anyone will recognise that Rene has been extremely active in
>promoting the idea and I have heard before from George that Filomena Giese
>came up with it. However, anyone claiming credit for the creation of the
>idea can certainly be challenged unless the idea was registered/patented
>somewhere, which I do not believe it was.
>Does it really matter who came up with the idea? What matters is that we
>keep celebrating Goa day where ever we may be in the world. This is the 
>only
>way to keep our culture and our identity alive and I personally thank Rene
>for being the great world-wide coordinator of these yearly celebrations. In
>my opinion, they have been a success so far.

>Best regards
>Paulo Colaco Dias.
>


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[Goanet] GOANET ANNIVERSARY

[Francis Rodrigues]

Goanet - 12 years. Today.
Great stuff.
Herman. Fred. Bosco. Viviana.
Lotsa others. Unsung.
Salud !

Francis
...


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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY No. 19 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

DEAR AUNTY No. 19 - WEEKLY TOP 12:
_

1. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm tarvotti. I "knock-knock" yr advice for good shippy jobs abroad.  D'Cruz

Dear D'Cruz:"Knock! Knock!"..."Who's there?"...D'Cruz!"...D'Cruz who??"
   "Arree,...D'Cruz ships offer our sailors de best jobs!"
__
2. DEAR AUNTY,
 Why did the combi cross the road ? Collo
...
Dear Collo: Because the fox.wagon was on the other side !
 (combi=chicken;Volkswagon Combi=old van!)*
__
3. DEAR AUNTY,
Zany Question: Why did Ferreira fix his carreira ? Pereira
.
Dear Pereira: Because Fernandes refused to Mend'is !
__
4. DEAR AUNTY,
Who's the highest paid Sol-Fa singer in the world today ?  Re-La
...
Dear Re-La: Queen La-Ti-Fah from La-Re-Do earns over 10 million Do-Lah !
__
5. DEAR AUNTY,
If the Bible is the Holy Book of Christians, what’s the Bhagvad Gita ?  Sant
..
Dear Sant:   The Holy Book of Hin'Do's & Don'ts !'
__
6. DEAR AUNTY,
What happened? No more multi-lingual "knock-knock" jokes?? Aisha
...
Dear Aisha: "Knock! Knock!"."Konn?".Shah!".Shah konn??"
   "Arree,..Chah konn korta, mak tann lagta!"
__
7. DEAR AUNTY,
My mum's invented a new telecope to catch crows. What can I call it?  Kauddo

Dear Kauddo:   'Mai-crowscope ??'
__
8. DEAR AUNTY,
My friend built a house at Surla, but no water supply ! What to do?Pani
..
Dear Pani:  Send her a Get 'well' Soon card !
__
9. DEAR AUNTY,
Driving up to the dudh gaddo in the morning, I crashed. You know why ?  Val
.
Dear Val:  Did you get frightened by the milk 'booth' ??
(dudh=milk; bhooth=ghost)*
__
10. DEAR AUNTY,
With all this talk of Islamic martyrs getting 72 virgins, I want to become
a martyr! Where can I study to become a professional martyr ?  Martyres
..
Dear Martyres:  Mata High School, Vasco.
__
11. DEAR AUNTY,
 Why did the combi cross the road ?   Chicky

Dear Chicky: Because the jazz combo was on the other side !
 (combi=chicken;combo=rooster)*
__
12. DEAR AUNTY,
I love everything Goan! Can you do a“knock-knock” on our Goan food? JoeGoaUK
.
Dear Joe:"Knock! Knock!"..."Who's there?"...Samosa !"...Samosa who??"
"Arree,..Samo.sannas with your sorpotel, sir ??"
__
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.

For Aunty Ponty's photos of Toronto's 'Goa Day' & 'Viva Goa 2006' click on:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/[EMAIL PROTECTED]/


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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY No. 20 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.

DEAR AUNTY No. 20 - WEEKLY TOP 12:
_

1. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm a Patel mum. We really push our kids. You wanna "knock-knock" us??  Bina
..
Dear Bina:   "Knock! Knock!"..."Who's there?"...Patel !"...Patel who??"
  "Arree,...Pa.tel  Ma to stop bothering us!"
___
2. DEAR AUNTY,
Zany Question:   Why did the bakri buzz ?   Vaz
.
Dear Vaz:  Because it found the caju funny !
___
3. DEAR AUNTY,
Strange 'things' found this month in both Coke and Pepsi. Yet the Goa FDA
is only suing Pepsi, for these foreign 'things'. Why not Coke? Cola
..
Dear Cola:  Because honey, "Things go better with Coke !"
___
4. DEAR AUNTY,
Why did the combi cross the India border ?  Tikka
...
Dear Tikka: Because the combi-nation's on the other side !
  (combi=chicken)*
___
5. DEAR AUNTY,
Our late dad was a motorcycle pilot. But he always wanted to act as 25-year
old hero in Biblical movies. Suggest a good role for our late-pai? Piki
..
Dear Piki: How about 'Ponchis Pai-late'?  (ponchis=25)*
___
6. DEAR AUNTY,
Where can I get 2 Goan nurses to wheel my old Mum and push my Dad?  Zantye

Dear Zantye:  Apollo Hospital, Margao. Ask for Wil-ma and Push-pa !
___
7. DEAR AUNTY,
I took a toy gun to give my friend in my new school in America, but when I
took it out and shouted "Le-lo yaar, dost !", why everybody run away?  Singh
...
Dear Singh:Dude, translation: "Lay low, you're toast !"
___
8. DEAR AUNTY,
My hubby Olav Viegas loves gambling. What T-shirt to get for his b’day? Elma
..
Dear Elma:How about one that says "I love Vegas" ??
___
9. DEAR AUNTY,
Chief Secretary and the Goa govt. announced a major terrorist threat this
this week from unknown men. But what if it's a woman terrorist ? Teresa

Dear Teresa:Why then, we'll just have to go and terrorize out !
(terrorize=tear her eyes)*
___
10. DEAR AUNTY,
Why uncle go Margao to "Africa" stores? Buy cooker, steamer, toaster? Kaptin

Dear Kaptin:   Yes, he just went buy steamer to 'Africa'.
___
11. DEAR AUNTY,
Zany Question:  Whom did Rodriques see Henri-quis?  Jacques
.
Dear Jacques:   I dunno but, Nunes said he was a bad Moniz !
 (Henri-kiss!)*
___
12. DEAR AUNTY,
Your "knock-knock" jokes are delicious ! Some more snacks please?  JoeGoaUK
..
Dear JoeGoaUK:   "Knock! Knock!"..."Who's there?"...Pat !"...Pat is who??"
"Arree,.Pattis haina zalear, mak punn di !"
___
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.

For Aunty Ponty's photos of Toronto's 'Goa Day' & 'Viva Goa 2006' click on:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/[EMAIL PROTECTED]/


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[Goanet] KEYBORED OR NOT !

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.

Dear Prof. Pinto,
Thank you for using our generic product. Our forum 'Keyboards Or No
Keyboards Against National Illiteracy (K.O.N.K.A.N.I.)', is proud to note
only 2 defective models in our illustrious history. We cross the pond to
name the customers affected, one Mr. Goveia of Toledo, OH, the other,
said Dr. Lawrence of Arabia. Mr. Goveia inexplicably wired his function key
"No Pause/Break'  to his system softwear (Garruloz 8.8); any attempt on
his part to type a single word results in 2 paragraphs. Our commiserations.

On Dr. Lawrence's keyboard, the "Save" key remains stuck on Leviticus.
This kind of keypad provides much helpful advice, as in the homosexual
lifestyle being an abomination (Lev 18:22), etc. Unfortunately for Goans,
the key informs us that eating shellfish is also an abomination (Lev 11:10).
You may want to note its helpful advice on possessing slaves (Lev 25:44),
only applicable to neighbors, which in your case might be Mexicans, rather
than us Canadians. If all this curls your hair, sadly you are forbidden from
trimming your locks by Lev 19:27. Dr. Lawrence has all our sympathies.

We do manufacture other keyboards with advanced features. Dr. Lawrence
however being short-sighted in approach, asked for the Leviticus 
modification,
insisting that Lev 21:20 prohibited him from the altar of God with a defect 
in
his sight. Thank you again and trust you will consider being keybored or 
not.
   ---
FR.
-

>Hi Cornel,
>Please forgive Gilbert, it is the defective keyboard he is using. He meant 
>to type "you are a better Catholic than me" but the keyboard does not 
>co-operate. A good Catholic like Gilbert would not wear his religion on his 
>sleeve or berate others who disagree with him.Yes,  it is the fault of 
>Gilbert's defective keyboard manufactured by those immoral atheistic 
>homosexual smoking wife-cheaters.


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[Goanet] THE NEW GOANET !

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.


Dear Santosh,
I know you are referring to someone else with
a similar name. My presence on Goanet is merely
to be educated. I stand humbled before giants of
our time of Cyclopeian proportions like Goveia. Who
can resist his mighty intellect ? We never fail to be
continually amazed by his encyclopedic knowledge
of our universe - an avowed expert even on theories
and matters that will be discovered far into the future.

At the end times, like Hunt's immortal Abou Ben Adhem,
the Angel will say "And, lo! Goveia's name led all the rest!"

As for me, I am sure you must be mistaken - I do not
write anything of note, nor with any degree of talent.
As I have remarked to Roland, George, Jose and others
- if there is somebody masquerading as myself, projecting
me in a better light, then we must speedily unmask him !

Francis.
.

>Santosh Helekar wrote: I think the advent of Aristo, Selma, Francis, 
>Roland,
>Jerry and Kevin, and the re-emergence of Sunith has
>been great for Goanet. Their arguments have been
>extremely cogent, mature, well-articulated and
>beautiful. Nobody has been able to refute them.


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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY No. 21 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

DEAR AUNTY No. 21 - WEEKLY TOP 12:
_

1. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm a penniless baker. No feni too. Should I just give up ?   Cajie
...
Dear Cajie:   If you have no cashew will always knead the dough !

2.  DEAR AUNTY,
I'm housewife. I "knock-knock" your advice how to buy good bananas. De Mello
..
Dear De Mello: "Knock! Knock!..."Who's there?"...De Mello!..."De Mello who?”
 Arrey,De Mello ones are the yellow ones!"

3. DEAR AUNTY,
Which my girlfriend make me high - Marie-Isabel or Marie-Celeste?   Rastaboy
..
Dear Rastaboy: Neither. Go for Marie-Juana !  (marijuana!)*

4. DEAR AUNTY,
   Why did the combi and combo wear thick glasses to the exam?   Pulis
...
Dear Pulis:   Because both were combi-nerd ! (combinad=pair o' crooks!)*

5. DEAR AUNTY,
Zany Question:Why did Bombay Duck ? Cookie

Dear Cookie: 'Cos it saw Chilly Fry !

6. DEAR AUNTY,
So the International Vegetarian Congress is being held in Goa! How come
most veggies are non-violent i.e. full of nothing but hot air?Bajie
...
Dear Bajie:  Because, dear - veggies are very peas-full !

7. DEAR AUNTY,
Did you know all our Goa church icons are being stolen by dwarfs?  Chotta

Dear Chotta:  Oh, so that's what it was all along - miniatures !
 (miniatures=mini-chors!)*

8. DEAR AUNTY,
Don't you think before they're married, all girls should be chaste?   Virgo
...
Dear Virgo: My friend, talk rubbish like that, and you'll be chased !

9. DEAR AUNTY,
Who's that girl who got drunk at your party on mango pickle ??Misha
...
Dear Misha: Ha ha ! I think you mean 'Miss Kut ?!'
 (kut=booze; miskut=mango pickle!)*

10. DEAR AUNTY,
New casinos for Goa!! 2 questions - how to stop my wife losing at gambling,
and what to wear - I luv T-shirts, but T's have no pockets for cash!   Joe
..
Dear Joe:  Wear a cash-T. When wifey plays a wrong card, poker !

11. DEAR AUNTY,
Riddle:   What's the difference between a forger and a toddy-tapper?  Carlos

Dear Carlos: Haha !  One fakes money and the other makes fenny !

12. DEAR AUNTY,
Why did DHL and Blue Dart close their South Goa branches ?Eugene

Dear Eugene:   Easy !  Because Salcete is full of Correias !
   (couriers!)*

Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.


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[Goanet] POLICE FUNNYMEN 2!

[Francis Rodrigues]

Helga/Sonia/Floriano,
I do try to see reality in perspective - the lot of a 3rd World
policemen is an untenable one. My experiences with them
in Goa has not been salutary. I have battled them in the
streets, courts, stations as the frontline of a business family,
(despite being an NRI), my folks having prevented me from
further confrontations these last few years. Oh certainly
KPS Gill was an able administrator, let down by the dodgy
bits, like propping a stooge to effectively ruin Goa hockey!

Floriano is being economical with the truth, when he says in
the same voice that Goa police should serve selflessly out of
loyalty and then goes on to blame crooked politicians for
ruining the police. Reality is crystal-clear. Virtually no third-
worlder chooses a career today for altruistic motives. Every
single choice is purely economical. An awful paradox known
for three thousand years - you must pay your guardians of
law and order extremely well, irrespective of what you pay
anyone else. The West realized this two centuries ago. The
Third World, having institutionalized corruption, remains blind.

FR.
..
Helga:
>Good point  Francis. Our halwaldars are very poorly paid while
>some of the IPS types enjoy the bribes and the bungalows. But whether its 
>because of their highly stressed but poorly paid jobs or just because -  
>some of them are very cruel and inhumane to the most helpless of them all - 
>the street kids,
>. My experience with cops in Goa have all been severely
unpleasant. How about yours? Most of us were poorly paid...
>
Floriano:
>We at goasuraj believe that if anyone wishes to join the police force, it 
>is because there is a basic instinct in them
>for understanding what is rightand what is wrong. And not to stop at mere 
>identificaton of right from wrong, the basic instinct must prompt the 
>concerned person to right the wrong. That is police instinct. In Goa, these 
>basic instincts are waylaidand those who are responsible for this to 
>come by are: Ranes, Parrikars, Khalaps,Narvekars, Narvekars, Shirodkars 
>Luizinhos Churchills and a host of them. In fact, the entire political 
>culture in Goa is responsible for the demoralized and inefficient police 
>force...
...
Sonia:
>Francis,
>I agree with you, Kiran Bedi is a person who did a lot of good work, Tihar 
>jail is one of her best examples. But KPS Gill although infamous for that 
>one incident, cleaned Punjab of terrorist activities and allowed the people 
>to live in peace.
...


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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY - No. 10: WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

 DEAR AUNTY - No. 10:  WEEKLY TOP 12:
 ___

1. DEAR AUNTY,
Our class-mate, a fake 'doctor/engineer', never completed SSC! Now he's on 
the run. How the Govt. allowed him to advertise as M.A., B.A.?   Godfrey-ji.

Dear Godfrey-ji: Nothing illegal! M.A.,B.A. = Matric Appeared But Absconded.
_
2. DEAR AUNTY,
I really want a baby. But I don't want to be pregnant. Can you help?  Anita
...
Dear Anita:   What do you expect me to be.. your expect-aunt ?!
_
3. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm a Jehovah's Witness. We're not allowed to use medicines, but now I'm 
very sick & dying. Aunty, please help me, please save me aunty !  Bittu.
...
Dear Bittu:   Wrong aunty. You need Aunty Biotic !
_
4. DEAR AUNTY,
Why did the goenkar dump his chick when she sat on his paint-box ?Mogi.
..
Dear Mogi:  Because she broke his 'kalliz !'  ...(colours!)..(kalliz=heart)*
_
5. DEAR AUNTY,
Churchill is back in Parliament ! But was he honest with us about MPLAD ?
To tell you the truth, for Goans, is he an asset or a liability ?  Thalmann
..
Dear Thalmann: Churchill's only asset is his 'lie' ability !
_
6. DEAR AUNTY,
Bollywood's love triangles are so boring. And why are they so messy? Preity

Dear Preity:  Because all love triangles turn into wreck tangles !
_
7. DEAR AUNTY,
I bangali babu come to solve goan's problems. I live on sex floor moti 
mahal, punjim. I reely likes your weakly colum, where I can mate you?  BB

Dear BB: Sorry mate, you can't. My ax boyfriend will make mince-mate of you!
_
8. DEAR AUNTY,
Whisky question: if Black Label is the Devil's Brew, what is VAT 69?  Mudd.
..
Dear Mudd: The Pope's telephone number !
_
9. DEAR AUNTY,
Huge rains are here, gastro in the air, sick kids everywhere, govt. doesn't 
care, isn't CM aware, what kids can get, from god knows where ??  Manohar
.
Dear Manohar:Sorry, only Rane knows !   ...("only runny nose!")
_
10. DEAR AUNTY,
Kenya get a direct flight Togo from Africa to Canada & how long is it? Mina
..
Dear Mina:   Oh it's so long that you just Ghana have Toronto the toilet !
_
11. DEAR AUNTY,
My girlfriend went to US to study. Now she doesn't write. I hear she has an 
American sugar-daddy. I want to txt her it's over. What msg to send ?  Alu.
.
Dear Alu:"Bye, bye, Miss American Pai.!"
_
12. DEAR AUNTY,
You've been driving people crazy for 3 months! Are you not 'finish'?   Ana
.
Dear Ana: No'rway !.but I have Swedish cousins!
_
Disclaimer: No personal replies. Post all problems online.'Goan Life' 
material all original & copyright. Forward with due acknowledgement:-))


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[Goanet] AUNTY AT THE BAZAAR :-)).

[Francis Rodrigues]

DEAR AUNTY,

Today I saw  East Indian aunty in a Toronto bazar,
Kitem muntta auntti, pettoi gue pontti, ami zataum kazar!
I ask:"Auntti, are you pulling my leg or putting in my ear?”
Aunttin mudlem “ Bhakri buddoin faido na, my dear!“

Aum: "Society no respect, diworce is fashion,
Is limboi the solution, or e-mail the question ?
Tempa pormannem, mateak kurponem,
Adim tem, atam em, auntti kith korchem ??"
  Silviano.

..

DEAR SILVIANO,

On the Sixth Night, ami soglle tight,
Soro ani bailo, turning hair white !
Enjoy today, don't think beyond,
For," Hear today, gone to morond !"

Aunty Ponty.
.


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[Goanet] *RE:Pellent*

[Francis Rodrigues]

I'm appalled.'Albert' and 'JoeGoaUK' are two of the most honest voices in Goan 
cyberspace today - telling it like it is. Setting oneself up as a 
self-pretentious authority,on the basis of vanity publishing, does not give 
Mr.Barreto (or whatever he calls himself) the right toindulge in gratituitous 
insults. Debate, if you can. Those who can, write. Those who can't, 
criticize.Before you pass summary judgement on another'sgrammar, Mr. Barreto, 
why don't you take a scalpel to your own samples below? It is not a requirement 
ofstanding for public office, that one be unnecessarily vile. 
Francis>Hey Albert >Apart from bad English, why can't you talk 
sense at>least once in your dozen postings?>I THINK what you write below is 
plain rubbish. I know >we have to dig a lot of sh*t hoping to strike gold. >No 
hard feelings. It's just my view. Do keep writing.>Best wishes >Tony... 
 > Dear JoeGoa de UK > If the life of a priest is so much of a luxury that> you 
picture in you post, you should certainly> encourage your son, if you have one, 
to be a priest.> There is a shortage of priests. Hope your post will> encourage 
many to take up priesthood.> Tony Martin> > 
Anthony M Barreto aka Tony Martin > Freelance Writer and Author > Galgibaga, 
Canacona, Goa -- 403728> M: 9422390701 R: 91-0832-2632012> www.canacona.net> 

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[Goanet] SCAM WARNING

[Francis Rodrigues]

The 'job offer' posted below (on goanet and other 
Goan forums too) is a rather dangerous con, known

to Western police depts. as the 'advance fee scam'!

Many in Goa have lost lakhs, including property and
life-time savings, to these con artists. The check/ 
MO sent by a 'customer' to you is fake - however US 
/Canadian and many Asian banks encash them at 
sight. The poor victim then unknowingly sends the
large balance immediately to the fraudsters, who 
are always abroad/in a different continent!


3-6 days later the bank discovers the original check is
fake, calls the police, and our poor victim is arrested, and 
jailed, if he cannot instantly return the whole sum to the

bank. He/she also gets charged for passing a fake check!

There are literally thousands of variations of these
scams, known collectively as the 'Nigerian 419' scam, 
since that's where they proliferated in the late-70's. The 
scam itself however, is at least a century old (known as 
the 'Spanish prisoner scam'), but has become a huge 
world-wide menace, with the advent of e-mail. Millions 
have been bankrupted. Simply Google 'Nigerian 419'. 
Hopefully, you'll be pretty mortified by what you see.


In the mail below, the scamsters are misusing the name
of a genuine business 'Costa Coffee', who have nether
knowledge of this scam nor a secretarial employee by the
name 'Brian Williams/Willis'! The mailing address too is fake. 
The tel. nos. listed are a dead giveaway , +44 is the UK code,

but any '7' digit thereafter (e.g. 704), is a premium-rate call-
transfer system - directly to West Africa!! As one involved
(in a small way) in busting these scamsters over 2 decades,
may I offer just a few very basic pointers:

1. Never give out personal banking/credit card information.
2. No international business uses free e-mail e.g. yahoo.
3. No genuine international business uses the kind of
services requested below, whatever the currency regulations.
4. If the deal sounds too good to be true, it's a SCAM!!!
5. The language is always ungrammatical! (att. Mr. Tony Martin!)

Fraudsters have been targetting mailing-lists for over a
decade now, and this is certainly not the first time for 
Goanet - at 10,000 subscribers, relatively very small-fry

for fraudsters. I've seen their work with massive 400,000
list subscribers, where their targets are arranged ever so
neatly, in pristine alphabetical order!! With a success rate
of over 5% with any list, the scamsters rake in billions of
dollars a year - all by instant bank transfer to West Africa,
far beyond the reach of Western law. This 'industry' is now
Nigeria's No. 1 foreign-exchange earner - though lots of
Eastern European and Asian crooks are in it now too!

It's intriguing how 'Mr. Brian Williams/Willis' became a 
Goanet subscriber, but really there's no way today of

vetting entries/subscribers to most mailing lists.

Francis
..

Message: 7
Date: Wed,  3 Jan 2007 13:14:33 +0100 (CET)
From: BRIAN WILLIAMS <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: [Goanet] COSTA COFFEE OFFERS JOB
To: goanet@goanet.org
Content-Type: text/plain

Costa Coffee,
Exporters of Cocoa.
20 Holloway Road,London,N8 8DB.
Company Reg NO: 3019628
VAT Reg NO:735 773 701
Phone: +44-7040 11 3801.
Fax: +44870-974-3658.

[Goanet] *A MERRY MAKING CONVENTION*

[Francis Rodrigues]

 Nasty,Give it a rest!Aires may not be a saint, but his guts, gumptionand 
resolve for our native land are unquestionable. 30 years ago, he fought pitched 
street-battles withriotous cops all over Goa for student concessions 
stillextant today. Since then he has been involved innumerous other public 
issues, the Ribandar molestationcase, Bainguinim and Sonsoddo pollution, Save 
Goaand RP-2011 cases, to name but a few. In all of thesehe has risked life and 
limb, with no pecuniary gainwhatsoever. Can you say the same about yourself?? 
Blindly spouting off to support a fellow-villager ismindless. This year's 
Convention was an absolutefarce. FYI, Aires has been an NRI in Canada and theUK 
more than you know - longer than those dubiouslocals who turned up to loot this 
Convention. Airesfights for the rights of the visible and silent majorities. 
When you can gather up even one-tenth of Aires'scourage, get your creaking 
carcass to Goa and fighteven one-tenth of the battles he has, then maybeyou can 
taste the 'bhakri' and 'lockup' you so easilyvisit on others. A little 
knowledge is a dangerousthing. 'The price of liberty is eternal vigilance'. 
Francis..>Nasty Caldeira:>Hey Aires (Rod)>You are casting aspersions 
about the Convention being>'Merry Making" without saying what its agenda 
or>planning should have been. You are not going to get>away with this. If I 
were the authority I would have>the likes of you, who try to 'HIJACK' a 
Convention,>for at least 'Three Days in Custody', where U would be>fed some 
nice 'free Bakri' all at Taxpayer's expense.>Then would you complain that your 
'lock up' is at tax>payers expense. Stop misleading people.  You took 
part>leading or otherwise in the 'Save Goa Campaign'?? Then>why did you want to 
hijack the Convention and try to>belittle the good efforts of Eduardo Faleiro 
and>company? You are probably jealous that you have been>unable to 'acheive' 
anything of the type. You are not>even an NRI, and yet you tried to foul the 
agenda and>the succes of the Convention. What a Shame!>Nasci 
Caldeira,>Melbourne Down Under. 
--
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[Goanet] **DEAR AUNTY No. 35 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))**

[Francis Rodrigues]

   **DEAR AUNTY No. 35 - WEEKLY TOP 12**
 _
 
1. DEAR AUNTY,
Kith go, no sign! Still giddy with your presents and Christmas tree?Pio
.
Dear Pio: Oi re pisha, I'm still in my Christmas holly daze !
__
2. DEAR AUNTY,
Is it true journalists ran from gun-toting cops at the NRI Convention?  Salu
..
Dear Salu:Yeah, they missed getting a bulletin themselves !
__
3. DEAR AUNTY,
Big mine-owners loot Goa, destroy lives and health, don’t care! Comment - Jo

Dear Jo:  "Great mines stink alike!"
(proverb:'great minds think alike')*
__
4. DEAR AUNTY,
Do you think by resigning, the TCP Monster Rat has gone underground?Rati
..
Dear Rati: Oh no, he's just lying low under a near Babush!
 ('..under a nearby bush!")*
__
5. DEAR AUNTY,
Was Mary Magdalene in the Bible a Marwari who was asked to convert?Selma
...
Dear Selma:  Yup, she was told: "Woman, go and Sindhi no more !"
('Woman, go and sin thee no more!')*
__
6. DEAR AUNTY,
My dog snores! Should my wife disturb it - or what to feed it?  Ken Tucky
.
Dear Ken:'She can nag it !'   ('chicken nugget!')*
__
7. DEAR AUNTY,
What's the difference JoeGoa's Bakery 7/11 and Rane's RP-20/11?   Zia
.
Dear Zia:One seeks to garnish our pao, the other to punish our gao !
   (pao=bread;gao='land')*
__
8. DEAR AUNTY,
What can we learn from Monserrate's ouster by the common people?   Oscar
...
Dear Oscar:"He who crores over others lakhs common cents !!"
__
9. DEAR AUNTY,
Question from my niece - who invented the three-wheeler?   Otto
..
Dear Otto:Haha !  Rick Shah !
__
10. DEAR AUNTY,
Why was Advocate Rodrigues expelled from the NRI Convention?  Nasci Caldin
...
Dear Nasci:Oh darling you know, ...he was too 'Aires'k !
('he was too hi-risk!’)*
__
11. DEAR AUNTY,
60th Independence Anniversary! Any lesson from our founding fathers?   Kalam
...
Dear Kalam: Gandhi cast evil out from the Nehru minds !
  ('Gun the caste evil out from the narrow minds!')*
__
12. DEAR AUNTY,
Gimme one of yr 'Famous Konkani Proverbs' to charm this pretty divorcee? Lui
.
Dear Lui:"A Mrs. as good as a Bile !" ('Bile'=wife)*
(proverb:'a miss is as good as a mile')*
__
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.
http://www.goanet.org/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=574
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[Goanet] *A MERRY MAKING CONVENTION*

[Francis Rodrigues]

Dear Mr. Caldeira,

Saddam Hussein has gone !! But you may remember his famous look-alike the 
"Soup Nazi", who terrorized NY ! "Soup Nazi" translates to "Nazi Caldin"!! 
Ring a bell? Your senile utterances and boorish behaviour do.


At the outset, let me clarify that Aires and I do not see eye-to-eye, over a 
property dispute between me and the owner of the 'River Princess'. But that 
doesn't detract from acknowledging the ferocious battles he has waged 
unstintingly on our behalf, over 32 years.


You started by voicing blatant untruths that Aires was not an NRI, merely a 
trouble-maker, etc. When you were shown to be wrong, you switched mode to a 
cacophony of shrill, rooftop abuse. Does it hurt so much to swallow the 
truth? Remove your dentures and give it a try, old feller. Floriano too has 
elucidated this point. George Pinto, Floriano, myself, and a host of others 
attended the 1st NRI Convention in 2001, excellently organised 
byAires Rodrigues! Today, the Govt. of India blatantly claims to be 
organising these Conventions - so, Nasci, who has hijacked what, from whom?


I did advise you, "Nasci mento", to check your facts, before shooting your 
mouth off! Right, uncle, switch on your pacemaker - since you're so skilled 
at bad-mouthing others, a few questions for you. What are your antecedents, 
which village do you actually come from?? A host of others (Cip, Bernado, 
etc), have also clarified Aires's undeniable patriotism - what have YOU done 
for your motherland Mr. N, other than crawling out the rock from 'Down 
Under', as you so blatantly advertise?


My sister is a surgeon in Melbourne (Langwarrin, Pindara), and, apparently, 
your geriatric antics are legendary! Time for you to team up with that 
Melbourne super-zero, Insp. ('Clouseau') Newton Filomeno, whose x-ray vision 
enabled him to see inside Zidane's head and lose his impartiality! Final 
error - Aires is NOT a journalist! A Mario Goveia you are not - even Houdini 
took his correspondence course!


Elsewhere on Goanet, Kevin has some sane advice for you - why don't you take 
him up on it? He's a respected vet, and highly skilled with porcine issues - 
a case like yours of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease is child's play for him. You 
know, there really is no need to be so "Nazi"mental!


With best wishes for a safe convalescence,

Francis.

.


Nassci Caldeira:



Hey Francis,



Eduard Faleiro or any of the polis and bureaucrats are
not fellow villagers of mine! And more importantly I
am not not "Nasty' like you certainly are. My name, I
put down as Nasci, that is short for Nascimento! Just
shows how biased and 'ROD" loyal you are in this
mudslinging! In this piece you Francis, have displayed
your 'True Colours' vis a vis bias towards comrade Rod.!
Hah Ha! What right has this Aires Rod the brat, to try to
hijack a well concieved Goan NRI Convention?? He certainly
deserves 'free board and lodge' at taxpayer's expense!




If your 'namesake' is so concerned about taxpayer's
money, then he should and you too should pay for all
of the Convention expenses! That will surely save the
Goa Govt. exchequer! Where in the world are
'journalist allowed to quetion proceedings at a
convention? Journalists are only allowed to put
questions after the event at a properly constituted
press conference! Tell, this to your Aires Rod,
please. Of course you are welcome to have your say!
but not welcome to call me 'Nasty'! How much 'LOW' can
a 'ROD' get? You have just so belittled yourself!
Nasci Caldeira.

[Goanet] Newton's Laws of Football Motion

[Francis Rodrigues]

 WWW.GOANET.ORG ** C O M M U N I T Y ** A N N O U N C E M E N T 

 Save Goa Campaign / Goa Bachao Abhiyan

  Report all violations of Hill-cutting, Coastal Regulation Zone (CRZ) 
 and other Land Use violations to:

Nodal Officer & District Collector (Goa) Mr. Nikhil Kumar
  Office: 2223612; Residence (after 8PM): 2420710; mobile 9822123071

Dear Newton,
 
Two icons.
Ananias and Mario.
 
Ananias (Acts 5:3), went down in history for his partiality to
blatant untruths. As Dominic would tell you "Thondavellear
samke jithe fotti bhair sortale". To put it mildly. Pinocchio.
 
The ill'rust'rious Mario Goveia (apparently besides Houdini,
even parrots take his correspondence course!), has most
fittingly often reminded us of the beauty of Goanet Archives.
 
I had already replied to you privately, explaining my differences
with Airesand that any mention of my sister was merely to
inform Nasci that his hysterical antics in Oz do not go unnoticed.
Any linking of the pair of you was merely in the legendary style
of the celebrated Fox and Cat from Carlo Collodi's'Pinocchio'!!
 
Here are 2 of your mails - one of yesterday,  one 6 months ago:
 
 1. dated 8 Jan ' 07:
 ".Moreover I havn't mentioned Zinadine Zidane in any of my
letters to the Goanet. So how come you refer my name to him
and in what context? I am still his fan and he is my most
favourite footballer ever!."
 
2. dated 11 Jul '06:
"..I am a qualified soccer referee for the past 22 years, and
that too in 3 countries, India, Oman and Australia. Your kind
explaination to Zinedin's insult and the repurcussions thereof
is  acceptable and condecending...He doesn't even deserve
to be give the honour of "The best Footballer of the tournament".
I would have given him a prize for the best "Faker of the tournament".
He would be better of as a "street fighter"! The goon!!!
Regards,
Newton Marques,
A professional Soccer referee attached to "Soccer Australia" in Victoria..."
...
 
Upon which you were bowled over by a stunning free-kick from
the lovely Afra Dias - Goanet Archives dated 13 July '06:
"...In my opinion Zidane should be given the golden boot AND
a Golden Ball for NOT killing him ON THE SPOT.
Afra.."
 
For the purists:
http://www.mail-archive.com/goanet@lists.goanet.org/msg00600.html
 
I understand Dr. Goveia and Dr. Lawrence have co-authored a paper:
"On selective amnesiac memory loss by supurlem Goenkar soccer
referees due to indirect heading of inanimate soccer balls2006"
Might be worth a read..  Anyway, as I ended to you privately:
 
'Okay, if you can explain why you made that uncharitable footballing
remark in July - 1. whilst you were still an 'impartial FIFA referee' -
and - 2. on a private forum where you thought FIFA would never
ever notice - well then, let's get that cuppa asap!'
 
I'm not sure Goanet can misused, as Nasci does, to besmirch others' 
reputations – be it Aires, or Zidane, or anybody else. Goans have 
elephantine memories. It's called 'pont' You sound like a particularly
nice gentleman, Newton, I'm sure the above was prob just an aberration. 
As for Nasci, I will have to talk to Kevin about getting him a decent
muzzle.
 
Francis.
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 WWW.GOANET.ORG ** C O M M U N I T Y ** A N N O U N C E M E N T 

 Save Goa Campaign / Goa Bachao Abhiyan

  Report all violations of Hill-cutting, Coastal Regulation Zone (CRZ) 
   and other Land Use violations to 24-hour Helpline  +91 9822684372

[Goanet] *A MERRY MAKING CONVENTION*

[Francis Rodrigues]

 WWW.GOANET.ORG ** C O M M U N I T Y ** A N N O U N C E M E N T 

 Save Goa Campaign / Goa Bachao Abhiyan

  Report all violations of Hill-cutting, Coastal Regulation Zone (CRZ) 
 and other Land Use violations to:

Nodal Officer & District Collector (Goa) Mr. Nikhil Kumar
  Office: 2223612; Residence (after 8PM): 2420710; mobile 9822123071

Dear Mr. Caldeira:  Patient No. X287H4IMNUTS:  My apologies. I did not realize 
you had recently escaped from Mental Asylum, Royal Health, Melbourne. When Dr. 
Velakoulis spoke to me tonight, all was revealed. Nasci, all is forgiven.  If 
your care-givers could call these nos, all arrangements will be made to net and 
return you to the RM's John Cade Bldg on Grattan St., Parkville. Tel. Nos: 
(+61)03-9342-8750/4033/4034. http://www.neuropsychiatry.org.au/  On a more 
serious note, since you are such a fanatical Bible- thumper may I draw your 
attention to John 8:44, wherein you have finally surpassed Satan himself as the 
'Father of Lies'. Here is a string of your recent lies, hyperlinked for 
reference:  1. Your lie that you did not call Aires Rodrigues a non-NRI: 
http://www.goanet.org/post.php?name=News&list=goanet&info=2007-January/author&post_id=052595
 2. Your lie that you did not infer Aires was a journalist: 
http://www.goanet.org/post.php?name=News&list=goanet&info=2007-January/author&post_id=052625
 3. Your lie that you did not shriek or talk gibberish of Aires: 
http://www.goanet.org/post.php?name=News&list=goanet&info=2007-January/author&post_id=052601
  Well, Nasci, in the immortal words of Lewis Carroll..."..The time has come, 
the Walrus said, to speak of many things..." When you first started posting to 
Goanet quite a while ago (you were still sane then), you thought to regale us 
with fanciful stories of your Loutoulim roots, re-building your house, blah, 
blah, blah. Then your spurious bike-rides to INS Hansa, Vasco, to see your 
sisters-in-law, blah, blah!  4. Today you deny that you are from Eduardo's 
Loutoulim: 
http://www.goanet.org/post.php?name=News&list=goanet&info=2007-January/author&post_id=052625
  It's curious that after 'emigrating' to Oz, you've suddenly become better 
than the rest of us Goans! Suddenly you are 'whiter than white', with the 
odious stench of a burra sahib. You screeched last year of staying at hotels in 
Mumbai and Goa, where the 'drips' inside disturbed you, and the dirt outside 
nauseated you. You found/find fault with our roads, our traffic, our religions, 
our places of worship, our milk, our water, our groceries, our markets, our 
very way of life!  You - who grew up in Goa, and have now become a repulsive 
white kangaroo! What a master hypocrite. You have the chicken courage to rant 
at us from 'Down Under', but don't have the guts to spout your anti-Goan 
gibberish on the streets of Goa, where you will be promptly lynched. Like any 
modern- day Jebel, you cannot lift a finger to help our beloved motherland. 
Ever heard of 'Facta Non Verba'? I doubt it.  You have the nerve to indulge in 
private flaming and public abuse, with your unctuous 'holier than thou' 
attitude. Fine. It's time to make public all your abuse, anti-Goan tirades and 
sheer lies and finally nail your hideous hypocrisy to the post. Being 'white' 
does not give you immunity from the truth.   The difference between 
intelligence and stupidity is that ...intelligence has a limit. You Nasci, 
have neither.   Francis.  >Mr Rodrigues,> >Tu kitea mhunta rea? All the 
aspersions stuff u have>subscribed to me below, is not from me at all; >You 
seem to be well versed with Terrorists!>Rod of Moses thinking wallah cannot 
match Nazi Caldin,>specially when prepared by Nasci himself! >You shall 'see' 
presently: who is senile and boorish!>I did not say that Aires was not an NRI 
before, in the>past! Is he now?? What has my village or antecedents >got to do 
with the arguments re this issue? I think the >Feni has got to your head!>>Who 
said Aires is a journalist? Humm? I was referring>to a report that said 
'journalists were not allowed to>question" during the Convention. Hah Hah! What 
bad>comprehension! Even if I had the time, I would not>give you free lessons,as 
your mouth stinks! >Francis, by now you have truly confirmed yourself! Are>you 
a brother of Aires? Are you from  Cortalim/>Quelossim where some of the 
'Rodrigues' are gaunkars?>Just asking!  
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Re: [Goanet] *A MERRY MAKING CONVENTION*

[Francis Rodrigues]

 WWW.GOANET.ORG ** C O M M U N I T Y ** A N N O U N C E M E N T 

 Save Goa Campaign / Goa Bachao Abhiyan

  Report all violations of Hill-cutting, Coastal Regulation Zone (CRZ) 
 and other Land Use violations to:

Nodal Officer & District Collector (Goa) Mr. Nikhil Kumar
  Office: 2223612; Residence (after 8PM): 2420710; mobile 9822123071

Nasci,
 
Drop dead!
You lied and tried, blustered and flustered - and got nailed.
 
Every morning hundreds of thousands of hard-working parents
all over Goa wake up and give thanks for saving yet a few
more hard-earned rupees from their children's bus-fares that
day - precious pennies that will buy another meal, some flour,
perhaps another pair of shoes. Over 32 years, this daily savings
has worked out to hundreds of crores of rupees!! Next time you
squawk, remember we owe this saving grace to Aires Rodrigues.
 
Before you embarrass yourself again online, remember never to:
1. Besmirch another's reputation.
2. Gratuitously indulge in personal insults.
 
If you jest, be kind. For a man's good name is his most prized
possession. Next time you may not be so lucky. As for the rest
 
I've had an early-childhood long allergy to the fruit of the vine!
The merest sip or sniff of even sherry triggers blinding migraines.
Regretfully I've never had your good fortune to enjoy the liquid
heaven of a melting malt, a lingering lager, the stirring potency
of a bracing brandy, a fine feni. So regrettably, your drivel below
makes no sense at all. If the urge returns, re-read my first sentence!
 
I'm not going to twist the nail further.
Requeiscat in pacem.
 
Francis.
...
> Hey Francis,
> 
> It's good to know that 'you have lost the plot'!
> Next time stick to 'facts' and the issue being
> debated; else you be 'forever in the Asylum' you
> already are in!
> 
> As some help to you may be, let's drop this chain of
> emails, and start afresh, in a good manner without
> hallucinating. My advice: drink very little alcohol
> and never go to Psychiatrists! They will make you more
> mad! Madder than U already are. But do go 'In Peace'!
> and remain committed to only the 'issue at hand' without
> sidetracking or going on a tangent. U will then be OK to
> debate wisely, without 'emotion' and guilt!
> Nasci Caldeira
> Melbourne, Down Under, Paradise yet!
_
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 WWW.GOANET.ORG ** C O M M U N I T Y ** A N N O U N C E M E N T 

 Save Goa Campaign / Goa Bachao Abhiyan

  Report all violations of Hill-cutting, Coastal Regulation Zone (CRZ) 
   and other Land Use violations to 24-hour Helpline  +91 9822684372

[Goanet] Fwd: 'Save Goa' Signature Campaign

[Francis Rodrigues]

  http://www.GOANET.org 


This month's Goanet operations sponsored by Mrs. Daisy Faleiro



 To sponsor Goanet operations, contact [EMAIL PROTECTED]


 Dear Friends, I have just signed a signaturecampaign to save goa from a very 
destructive RegionalPlan 2011. If you'll also want to contribute in savingGoa 
from the destructive Regional Plan 2011, please goto the Website 
http://www.savegoa.com and sign. you'llwill also get the details of how this 
Regional planwill destroy Goa.  The Goa Regional Plan 2011 spells disaster for 
theecology, environment and the people of Goa. It hasbeen drafted with the 
purpose of selling Goan land tothe highest bidder and, in the process, 
destroying theGoan way of life.  What it will do to Goa? - Deplete natural 
resources like forest cover, etc.leading to ecological imbalances. - Allow new 
settlement areas that will turn greenareas into concrete jungles - Create 
pressure on already saturated infrastructurelike water,electricity, sanitation, 
waste disposaletc. as the new settlement areas will be moreresource-intensive 
compared to the existing mainlyrural settlements. 
 - Increase the migrant population along with theaccompanying social problems 
like increased crime,begging, etc. - Create a false, sudden boom followed by an 
eventualcrash in the building and real estate industry. What you can do to 
avert this catastrophe? - Learn more about it. http://savegoa.com/index.php isa 
good place to start - Educate people around you on the ifl-effects of thisplan. 
The first step in this direction could be tosend out this email - Vote and vote 
wisely - Do not seethe with anger if you receive this email,or if you receive 
it more than once. This is not apolitical campaign. It is doing our bit to 
protectourselves and the deastruction of our Goan villages 
and Goan identity. Save Goa!!! Pls send this mail to all the Goans you know.
Thanks and Regards, Aulito 
_
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[Goanet] **DEAR AUNTY No. 36 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))**

[Francis Rodrigues]

  http://www.GOANET.org 


This month's Goanet operations sponsored by Mrs. Daisy Faleiro



 To sponsor Goanet operations, contact [EMAIL PROTECTED]


   **DEAR AUNTY No. 36 - WEEKLY TOP 12**
 _
 
1. DEAR AUNTY,
I saw this Tiatr "Go Ratnagiri, Bhail Dadagiri"–but what about the kids? Sid
.
Dear Sid:   Of course! "Go Ratnagiri, Bhail Dadagiri, Bhurge Monte de Giri!"
__
2. DEAR AUNTY,
60th Independence Anniversary!! Where've all the Gandhis gone, Aunty?? Nehru
...
Dear Nehru:   To Goa! Millions of 'gantiis' pouring in every day!
__
3. DEAR AUNTY,
What's difference between an Excise-checker and Chancellor of Exchequer? Roy
.
Dear Roy:  One picks the feni, the other fix the penny !
__
4. DEAR AUNTY,
My fishery pal always listen to coral on beach, never share with me! Why? Mo

Dear Mo:  He shell fish with his shell-phone !
(He sell/sel fish with his cell-fone!)*
__
5. DEAR AUNTY,
Silly question!! My Biology teacher asks - why do cats dislike onions ?  Pia
.
Dear Pia:  Silly answerBecause the piao makes them miao !
 (piao=onions!)*
__
6. DEAR AUNTY,
With the advent of air travel - how did Indians rise to the skies?   Tatti

Dear Tatti:Haha !  Air-India batata !
(Air-India by Tata!)*
__
7. DEAR AUNTY,
See Maria aunty's crying - why Uncle eat at Elsie's Udupi gado, not hers? Jo

Dear Jo: He didn't like Maria in distress, so he grabbed sambar de Elsie's!
 (he didn't like ma rear in this dress, so he grabbed somebody else's!)*
__
8. DEAR AUNTY,
News! "Babush fronts Babu!" Can I give this risk a big question-mark? Brisco

Dear Brisco:  "Dear Babush likes to frisk, doesn't want his big *asterisk!"
__
9. DEAR AUNTY,
If you be's so clever, write a punny line on our Indian sweets!   Gulabi

Dear Gulabi:   So chikki ! If jelly bees too peda-r, ladoos halva burfi !
   (So cheeky! If jalebis too pedear, let us have a barfi !
(pedear=spoilt)*
__
10. DEAR AUNTY,
Why do your gaudis wear their tiffins while working in the fields?   Beyonce
.
Dear Beyonce:Haha ! I guess they really like to 'shake their booty' !
(booty=tiffins)*
__
11. DEAR AUNTY,
Why you keep punning Mario? He's white with fright tonite in Jabalpur! Jose
..
Dear Jose:  O no fear! A Punjab ain’t Khalistan!
 ('a pun, jab ain’t curl-his-tongue!')*
__
12. DEAR AUNTY,
Is it true more folks go bald and wear topis and wigs in North Goa?Toklu
...
Dear Toklu: Yes, toupee is very important in Bardez !
   (to pee is very important in bar days !)*
__
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.
http://www.goanet.org/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=574
_
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[Goanet] *MILESTONES*

[Francis Rodrigues]

  http://www.GOANET.org 


This month's Goanet operations sponsored by Mrs. Daisy Faleiro


Folks,
 
Two of Goanet's most prolific posters celebrate
their birthdays within a week of each other - Kevin
Saldanha on 23rd Jan. and Roland Francis on 30th!
 
Kevin crosses the Gold standard, Roland half a dozen
on - more power to both quills. Taking a cue from
JoeGoa and Silviano in invoking 'Feppi Boddei", from
 
Goanetters and GNATetters,
 
Ad Multos Anos !
 
FR
_
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[Goanet] **DEAR AUNTY No. 37 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))**

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

To Goa with Love - Three unique Valentine Day packages from EXPRESSIONS
  Say "I Love You!" in style this year
   For details, photos and pricing check out:

 http://www.goa-world.com/expressions/valentines/

   **DEAR AUNTY No. 37 - WEEKLY TOP 12**
 _
 
1. DEAR AUNTY,
I've invented a car that runs on limbu-soda! What shall I call it?  Lamani

Dear Lamani:  Oh, that's so 'lime'! So you want me to say'Lim-ca'??
___
2. DEAR AUNTY,
I baizuan NRI, want to marry Indian lady, but only bossy type! Advise.  Alu
.
Dear Alu:   Haha ! So you really want to get 'desi-mated’ ??
  (desi=local!)*
___
3. DEAR AUNTY,
News! "BJP making voters swear loyalty oath on raw coconut!" Comment.   Auda
..
Dear Auda:  Oh the Election Commission will 'naal-ify' all such votes !
  (naal=coconut!)*
___
4. DEAR AUNTY,
My cousins are in love, meet secretly in the wet fields! What next??   Pina
..
Dear Pina:   Hey, you know the saying "Khazan - khazan, makes dozen !!"
(khazan=wetlands!)*
___
5. DEAR AUNTY,
How did the guests ask for more Cheddar at the Cobbler's Convention? Amul
..
Dear Amul:"Mochis please !"   (mochi=cobbler!)*
___
6. DEAR AUNTY,
"Three Partagali Mutt priests caught gambling in Maruti van!" Comment? Bhatt
...
Dear Bhatt:   Why all the fussafter all it was the 'mutt-car'!
(mutt-car=matka=illegal bets)*
___
7. DEAR AUNTY,
Help me with an English example of a multi-lingual oxymoron !Rani
..
Dear Rani:Okey-doke!  "It rained incessantly without paus !"
  (paus=rain!)*
___
8. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm going to Potta - to give up smoking! What to read on the bus?   Biddy
...
Dear Biddy:   "Hari Potta and the Chamber of Cigarettes !"
___
9. DEAR AUNTY,
Why did the groom throw the foul-mouthed bride out of his limo?   Cecil
...
Dear Cecil:   Haha!  Her gaddi was too much for his gaddi !
(gaddi=car=foul language!)*
___
10. DEAR AUNTY,
What did the NRI Commissioner call all us NRI's and ex-Bharatis?  Heneri

Dear Heneri:Old joke!  Hindustan Lever !!
___
11. DEAR AUNTY,
Isn't the CM No. 1? I wanna loot Goanese, gimme Goa CM's e-mail id. Diliwala
..
Dear Diliwala:  [EMAIL PROTECTED]  !
___
12. DEAR AUNTY,
It's Raksha Bandhan! Can I send flowers to your Ben Antao in Toronto?  Bhai
..
Dear Bhai:Stop 'phooling' around! Mr. Antao is not my 'ben' !
   (phool=flower;ben=sister/Guj.!)*
___
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.
http://www.goanet.org/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=574
_
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Re: [Goanet] Goanet Digest, Vol 2, Issue 134

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

To Goa with Love - Three unique Valentine Day packages from EXPRESSIONS
  Say "I Love You!" in style this year
   For details, photos and pricing check out:

 http://www.goa-world.com/expressions/valentines/

"Sovkas uloi punn sott korun chint. 
(Talk slowly but think quickly.)" ?? 
 
Domnic, 
Could you qualify the last part of your translation above? 
I'm no Konkani lang. genius, but I was taught otherwise. 
 
Mog assundi, 
Francis. 
.
> From: "domnic fernandes" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>> Subject: [Goanet] AICHEA DISAK 
> CHINTOP - Fevrerachi 5vi, 2007!
>> Sovkas uloi punn sott korun chint.> > (Talk slowly but think quickly.)> > 
>> Moi-mogan,> > Domnic Fernandes> Anjuna/Dhahran, KSA
_
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[Goanet] **LOST IN TRANSLATION**

[Francis Rodrigues]

***
* G * O * A * N * E * T *** C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *
***
 T H I SS P A C EC A NB EY O U R S
  Advertise your Product(s) and  Service(s) on Goanet
 &   S u p p o r t   G o a n e t   o p e r a t i o n s
   F o r   d e t a i l s   c o n t a c t  : [EMAIL PROTECTED]
***
Thank you, Santosh - course, Dominic is right! Just trying to get a rise out
of him - the betting at our last GNAT dinner was that I couldn't ! Even our
most eminent Goan author present (not VRR!), opined that Dominic never
favours anybody with a reply. Thank you too, Dominic - your vast erudition
on Goem, surpasseth human understanding. Now that I have your attention:
 
Does Goan culture/folklore actually contain all these thousands of proverbs/
idioms/sayings, you've quoted daily, in Konkani, for the last few years as
'Aichea Disak Chintop'? If so, the mind boggles, at our vast mother-lode,
compared to other cultures!! If not, do you source these yourself, render
them colloquially,and then reverse-engineer? No harm in that, except perhaps
essentially they would not be 'ours'. As in the present case "sott korun
chint" which you’ve presented colloquially, though examples exist elsewhere:
 
http://www.senate.chula.ac.th/self_managed.ppt#273,18,Slide 18
 
Do not be alarmed at my query. I love your daily quotes, look forward to
many more. Mine is just a curious, logistical inquiry. You will excuse me
for sounding irreverent. Just a quirk. I could never be a writer like you!
 
I tried writing a histoire on the rigged 1963 elections, titled it "Me-Lov-
It", and sent it off to NY. Imagine my surprise a few weeks later, to find
my novella set back 30 years, the new author even reversing my dear title
("Me-Lov-It" became "Ti.voL.eM"!)and it was climbing the NY Times best-
seller list! Ah well, I gave the few dog-eared copies of "Me-Lov-It" to Goa
Sudharop's George for Mervyn's next X'mas raffle. That's irreverence.
 
The dear one who writes so oFN, invites me to join his group, never follows
up - mebbe thinks I'm not a write-r, just a wrong-er, haha! Do you, Dominic?
 
Kind regards,
Francis.

>From: Santosh Helekar <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Francis,
>Domnic is right. Sott korun means quickly. There are
>many words for quickly in Konkani, probably more than
>in English...
>Cheers,
>Santosh
>
>From: "domnic fernandes" [EMAIL PROTECTED]
>Francis,
>Perhaps you would like to translate and share with us how you understand it
>I again remind Goanetters that a word for word translation from Konkani to
>English and vice-versa is not possible.I am not an expert in Konkani but am
>trying my best and doing my bit.  Constructive criticism is always welcome.
>Moi-mogan,
>Domnic Fernandes
___
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Re: [Goanet] Goans - Cooks n Butlers

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

  Flat for Sale: Mapuca, Goa (Ansabhat) - 10 min walk to Mapuca Market
  2 Bedroom-Living-Dining-Kitchen-Bath-Balcony-Terrazo Floors
 Great Investment - Winter Getaway
  Asking Canadian $ 31,500/-  or  Indian Rs 10 lakhs

Contact Rosario Fernandes - [EMAIL PROTECTED]

Counselor,

Both your appendices are vague to the point of varnish.
Roland is right. That infamous 'quote' is an urban myth -
perpetrated by Portuguese apologists - of which I may
or not be one! Time for the well-fed Carmo to up his
wind-blown kashti  and head for Ontario, via Nassau!

FR
___


>From: "Jose Colaco"
>
> BTW: those remarks have been reported by a well known Goan Canadian
> intelectual who has a history of close association with the Goa Freedom
> Fighters and anti-Salazar intellectuals in Goa.(vide appendix 2 infra)
>
> Is Roland Francis saying that Lino Leitao has made this up from thin air?
>
> I do not know about others but it does appear to me that Roland Francis 
> has
> lost this "challenge" with K3.
>
> Time to pack your bags and masala, old chap. The net is full of recipes.
> K3's mouth is watering. Hopefully, Roland can cook.
> 

Re: [Goanet] We Goans ARE ALL Born for Greater Things !

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.

Dear Carmo, 
You've prob. seen both of today's separate reports on 
IIT Mumbai and IIT Chennai. Is it possible that all IIT 
alumni are particularly delusional/reclusive/suicidal online? 
 
Here's the 1st report, next follows.
 
Way to go, dude! 
 
Francis.
___



Full Story can be found at http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?NewsID=1084328

IIT Mumbai restricts Internet in hostelsBy - Reuters
MUMBAI: One of India's top engineering schools has restricted Internet access 
in its hostels, saying addiction to surfing, gaming and blogging was affecting 
students' performance, making them reclusive and even suicidal.
Authorities at the elite Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) in Mumbai said 
students had stopped socialising and many were late for morning classes or 
slept through them.
"Now, a student doesn't even know who lives two doors away from him because he 
is so busy on the Internet," said Prakash Gopalan, dean of student affairs.
"The old hostel culture of camaraderie and socialising among students is gone. 
This is not healthy in our opinion."
IIT Mumbai, with about 5,000 students, is one of seven IITs across India which 
are considered to be among the finest engineering schools in the world. They 
are also a talent pool for global technology giants.
But their exacting curriculum, tough competition and reclusive campus lifestyle 
have taken a toll on students.
Depression and dysfunctional lifestyles are known to be common among IIT 
students, and at least nine have committed suicide in the past five years.
IIT Mumbai has seen two suicides in two years and several attempts.
Students have unlimited free Internet access in their hostel rooms to help them 
in their studies, but many also use it to surf, chat, download movies and 
music, blog and for gaming.
Starting Monday, Internet access will be barred between 11 pm. and 12.30 pm at 
IIT Mumbai's 13 hostels to encourage students to sleep early and to try and 
force them out of their 'shells', Gopalan said.
"There has been a decline in academic performance and also participation in 
sporting, cultural and social activities has gone down," he said.
But the move has not gone down well with students who say they hate their lives 
being regulated.
"Now they will say we need to listen to a lullaby to go to sleep," said Rajiv, 
an electronics student who gave only one name.
Student anger has also spilled on to several blogs run by IIT alumni where 
bloggers say "the birth of the virtual world had led to the death of the real 
selves", but add that they resent regulation of students' activities.
Gopalan said authorities at the other IITs were considering a similar curb in 
their hostels.= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = 
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =For news updates throughout the day, visit 
dnaindia.com= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = 
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
© 2005-2007& Diligent Media Corporation Ltd. All rights reserved

> From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; goanet@goanet.org; [EMAIL 
> PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL 
> PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL 
> PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL 
> PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]> Subject: We Goans ARE ALL Born for Greater 
> Things !> Date: Sun, 11 Mar 2007 04:58:44 -0500> > Arnold,> > We Goans ARE 
> ALL Born for Greater Things !> > Sure are forefathers toiled hard as 
> Africanists, Shippies and Gulfies. We > have acknowledged this in our 
> previous posts. They have not been derided.> > We cannot go on forever doing 
> these menial jobs. Sometime this viscous cycle > has to be broken and the 
> TIME IS NOW !> > When the highest educated Chief Minister in the country, 
> IITian Manohar > Parrikar takes over as Chief Minister of Goa in a few 
> months, he will > highlight what Goan Youth can do with an IIT degree or by 
> just staying on in > College and going on for an advanced degree. When 
> college-educated Goan > Youth start flying off to America on academic 
> scholarships and for high end > jobs, it will clearly mark the end of menial 
> jobs like Shippies or Gulfies > for Goans. We can leave these jobs to the 
> other communities and come back to > Goa as captains of industry ! That will 
> mark a paradigm shift in Goans' > as

[Goanet] **IIT Nitwits - Pass or Fail??**

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.




Dear Carmo, Here's today's 2nd media onslaught on the IIT. Did you receive the 
first? Apparently no-one wants IITians any more! Do you think it's because they 
might be NIIT-WIITs?  Best retards,  Francis. _ Full Story can 
be found at http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?NewsID=1084221

Are coaching factories tarnishing brand IIT?Bhamy ShenoyAt a recent event 
organised at the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) in Chennai, Tata Steel 
managing director B Muthuraman expressed disenchantment with its graduates. "We 
are not likely to recruit them any longer," he said, adding his company 
preferred students from other colleges, who, though less endowed, were more 
amenable to company training. IIT guys tend to think too much of 
themselves.Reality is that brand IIT thrives on its past reputation. The Tata 
Steel chief, recalling his recent interaction with some final-year students of 
IIT Chennai, observed they could not even name the authors of the subject books 
they were supposed to have studied. He later found out that the students were 
able to clear the tests without having to read books. He was in for further 
shock on discovering that their teachers were no more knowledgeable about the 
subjects they were supposed to teach.A reason for this sorry state is in the 
method students adopt to get admitted to IITs. On the one hand IIT admissions 
have been praised for being free from corruption and undue interference. 
Surveys by foreign universities ranked IITs quite high. And yet a section of 
corporate India is sceptical of IIT graduates. Why? Because most of them resort 
to coaching shops to gain entry into IIT. Tough standards set by the examining 
board drive students to coaching shops, to secure high ranks in the Joint 
Entrance Exam (JEE) and, once in IIT, these students tend to ignore the rigours 
of higher education. Around 95 per cent of the candidates seeking admission 
into IITs go through coaching shops, paying high fees. The amount of money 
spent by IIT aspirants attending the coaching factories is about Rs20 billion 
per year. About 160,000 students take JEEs and 3,500 are admitted to the 
IITs.The distorted impact of assembly line coaching taken by candidates is 
indicated by the percentage of students admitted to IITs from different states 
in southern India. During a recent year under review, 979 candidates from the 
south zone secured admission. Of them, 769 were from Andhra Pradesh. Andhra 
Pradesh may well be producing bright IIT entrants, but those from the other  
states can't be that poor. Mushrooming of IIT tutorials and coaching factories 
in Hyderabad may have much to do with the JEE results. During the past 21 
years, coaching for IIT admission has become the norm. Candidates who are into 
IIT coaching right from their final schooling years have put IIT tuition before 
their studies.  The all-important entrance tests system has resulted in 
producing IIT aspirants with a one-track mindset. By the time they start 
studies at IITs, they feel burnt out. These students are good at the technique 
of answering questions, without grasping the underlying concepts. IIT 
professors have written many papers criticising the present competitive testing 
procedure.Instead of giving ranks purely on the basis of JEE performance, IITs 
can adapt multiple criteria, giving a weighted score. Some of the criteria are 
JEE test scores, some marks for showing leadership qualities, marks for 
demonstrating social concern and talents in sports, arts, etc.Bhamy Shenoy is 
an alumnus of IIT Madras and an energy expert. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = 
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =For news 
updates throughout the day, visit dnaindia.com= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = 
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
ゥ 2005-2007& Diligent Media Corporation Ltd. All rights reserved.
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Re: [Goanet] ** Nitwits**

[Francis Rodrigues]

Carmo,

In New Jersey, dogs are now allowed to bark for only half an hour. After 
that they are summarily taken down to the precinct and shot. Given your 
cacophony, that law is being extended to Indian Harbour.


You 'claim' to 'be' an IIT alumnus! Any institution that 'produced' you, can 
only be one for the criminally insane, one that needs to be swiftly closed
down and all inmates fed rat-poison. It is an immutable law of Nature that 
if one has achieved greatness, no boasting is necessary. Obviously you fail.


I do not have to publicise my degrees, not even the Law one in Toronto that 
gives me the freedom, nay the right to sue the pants off you and the
pathetic little fake institution you claim to 'work' for. Why don't you 
publish more slander??


Let's tackle your questions of my sporting interests and intelligence. I'm 
not even going to mention soccer, tennis, etc., but your pet peeve - 
hockey!! During the brief period I transited thru' Goa, I played enough 
hockey to be on the winning Inter-Collegiate teams (St. Xavier's), the 
Elitel, etc. I played centre and inside-left. It's common knowledge that 
only the quadriplegic play goalkeeper, due to their lack of mobility and 
intelligence - ring a bell?? Or did you take too many shots to the head?


Intelligence. 25 years ago, I was crowned Goa State chess champion. 
Runner-up was Hafiz Karmali, a genuine IIT alumnus, who had stood 2nd in the
Western India JEE!! Check it out. Debate Mersenne or challenge me online. 
I've been FIDE Zone 4.2 President, played at the Elista Olympiad in Russia.


Current pics of me on the net show a fit, healthy young stud - of you there 
is only a paunchy, misshapen likeness, glaring in its hideous dress sense.

Here is Carmo Da Cruz in all his pompous, bombastic splendour !
http://coe.fit.edu/se/images/D%27Cruz_small.jpg

Don't even go near our bloodlines or materialism. We've lived in enough 
lands to effectively buy and sell you and yours at a loss. On your part you 
claim to be related to mass-murderer Britto. Well done. If all you can do is 
kiss up and suck up to icons of clay, you would be better off in the 
elephant

section of Florida zoo. At least their trumpeting is genuine. Yours stinks.

Francis. 

[Goanet] **MILESTONES**

[Francis Rodrigues]

  Many Happy Returns To Goanet's 
 
   Grand Young Man of Letters: 
 
 
 
   **MARIO GOVEIA** 
 
   18th March 2007. 
 
 
 
Whatever would Goanet be without him! 
 
If you can make it to Toledo, OH, the party's 
 
on Merrimac & Christie Dr., off Kenwood Blvd.! 
 
 
 
And belated greetings in the last few weeks to 
 
Lino, Teotonio; and Gabe Menezes (27 Feb). 
 
Can't imagine Goanet without you guys! 
 
   Parabens!! 
 
 
 
FR.
_
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[Goanet] **AUNTY ON VACATION**

[Francis Rodrigues]

  http://www.GOANET.org 


   This month's Goanet operations sponsored by an Anonymous Donor


Dear 'Aunty' fans everywhere,
 
All yer dudes, from A to Z (Alfred/Stockholm, Bosco/TO,
Carmo/Fla..to Zeno/Mexico!), we're touched by your
concern for Aunty's health, given her prolonged absence!
 
'Aunty' isn't 'dead' yet - not by a long chalk, just that
she and I have had a difference of opinion - kinda we're
not speaking to each other, haha...! I'm only her scribe
you know, and not supposed to express an opinion, but
I've generally found her to be rude and crude, uncouth
and unfeeling, obnoxious and obstreporous! When I made
my views apparent, unfortunately it didn't go down well!
 
I am penning this brief note to all her crazed fans who've
written in, explaining her enforced 'vacation', and perhaps
to make amends by agreeing to take more dictation with a
henceforth closed mind! Whaddya know, I understand even
Churchill (who was one of her favourite targets) remarked
to a group of buddies that Goanet Aunty had gone missing
and had probably taken 'sanyas'!! Little does he know..
 
'Aunty' should be back at Easter - trite, banal, cheesy, inane
and bumptious certainly, but without a doubt - far, far worse!
 
Kator re baji!
 Francis.
_
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[Goanet] **DEAR AUNTY No. 38 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))**

[Francis Rodrigues]

  http://www.GOANET.org 


   This month's Goanet operations sponsored by an Anonymous Donor


   **DEAR AUNTY No. 38 - WEEKLY TOP 12**
 _
 
1. DEAR AUNTY,
Two whole months you away! Why were you mum? Or were you dead?Miss Singh

Dear Miss Singh:  Hey stupid, get real !  I'm Aunty, not Mum...or Dad !!!
_
2. DEAR AUNTY,
I famous tiatrist, wrote patricide novel. Gimme fake title/name.  Antony San

Dear Antony:"How to Mother your Father" by Anoty San !
*("How to Murder your Father" by A. Naughty Son)
_
3. DEAR AUNTY,
My sister has many evil boyfriends – does she have weevils in her head? Bug
.
Dear Bug:   Probably! That's why she's so borod-minded!
   (borod=weevils!)*
_
4. DEAR AUNTY,
Election time! Goa politics stinks, so what you think of Goa Su-Raj? George

Dear George:  Repeat the Su- twice to know why Goa politics is a SewerRaj!
_
5. DEAR AUNTY,
Hey, did you notice - we're 2 Fredericks now on Goanet! Bothers you? FN & FM
..
Dear Freddies:  If either of you bugs us too "FN", that'll be the end "FM" !
   (if either of you bugs us too often, that'll be the end of him!)*
_
6. DEAR AUNTY,
Good Goan eggs are gone! You think the bhailes been stealing them?   Tantia

Dear Tantia:  Definitely! These outsiders are just 'anda-goondas'!
  (anda=egg; goonda=thug;)*
_
7. DEAR AUNTY,
My internet boyfriend’s so crude!! Do computers make people cracked?? Monita

Dear Monita:   Careful sweetie!  He just might be "a-nerdy" pervert!
  (annadi=rascal!)*
_
8. DEAR AUNTY,
How come doctors never get sick from patients?! Whatever do they eat?  Picao
...
Dear Picao:  Curds !! Never heard of "Every doc has his dahi !" ??
(Proverb:'every dog has his day"!)*
_
9. DEAR AUNTY,
Our priest breaks wind loudly during sermons. Oops! What's your opinion? Foz
.
Dear Foz: He's bilingual !
_
10. DEAR AUNTY,
We ate sweets at Geno Pharmaceuticals, now we got ill! Will we all die? Sikh
..
Dear Sikh:  Hopefully not - that would be Geno-cide!
_
11. DEAR AUNTY,
My aunt gossips, yet says she’s holy & speaks in tongues - what kind?  Surup
...
Dear Surup: Forked !
_
12. DEAR AUNTY,
I wants open Chinese gado in AVC. Where you suggest/what you think?  Lee Poi
.
Dear Lee Poi:   Velim-Velim-good !!
_
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with 
acknowledgement.http://www.goanet.org/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=574
_
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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY No. 22 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.

DEAR AUNTY No. 22 - WEEKLY TOP 12:
_

1. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm a peon, but my pal always calls me a bhangi ! Can I bang him up ?   Pius
..
Dear Pius:  Bhangi'm up if you want, but please don't peon him !

2. DEAR AUNTY,
What happened?? No more multi-lingual Eng-Konkani "knock-knock” gems?? Assis
...
Dear Assis:"Knock! Knock!"..."Who's there??"..."Ass !!"..." Ass whom??"
"Arrey pisha"Assum re, knock-knock puro zalem!"

3. DEAR AUNTY,
I wants music ring-tone "Sa-ri-ga-ma" for my cell. Are you listening??  Pia.
.
Dear Pia: Sari, rawng number !

4. DEAR AUNTY,

From Goa to Delhi - what news of the Goa governor's love of dog-meat! I'm

keenly following his progress - what do you call this kind of love? JoeGoaUK
.
Dear Joe: Ha ha ! Puppy love?? Stop dogging his footsteps!

5. DEAR AUNTY,
Who's that rocket lady who yells at us when Mass starts ??  Misha
...
Dear Misha: Ha ha ! I think you mean 'Miss Iley ?!'
  (missile'y=mass has started!)*

6. DEAR AUNTY,
Why do you always make fun of us Sikhs??  'Granth'ed we're naturally
dumb, can't you find words of wisdom in your own Holy Book? Banta
...
Dear Banta: As in "Sikh & you shall find"? Oh that's such a Sikh joke, haha!


7. DEAR AUNTY,
This controversy about 'opmus' garb - are confrarias caste-based?  Ethel
...
Dear Ethel:   Yes - that's why they get 'up mos' people's noses !!

8. DEAR AUNTY,
My homey's girlfriend tried to knife him. When she failed, she then tried to
swallow a packet of needles. What can she possibly be charged with?Balu
..
Dear Balu: 1. Homey-cide.  2. Sui-cide.   (sui=needle!)*

9. DEAR AUNTY,
Why are undertakers in Goa never poor? Kane
..
Dear Kane:   Because they keep pedo-lling the same candles at all funerals !
(pedo=undertaker)*

10. DEAR AUNTY,
It’s disturbing to hear from distant Brazil of Remo's backstage controversy
with the TV channel. How can we Goans help him from so far away ?  Rima
..
Dear Rima: Use your Remo-te control ??

11. DEAR AUNTY,
Where in Goa can I exercise vocabulary & build great puns like yours? Pundit

Dear Pundit: Pun Gym is a capital place to start !
  (Panjim=capital of Goa!)*

12. DEAR AUNTY,
Riddle:   Why shouldn’t you mention Goa sausages in a police station?  Porky
...
Dear Porky:Because shouting "chor.is.aum" is an admission of theft!

Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.


___
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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY No. 23 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.

 DEAR AUNTY No. 23 - WEEKLY TOP 12:
 _

1. DEAR AUNTY,
Thank you for mentioning our new clinic 'Tooth House' online!  Dr. Hubert
...
Dear Dr.Hubert:  Dant Mansion, OK ? (dant=tooth)*

2. DEAR AUNTY,
You "knock" me out ! What about some movie thriller "knock-knock"s?  Hero
..
Dear Hero:  "Knock! Knock!""Who's there??""Dish!""Dish whom??"
   "Arrey."Dishum, dishum, outto tum !"

3. DEAR AUNTY,
What's the difference between a Goan chair-maker and a cake-baker?Pitto
...
Dear Pitto:  One has makes of cadeira and the other has cakes of madeira !
   (cadeira=chair)*

4. DEAR AUNTY,
Mai says I'm a noose round her neck - is this a positive sign?  Isob
..
Dear Isob: Remember, a mai-noose is always a negative sign !
(mai-noose=minus!)*

5. DEAR AUNTY,
My brother fought with his fiancee. Now both are moping. I know he loves her
very much. To pour oil on troubled waters, shall I go and tell her?Olive
...
Dear Olive: Yes, Goan tel - its the best solution ! (tel=oil)*

6. DEAR AUNTY,
Why did Tom Cruise & Katy Holmes give their new baby the nam Suri?   Kator
...
Dear Kator: Because Surinam is famous for its cruise homes !

7. DEAR AUNTY,
Oh, I love your Goan undertaker (peddo) jokes ! Tell me, how come, despite
all the funerals they attend, peddos are always outwardly jolly?Modde
...
Dear Modde:  Because their insides are full of 'sorrow' !
(soro=liquor!)*

8. DEAR AUNTY,
Did Ghandi want Goa because it's the Rome of the East?Romeo
...
Dear Romeo:  We'll be Roam'in east, if we keep Latin all these 'ghandis' in!
  (ghanti=outsider)*

9. DEAR AUNTY,
Are you lonely? Then you can have my boyfriend Sanches ! He's become boring
and a real pain now. Take him - otherwise what hope you have, aunty?   Lola
..
Dear Lola:   Honey, you take your Sanches and I'll take my chances !

10. DEAR AUNTY,
I never heard Hindus sell beef, you know of any Muslims who sell pork? Imran
...
Dear Imran: Mrs. Choris Khan !   (choriskan=sausage-seller)*

11. DEAR AUNTY,
Could you answer some school "knock-knocks" for our Sawant sir? Lulu
..
Dear Lulu:  "Knock! Knock!"..."Who's there??"..."Sawant!!"..."Sawant who??"
"Arrey."Sir want to see who's making noise in class!"

12. DEAR AUNTY,
Riddle:   What's the difference between a Goan gran and a Goan flan?   Ann
.
Dear Ann: One's a zan-ti and the other's a ti-zan !

Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.


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[Goanet] IT's & NIT's on GOANIT !

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Enjoy your holiday in Goa. Stay at THE GARCA BRANCA from November to May
 There is no better, value for money, guest house.
  Confirm your bookings early or miss-out

  Visit http://www.garcabranca.com for details/booking/confirmation.


Dear Ballbir Sing-jee,
Didn't you know?? We have to put all the IT's and NIT's of
St. Stanislit's into the Indiin hookah team. You are fail man -
waat 1962 Olimpics! All is fail. No isty-wristy dribbling baba.
No hokey ishtick - we need pogo-stick. That way we jump
over all the opposition, even in Log Sabha. Didn't you know?

Ballbir Sing-jee, you don't mind please! This Goanit is only for
our personal corrispondense. Write how you feels. In fact rite
a book or two. You are fail man. Didn't you know?? Sissy-teams
enginiiring is solution to all world's problems and Indiin hookah
team. In this world only 2 teams - St. Stanislit's and Karagpura.
Both are sissy-teams enginiiring. And don't bother about these
altu-faltu Goanitwits. Write all your personal corrispondins here
as tho they don't exist - incl. all your love-letters & dhobi receipts.

Call Vici to open our boje hookah akdemi in Fluoride Beach, Panjub.
Didn't you know?? It will be the twin of ours Indiin Beach, Fluorida!

Sat Sri Akaal ! Sat OnMa Cykaal !

Dr. Carma Carmeleon.


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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY No. 24 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

DEAR AUNTY No. 24 - WEEKLY TOP 12:
_

1. DEAR AUNTY,
Is the caste system fair–how do you tell who is of the highest caste?  Costa
...
Dear Costa:  No casti-gations! Highest is the one with the lowest caste...y!
_
2. DEAR AUNTY,
Can you pls "knock - knock" to help me get on to the internet ?   Cleo
..
Dear Cleo:  "Knock! Knock!"."Konn?".."Clee!"."Clee konn?"
   "Arree, pisha...Click on the icon, to get on !!"
_
3. DEAR AUNTY,
My teacher says I have low IQ. Now she says "1Q+1Q=took you, haha!" Huh? Shy
.
Dear Shy:   She  1 - 2 - 3Q !  (she want to trick you!)*
_
4. DEAR AUNTY,
My dad wants to go watch the new "Pirates of the Carribean" movie. He's
over 65, can he get ticket discount? Pai doesn't have school uniform!  Motto
...
Dear Motto: If he wears his pai-jamas, he'll be able to get the 'pai-rates!’
_
5. DEAR AUNTY,
My hubby has a large 'pot' & a small rear. I walk in front/behind him? Sutli
...
Dear Sutli: In front. When he follows, he'll be your 'hatli-potli !'
   (hatli-potli=baggage!)*
_
6. DEAR AUNTY,
My aunty is cleverer than you ! With a few sips of feni, she can foretell
the future i.e. she sips and predicts ! Now, you tell her name ! Sabrina
.
Dear Sabrina:Aunty Sip.it ?
 (anticipate!)*
_
7. DEAR AUNTY,
What's best for my complexion - ambil or pez or soap ?Sundori
.
Dear Sundori:   Pears soap! It ap-pez ambil-ding a beauty column here !
_
8. DEAR AUNTY,
Have you heard of these 100 bai's being made Goa life-guards?? Won't their
hubbies be jealous of their wives?? Almost like a soap-opera!  Lifebuoy
..
Dear Lifebuoy: Watch out for these 'wife-guards'! They’re from "Bai-watch!!"
_
9. DEAR AUNTY,
What's the difference between a bull-trainer and the gravedigger's dog? Mamu
..
Dear Mamu: One paces the reddo and the other races the peddo !
  (reddo=bull; peddo=gravedigger)*
_
10. DEAR AUNTY,
Is it true heaven above is home to the best spirits ?Bebdo.
...
Dear Bebdo:  Yep. Both 'holy' and 'alcoholic'! That's why heaven is sor.gar!
(sor=booze; gar=home)*
_
11. DEAR AUNTY,
I need to 'go' urgently! Do a mutilingual "knock-knock" for me? Mutthu

Dear Mutthu:  "Knock! Knock!"."Konn?".."Pee!"."Pee konn?"
 "Arreey...Pick on somebody your own size, okay ?!"
_
12. DEAR AUNTY,
Why do the Frenchies never serve our famous Goan pork wines ?Vinicola
..
Dear Vinicola:Hell !!! Can't you translate this - 'vin.da.loo' ???
_
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.


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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY No. 25 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

DEAR AUNTY No. 25 - WEEKLY TOP 12:
_

1. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm bakin' pork ! If a guest "knock-knock's" how I explain the smell?  Seby
..
Dear Seby:  "Knock! Knock!""Konn?""Bay!""Bay konn?"
 "Arree, pisha..Bacon vas, dukhra mas !!"
__
2. DEAR AUNTY,
In which Goan newspaper can I speak my ghantti views loud and clear?  Murali

Dear Murali: Go.man.talk  Times !!
__
3. DEAR AUNTY,
I don’t understand. Bihar is India’s most criminal state – so why did the
Tatas locate their most expensive steel plant in Jamshedpur, Bihar?  Iona
..
Dear Iona:   So the Biharis can make iron and steal !
__
4. DEAR AUNTY,
Our Pad Vigar celebrates 50 years! What fruit to put for the offertory?  Jen
.
Dear Jen:   Pad.ponos !! (Breadfruit!)*
  (Ponos=50;Pad=padre)*
__
5. DEAR AUNTY,
so much times i am obseviing uncle in ur old car, but never he goes to the
petrole station or any methane he fills. does he put ethyl in your car? pete
..
Dear Pete:   No, he takes her to the hotel !
__
6. DEAR AUNTY,
Which is the oldest Goan newspaper we have heard of ?   Joe
.
Dear Joe: Don't you remember 2000 yrs ago-"Herald' we have heard on high..!"
__
7. DEAR AUNTY,
Haha ! So can you name one of "Herald's" early headlines in 1 A.D.?  Joia
..
Dear Joia:  "Devout family Goa way to Egypt - infants Herod in'Mass'murder!"
 ('Herod'=harried!)
__
8. DEAR AUNTY,
Many expressions have parallels in other languages. Can you tell the Konkani
equivalent for the English exclamation "Oh my sainted grandmother !"?   Eva
.
Dear Eva:   It's."Avoi-s !!"  (avoi=grandmother!)*
__
9. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm a young seminarian from Rachol. Can I date this Saligao nun?  Bro. Sina
.
Dear Brother:Yes, but don't get into the habit !!
__
10. DEAR AUNTY,
The blind World Chess event’s being held in Goa ! Aunty, I've fallen in love
with this cute Italian competitor, in glasses. Is she a chess master?  Buddu
...
Dear Buddu:  No, idiot - she's a chess.miss, haha !
 (chessmiss=bespectacled!)*
__
11. DEAR AUNTY,
I would love to gift you some jewellery! Do you like gems ?   Gemma
...
Dear Gemma:Yes - raspberry, strawberry and Kissan !
__
12. DEAR AUNTY,
Our Industries Minister must quit! What to suggest? He really should be gone
‘cos he's so full of gas !! Can he enter movies - what movie then?   Gaffino
.
Dear Gaffino: How about "Goan, with the Wind"?!
__
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.


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Re: [Goanet] Aunty's Quips

[Francis Rodrigues]

Arnold / Fred,

I've only just returned, but thank you kindly. Spent the
morning in a 'yarmulke' at a Jewish 'kadish', family friend
who passed away. The cantor was quite outstanding.

I do have enormous fun writing 'Aunty'. Goa, and its
gorgeous people and customs provide an oustanding fund
of endless delight. Oh, and I absolutely adore Damon Runyon.

When I was little, one of his bubbly stories in particular took a
certain hold of my imagination, which has lasted to this day.

' "Son," the old guy says,"no matter how far you travel, or
how smart you get, always remember this: Some day, some-
where, a guy is going to come to you and show you a nice
brand new pack of cards on which the seal is never broken,
and this guy is going to offer to bet you that the Jack of
Spades will jump out of this pack and squirt cider in your ear!"

'"But, son," the old guy says, "do not bet him, for as sure as
you do, you are going to get an ear full of cider !" '

That quirky electric image of spitting cider pretty much sums
up Runyon's creative gift. Bierce's economy of language too
remains, with his sardonic style, ideals of which I remain in awe.

Kind regards,

Francis.
...
From :  Arnold Noronha <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent :  October 9, 2006 6:16:31 
PM To :  [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject :  Aunty's Quips



Hello Francis:


I presume you're the brilliant sole author of all  these cute
catechisms of rib-tickling Aunty's Aphorisms.  I get a big kick out of 
these sparking gems of humour and also learn much  about Goa's idiom, 
jargon and local politics. I hope one day you could compile them into an 
anthology of "laughing matters" for bibliographical publication.


Years ago, there was a 20th century journalist/humorist named Damon Runyon 
in New York who covered the Big Apple scene during the Great 
Depression using the endemic brogue. In his quaint style, Runyon's short 
stories were hilarious and tearjerking too with his gangster 
imbroglios replete with dramatic enigma, 

pathos and humaneness. Hopefully you'll consider someday prod-
ucing short stories/novellas in a similar vein. You've obviously got 
the unique talent and are well-versed in both English and Konkani.


It could be the ideal way to expose vibrantly for  the world's 
enter-tainment and edification the wealth of Goa's rich history and 
traditions in the light of its unique customs, sociology and folklore. This 
may be the "Open Sesame"  to provide a lasting 

instrument to preserve Goa's charming culture for posterity.

Keep up the good work.

Regards
Arnold

-

From: "Frederick \"FN\" Noronha" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: "Arnold Noronha" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
CC: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Re: Aunty's Quips
Date: Mon, 9 Oct 2006 23:54:39 +0530



Hi Arnold, You're right. I like Francis' writing too. But it reminds
me of Ambrose Bierce and what little I read of him:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambrose_Bierce
FN

...


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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY No. 26 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

DEAR AUNTY No. 26 - WEEKLY TOP 12:
_

1. DEAR AUNTY,
Why don't you become a mine-owner ? You sound so strong ! Dempo
...
Dear Dempo:  Idiot ! You think I'm made of iron ore what ?!

2. DEAR AUNTY,
Is Dr. Willy devout? Will he serve us well after the next elections?  Fatima

Dear Fatima:  God Willy-ing !

3. DEAR AUNTY,
Yr Biblical headlines are crazy! What Herald say re. Gethsemane diss-ent? Jo

Dear Jo:   "Diss-ciple in kiss-tanv betrays master for 30 pieces - De Silva"
   (kesstanv=argument)*

4. DEAR AUNTY,
Our Gauddis gave the world 'gaudy' colours! And our Kunnbis?Jakin
...
Dear Jakin:"Kunnbi-f !"  (corned-beef!)*


5. DEAR AUNTY,
Elections coming! Why all our politicians jumping like frying pappadums? Rem
.
Dear Rem:Don't you get it - it's nothing but a papod-show !
(puppet-show!)*

6. DEAR AUNTY,
I hear you used to act as a tragedy queen ! What was your stage-name?  Boyer
...
Dear Boyer:'Tia-triste !!"  (tia=aunt; triste=sad)*

7. DEAR AUNTY,
Did you make fun last week of us nuns and seminarians?? Don't think we're
all tolerant and sweet!! Beware! You want your eyes cut out??Sr. Succour

Dear Sister:   Oh, so that's the origin of 'nun.cut.eye' sweets, haha !
   (nankhattais=oval sugar-pastry)*

8. DEAR AUNTY,
My cousin Cynth's always telling me to be a goat ! I'm so sad. Help!  Santu
...
Dear Santu: Haha! 'Ghott' is strong - you don't get 'Cynth.meant ?'
 (sinthment=sentimental)*

9. DEAR AUNTY,
Is it true we party-loving Goans are mentioned in Shakespeare ?  Brian
...
Dear Brian:  Yes! e.g. "partying is such sweet sorro!”(sorro=booze)*
 (Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet..."for parting is such sweet sorrow..")

10. DEAR AUNTY,
North Korea goes nuclear!! What does Uncle think of their intentions?   Kim
..
Dear  Kim:  Uncle says they're 'uncle.ar !!'

11. DEAR AUNTY,
Help! My house on fire! Can you "knock-knock" for fire-brigade help?  Laila
...
Dear Laila:"Knock! Knock!"..."Who's there?""Laila!".
  "Who's Laila?""Arree, pisha.uz laila, ghor lassla !!"
 (uz laila, ghor lassla=set fire, home burnt!)*

12. DEAR AUNTY,
Do you think Gov. Jamir would throw Jesus to the dogs if he was Roman
governor instead of Pontius Pilate - what headlines in ancient Rome?   Rover
...
Dear Rover:  "Gov dog-ged by controversy-washes hands off preacher's faith!"
 (fate!)*

Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.


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[Goanet] DEAR AUNTY No. 27 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

  House for Sale: Recently restored and renovated 350 sq. mtr
   Antique Type House on 1,125 sq mtr property in Coimavaddo, Aldona
  No brokerage offered. Serious buyers only

 Visit http://www.goa-world.com/goa/aldonahouse for details

 DEAR AUNTY No. 27 - WEEKLY TOP 12:
 _

1. DEAR AUNTY,
I got Portuguese passport, now I go London. Can I be white janitor?Gaja
..
Dear Gaja: No, but you will be Europe peon !!
_
2. DEAR AUNTY,
We're Hindus, but Goans too ! Pls., a "knock-knock" for us?  Dinesh Pai Kane
..
Dear Mr. Kane:   "Knock! Knock!"."Konn?".."Kane!"."Konn Kane?"
"Arree, pishaKon-kani amchea bhas, hainai ami dukhra mas!"
_
3. DEAR AUNTY,
Will Churchill take Rane or Joaquim's help to win against Luizinho?Joe
.
Dear Joe:  Stop 'joaquim' around! He'll just 'rane' away to avoid 'luizin'!
_
4. DEAR AUNTY,
What's the difference between an upper-caste girl and your sister?Sudra
...
Dear Sudra: One's a Bamoin, and the other's 'ma boin !'
_
5. DEAR AUNTY,
All over Goa, all feni makers and nut-pluckers on strike - why?   Cazu Beeyo
..
Dear Cazu:  Haha !  Because they're.'cashew-all' workers ??
_
6. DEAR AUNTY,
I married that fishergirl! Now she locks me out of the house. Help!   Martin

Dear Martin: 'Issvonn' do !  'Bangdde' door down !!
("This won't do! Bang the door down!"isvonn=kingfish; bangdde=mackerel)*
_
7. DEAR AUNTY,
This guy Caesar - was he stabbed over a language issue or over the Roman
Konquests? Do you have the Biblical headlines for 44 BC? Mark Antony
..
Dear Mark: "Julia's Scissors in murder over Roman Konkanists" Bruto Da Costa
_
8. DEAR AUNTY,
Why do Bardez kids always draw US maps - they want to migrate there?  Miguel

Dear Miguel: Don't you get it - most are from MapUSA !
_
9. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm an old BAG (Born Again Goan). Pls. find for me a good poti !Ankvar

Dear Ankvar: Best match for an old BAG is an old SAC(Sworn Again Christian)!
 (poti=bag=husband)*
_
10. DEAR AUNTY,
I gave my bebdo friend feni in an old glass. But he left half. Why?   Fenu.
..
Dear Fenu:  Maybe he didn't feni-sh because he was too feni-cky?
_
11. DEAR AUNTY,
The World Cricket Cup is on, but our Indian bowlers struggling. We know
how to bowl offspinners and legcutters, but how to 'bowl inners'?   Rahul
...
Dear Rahul: Send to Goa! We have know-how to 'bol-inas !"
_
12. DEAR AUNTY,
Don't you think a Hindu priest more suitable for this new 'Hindu' Mass? Buta
..
Dear Buta:  But you know the bhatt will be the butt of much ridicule !
_
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.

_
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[Goanet] **DEAR AUNTY No. 28 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))**

[Francis Rodrigues]

  **DEAR AUNTY No. 28 - WEEKLY TOP 12**
_

1. DEAR AUNTY,
You know to make canji? If you're true Goan aunty, who’re yr ancestors? Rosy
..
Dear Rosy:Pez.aunts ! (peasants! pez=rice porridge)*
__
2. DEAR AUNTY,
Why does every pop band festival end up in fights and brawls? Remo
..
Dear Remo:  Because it's a 'beat show', haha !
__
3. DEAR AUNTY,
Check your stars - will an Indian "Khapri" be our next sports star?  Siddhi

Dear Siddhi: "Knock! Knock!""Konn?""Khapri!""Khapri konn?"
"Arree, pisha...Capricorn, a star is born !!"
__
4. DEAR AUNTY,
Your Biblical headlines are hilarious!! How about Mangueshi temples? Delilah
.
Dear Delilah: "Samsung ponda's hair-loss on temple !!"

 (Samson & Delilah; ponda's=ponders)*
__
5. DEAR AUNTY,
What are the physical and financial dangers of wearing tight cashtis?  Carmo
...
Dear Carmo: Cash-tration !!   (Cashti=Goan briefs!)*
__
6. DEAR AUNTY,
Was journalist Simon knocked out by the Chicalim sarpanch Raul because
he 'named' the corrupt 'panchas'who sold out to Pinky Shipyard?   Willy
...
Dear Willy:I guess only the 'pancha-namer' can tell us that !

  (panchanama=official report)*
__
7. DEAR AUNTY,
Why do people confuse between 'ladies room' and 'ladies tailor'? Dorji
...
Dear Dorji: Because both are "sew, sew" places !
__
8. DEAR AUNTY,
Ivanna Furtado new world under-8 chess champion!! How did she do it??  Joe
.
Dear Joe: Her motto: "I.wanna  For.ta.do my best!"  Congratulations, Ivanna!
__
9. DEAR AUNTY,
You know our real village Goenkars are big on dung. Lemme ask you – what’s
that lighted ornament hanging from the ceiling in gauddi houses?   Qunby
...
Dear Qunby:Ah.that would be the shend-elier !! (shend=dung)*
__
10. DEAR AUNTY,
Could you pls tell me the formula of your fantastic fish-curry?   Dan Brown
...
Dear Mr. Brown:   Sorry! Like your Da Vinci, it's in a secret-ycode-y !
(codey=curry!)*
__
11. DEAR AUNTY,
What do I call this noise my Dad sings loudly in the bathroom? Hema
..
Dear Hema:Pop song ?!
__
12. DEAR AUNTY,
Husbands are go-getters, so we call them "Go" in Konkani ! Could you name
some of the most famous & popular husbands in Goan society today?  ReGo
..
Dear ReGo:  Tasty hubby = Man Go;  Drummer hubby = Bon Go;
  Beatle hubby = Rin Go; Friendly hubby = Ami Go;
__
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.

_
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the creative potential of today's youth? Check out Mobile Jam Fest for your 
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[Goanet] **DEAR AUNTY No. 29 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))**

[Francis Rodrigues]

  **DEAR AUNTY No. 29 - WEEKLY TOP 12**
_

1. DEAR AUNTY,
"Karl's Ginza doing well in Vasco!!" But why is his kitchen so noisy??  Sopi
..
Dear Sopi:I guess he's making a big 'Karl din !!'   (caldin=soup !)*
_
2. DEAR AUNTY,
My boyfriend wants to take part in next year’s Carnival Parade wearing tin
items and a steel pot on his head! Which category is he eligible for?  Tina
..
Dear Tina:'Hundi-capped ?!' (hundi=cooking vessel)*
_
3. DEAR AUNTY,
What's the difference between a Goan bootlegger and a Goan undertaker?  Pedo
..
Dear Pedo:   Haha!   One bakes the toddy and the other takes the body !!
_
4. DEAR AUNTY,
Goans can't get By without their maids, they all call us "Bai" in Konkani !
Could you name some of the most famous maids in our Goan society?Nyarbai
.
Dear Nyarbai:   Door maid = Der bai;Sleep maid = Lala bai;
   Mother & daughter =  Mum.bai;   Club maid = Kudd bai;
  (thereby; lullaby; Mumbai; goodbye)*
_
5. DEAR AUNTY,
Why was the bhatt (priest) upset at my Bamon cock-tail party ?  Baccar D
..
Dear Baccar D:  Because his shendi fell in the shandy !
(shendi=hair-tail; shandy=rum-mix)*
_
6. DEAR AUNTY,
I big NASA.u dotor, but likes to be silly! I upsets peoples. Now I go my
Florida home. Give me daily morning prayer to see error of my ways.  Jose.
..
Dear Jose:  Sing the US anthem every morn! It starts "Jose can you see..?!"
   (Oh say=Jose!)*
_
7. DEAR AUNTY,
Many my Goan friends txt 'R.A.J.A' at lunchtimes - I don't understand!  Jaya
..
Dear Jaya:Hey, Annama, it's Konkani "Arreey jeiya !!"
 (come let's eat!)*
_
8. DEAR AUNTY,
Did you know Wendell Rodricks' middle name is Martin? "Knock-Knock" that!Pio
.
Dear Pio: "Knock! Knock!"..."Who's there?"...Martin Wendell !"….Martin
 Wendell who??"….  "Arree pishaMutton Vindaloo, just too hot for you!"
_
9. DEAR AUNTY,
Headlines"SSC students caught copying in school office".How they cheat? Fatu
..
Dear Fatu:   Haha !   'Fotoi-copier??'(Fotoi=cheat/lie)*
_
10. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm back - I'm the seminarian! Now I've fallen in love with a catechist, tho
she's very tiny. Who to choose, the sister or my new half-size love?   Sina.
..
Dear Sina:   Dude!! Remember the proverb "Half a love is better than nun !"
_
11. DEAR AUNTY,
What's the difference between Goan sweet sellers & marble-soda makers?  Pina
..
Dear Pina: One sells corm-bolas and the other sells bomb-colas !!
  (cormbolas=Xmas sweets; bomb-colas=old bomb sodas!)*
_
12. DEAR AUNTY,
Bush burns fingers in Senate elections,gives me massive headache! God, quick
send Moses to help Bush and me !! Headline it in 'Herald 1450 BC'!Mario.
...
Dear Mario:"Moses speaks to burning Bush - God gives two tablets  !!"
_
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.

_
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[Goanet] **RIGHT, SAID FRED**

[Francis Rodrigues]

Carmo,

Bosco has put it succintly.
Fred does not moderate your post (as of Sept), preferring
instead to wield his mighty pen in fresher fields. He couldn't
have put it better himself. It's time, "Right, said Fred !!"

Despite your penchant for winding up others with your
inestimable fiction (the Goan-East Indian rivalry?), I enjoy too,
the fact that you take very little umbrage at personal criticism.

In this at least, you seem to be following Fred's dictum - Write !
In a dozen years online, Fred has been responsible for encouraging
a whole generation of latent geniuses to touch-type and blossom.
"Write, said Fred !"

http://www.rightsaidfred.com

Francis
.

>On Sun Nov 12 09:55:02 PST 2006, CARMO DCRUZ wrote:
>Attn Bosco and Fred of Goanet:- this is my rebuttal to Edwin's post below 
>that was full of name dropping and factual inaccuracies. Since you accepted 
>that post, please ensure that my above rebuttal is not rejected  - 
>otherwise Goanet will be viewed as taking the side of inaccurate posts to 
>embellish and that is not fair. Thanks.
>
>RESPONSE:
>Carmo,
>Instead of preaching to Goanet and Goanet moderators, do yourself, Goanet 
>and Goanet moderators a favour. When posting to Goanet, please 
>observe.the following Goanet Rules and Regulations at:
>http://www.goanet.org/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=9
>Thank you - Bosco
>Goanet Admin
>--

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[Goanet] **CHRISTMAS KAMAT ONCE A YEAR!!**

[Francis Rodrigues]

Truly, Christmas Kamat once a year !
You can't miss this Indian X'mas - enjoy !!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE


Francis.
.

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[Goanet] **DEAR AUNTY No. 30 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))**

[Francis Rodrigues]

 2006 * * * Y  E  A  R * * * O  F * * * T  H  E * * * S  E  N  I  O  R

Goa Sudharop Annual Awards on November 20, 2006 @ Mandovi Hotel @ 4:30pm
Chief Guest: Dr. Asha Vishwanath Sawardekar

A series of essays as a tribute to Goan Seniors can be found at:

 http://www.goanet.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=524

  **DEAR AUNTY No. 30 - WEEKLY TOP 12**
_

1. DEAR AUNTY,
Aikunn ge! If Dr. Willy stands again in Saligao, will you oppose him?  Sally
...
Dear Sally:  Willy or Won't he??  Aunty'll I know, Aikunn't commit !
_
2. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm sitting on my bund, looking all around. Who goes through my pand?? Pulis
...
Dear Pulis:"Knock!Knock!""Who's there?""Pand!""Pand who??"
  "Arrey, pishaPandu Hawaldar, voita Zanzi-bar!!"
_
3. DEAR AUNTY,
Can King Momo come for our May Queen Ball to crown Miss Carnivore XL?  Jen
.
Dear Jen:   If he falls for her, he may be May King a big Miss Steak !!
_
4. DEAR AUNTY,
Were Vasco gals encouraged to commit suicide by drowning in olden days? Sati
..
Dear Sati:Yes, dear! That's why it's called Mor.mu.go  Harbour !!
 (mor.mu.go=kill yourself, girl!)*
_
5. DEAR AUNTY,
I’m making Portuguese passport with this advocate. His secretary’s really
pretty, but very deep! If I propose, how can I attest her true feelings? Loy
.
Dear Loy:   "Notarize !"   ('note her eyes !!')*
_
6. DEAR AUNTY,
Who always supports the Varca strongman – the Church or the people??  Padkur

Dear Padkur: Weak or strong, our Church'll always have the masses !!
_
7. DEAR AUNTY,
Do Goans use 'mother' for dudes as well as chicks, like Americans do?  Zanti
...
Dear Zanti: Yup! We call old guys Mother-O, and some mother things !
(mataro=old guy!)*
_
8. DEAR AUNTY,
My sister's upset why you made fun of marble-pressed sodas ! Now she wants
her own press as her boyfriend is threatening her for exotic drinks!! Jemti
..
Dear Jemti:   Tell her not to get soda pressed ! He doesn't want tequilla !
_
9. DEAR AUNTY,
What's the difference between a thirsty Goan and a hungry Goan?   Dhaba
...
Dear Dhaba:  One wants to pour-his-chao, the other wants his-choris-pao !!
 (chao=tea; choris pao=Goan hot-dog!)*
_
10. DEAR AUNTY,
I went to Tirupati. Too slow queues. Would a shout speed them up??   Bhat
..
Dear Bhat:  Nope. Just start chanting "Hurry Rama, Hurry Krishna"
_
11. DEAR AUNTY,
Carmo's crazy ! He claims Sashti booze is better than Bardez. I’ve tried
cajoling, but he winds me up so much, I really want to strangle him!  Mario
...
Dear Mario: Don't get 'madd' – it’s not 'fenny'!! Just 'cajel' him to death!
  (madd=fenny=cajel=Goan liquor!)*
_
12. DEAR AUNTY,
Is it true guitarist Mark Knopfler's band had Goenkar habits ??Bondo
...
Dear Bondo:  Yup, didn't you hear of them - Dias Traits !
('Dire Straits'!)*
_
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.

_
Ready for the world's first international mobile film festival celebrating 
the creative potential of today's youth? Check out Mobile Jam Fest for your 
a chance to WIN $10,000! www.mobilejamfest.com


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[Goanet] **DEAR AUNTY No. 30 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))**

[Francis Rodrigues]

  **DEAR AUNTY No. 30 - WEEKLY TOP 12**
_

1. DEAR AUNTY,
Goa always water shortage!! So any drink you can to offer me neat?   Naidoo

Hey Nandaba! Water big fuss ! Vodka, Naidoo??
(what a big fuss! what can I do??)*
_
2. DEAR AUNTY,
Why you igressive ? At what age you got married ??  Neri
..
Dear Neri:  Idiot! At the igr-age !(igrej=church!)*
_
3. DEAR AUNTY,
I been invited India to make speech at Ganges in Benares. What to say? Osama
...
Dear Osama:Start:  "I see Urination of many different peoples !"
  (Urination=you're a nation!)*
_
4. DEAR AUNTY,
UR crazy! But yr Goan maid list didn't have the naughty ones! Please?? Cecil
...
Dear Cecil:  Out working= Bai Na;Effeminate= Bai Juana;
  Oversweet= Apur Bai;   Easy going= Chalu Bai
_
5. DEAR AUNTY,
What secret memo Insp. Clouseau send valet Cato about rare Goan bird? De Vil

Dear De Vil: 'Cato Re. Budgie !'
('Kator re baji'=seize the moment! attrib. to the Abbe Faria's mentor)*
_
6. DEAR AUNTY,
My friend's jokes always fail, nobody laughs at his endings! Why?  Hans
...
Deaar Hans: That my dear, is because it's a ponch-line !
   (ponch=flop!)*
_
7. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm lining this chick, but she no respond, only aks two flowers! Why? Faltu
...
Dear Faltu:Hey stoopid, she's warning you " Don't fool, hanh !!"
 (Don fullam=two flowers!)*
_
8. DEAR AUNTY,
I marry Carlos Sao Borges de Santa Rita Vaz, big Bamon! Why he beat me? Lalu
..
Dear Lalu:Haha! I guess he's showing he's true Carlos !!
(his true colors!)*
_
9. DEAR AUNTY,
Is it true South Goan men use their kashtis as a fashionable belt? Carmo
...
Dear Carmo:  Yes, uncle! That's why they're known as Sash-tis !
_
10. DEAR AUNTY,
Why French aunty reply "yes, yes!" to Gujju uncle's "what, what?"  Pia
.
Dear Pia:   Oy, same thing ! Her "oui, oui' to his "soo, soo" is No. 1 !
_
11. DEAR AUNTY,
Everyday we fight the rubbish threat to Bainguinim. So frustrating!Aires
...
Dear Aires:   Dude ! Don't worry. Every litter bit helps !
_
12. DEAR AUNTY,
Is it OK for my pal, Shreeji to make tomato puree for after-dinner?  Ladu
..
Dear Ladu:  Are you crazy??  'Shree can't puree'  for dessert !
 (shrikhand puri = sweetmeat!)*
_
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.
http://www.goanet.org/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=574

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Xavier's -- three prominent institutions in Mapusa, Goa. Events 
scheduled from Dec 16 to 21, 2006

For more details visit http://www.bmxgoa.com

[Goanet] **A RING FOR GOA**

[Francis Rodrigues]

A warm summer's day, smell of the beachthe gulls overhead,
silver sands 'tween your toeswarmth rising from the paddy,
laughing taverns in the even, the tinkle of midnight mass...Goa...
Ring a bell? The blockbuster of 2006, brings it all sweeping back...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JuOD7MxqWg

Your Goa, my Goa, our Goa.would you remember it, this Xmas?
Goa Sudharop (www.goasudharop.org) works quietly, re-building
our ancient land. Try and get a teeny ticket for their Xmas raffle
- its barely pennies, and even then, you can join up with other
Goans from all over, to get a goenkar ticket, and not feel it at all !

Drop a line to Melanie or George of Goa Sudharop, they'll be
delighted to help you get a ticket, or even just to say hi !
[EMAIL PROTECTED];   [EMAIL PROTECTED];

C'mon, drop a line now, whilst Goa rings sweetly in your mind


'Aunty Ponty'
http://www.goanet.org/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=574
  -
 **pls fwd**
  

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Goanet supports BMX, the alumni network of Britto's, St Mary's and
Xavier's -- three prominent institutions in Mapusa, Goa. Events 
scheduled from Dec 16 to 21, 2006

For more details visit http://www.bmxgoa.com

[Goanet] **LORNA - CHILLIN' FOR GOA**

[Francis Rodrigues]

Folks,
My sincere apologies for the *Ring for Goa* multiple
posting - hitting the wrong despatch made it replicate!

On the plus side, the beautiful Melanie and debonair
George reported a surge in Goa Sudharop raffle sales!
[EMAIL PROTECTED];  [EMAIL PROTECTED];

By way of making it up to you, here's a gorgeous
stunner from way-back-when. Go back almost 35
yearsCalangute beach at the height of summer,
hot, sultry, Matisse skies, tangy scentsand then,
over the PA system, suddenly this smoky, raw, siren
voice volcanically engulfs the milling thousands - Lorna !!!

Well, here she is again -  just last week - resurrected and
still numbingly electrifying. And if you shed a nostalgic
tear at the end, remember another little 'Lorna' in Goa
today, a-Lorn-e and for-Lorn too...Goa Sudharop is making
all the difference. Drop them a line/get a couple of tickets.
For Lorna..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zIgcrLO690&mode=related&search=


'Aunty Ponty'
http://www.goanet.org/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=574

_
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Goanet supports BMX, the alumni network of Britto's, St Mary's and
Xavier's -- three prominent institutions in Mapusa, Goa. Events 
scheduled from Dec 16 to 21, 2006

For more details visit http://www.bmxgoa.com

[Goanet] **THE GIFT & THE RAFFLE**

[Francis Rodrigues]

Hey guys,
Thanks heaps for your support of Goa Sudharop's Xmas raffle.
In particular, I've been delighted by your letters from all over,
mentioning how much you all enjoyed Lorna's clip etc (I've
attached one such below). Why was it necessary? Well ! I can't
very well ask your support, without giving you something in return!

There's just a week to go now, and as we approach the raffle
target, those of you who've not had the time, might want to
pick up a last-minute ticket or two. If you're a resident Goan
Assocn. anywhere, you could consider getting a block of a few
tickets for your members. You never know your luck! One such
group of 20 Indian workers here in Brampton won $23 million
dollars in the Canadian lottery yesterday ! C'mon give it a go!

Go to www.goasudharop.org, use the Paypal facility, get tickets.
I've a little gift for you as Christmas approaches, and the stresses
of daily life build up. I'm a member of Pro-life Search, and we've put
together this little collection of "The 69 Maxims of St. Teresa of Avila"
to say thanks for supporting Goa Sudharop's raffle. We own the rights,
so the book comes entirely free to you. You can access it here:

http://www.prolifesearch.org/downloads/MaximsTeresaAvila.pdf

If you need the latest copy of Adobe Acrobat Reader to read
the book, you can download it here for free too:

http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep2.html

Thanks again for buying a ticket and have a Holy Advent season.


Francis.
..

>Re: **LORNA - CHILLIN' FOR GOA**
>Posted by:  "mack cruz" [EMAIL PROTECTED]
>Tue Dec 5, 2006 7:31 am(PST)
>
>hi mateey,
>thanks a lot for the clips of lorna..really enjoyed..and got very 
>nostalgic..never ever seen lorna on video..or live befor..but as a 
>kid..used to hear all her songs..and saw just posters..of hers in magazine 
>and billboards..around the contry...mind you those days..never even owned a 
>video recorder..if they existed then,
>..talking about the 70s..any ways most of the clips were of poor
>quality..except for one..which was very good..once again
>thanks...and look forwards to seeing more stuff like that..
>
>mack

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Goanet supports BMX, the alumni network of Britto's, St Mary's and
Xavier's -- three prominent institutions in Mapusa, Goa. Events 
scheduled from Dec 16 to 21, 2006

For more details visit http://www.bmxgoa.com

[Goanet] **DEAR AUNTY No. 32 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))**

[Francis Rodrigues]

   * * *  2006  ANNUAL  GOANETTERS MEET - GOA  * * *

WHERE: Foodland Cafe - Miramar Residency - Miramar, Goa

WHEN: December 21, 2006 @ 4:00pm

More info:

http://lists.goanet.org/pipermail/goanet-goanet.org/2006-December/051412.html


  **DEAR AUNTY No. 32 - WEEKLY TOP 12**
_

1. DEAR AUNTY,
What did the pandit's wife say, when she threw his clothes away?  Doby
..
Dear Doby:  She scream:"I'm sari, I’ve to kashti's away, they're too dhoti!"
   (sari, kashti, dhoti=items of clothing)*
_
2. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm new here - what's Konkani for father of twins & father of triplets? Jitu
..
Dear Jitu:  Father of twins = Pa'tiu!Father of triplets = Pa'dri !
   (padri=priest; pa'tiu=uncle-priest)*
_
3. DEAR AUNTY,
I asked for a sun-hat in a temple courtyardand got arrested! Why?  Willy
...
Dear Willy:Idiot ! Did you shout loudly "I want topi !"?(to pee!)
   (topi=hat!)*
_
4. DEAR AUNTY,
Why Brutus kill Cesar?? They were neighbors! Was it some love-affair?  Pandu
...
Dear Pandu:Stupid !  Cesar's cesari was cazari !
(cesari=neighbour; cazari=married)*
_
5. DEAR AUNTY,
After honeymoon night, the husband came down walking crooked! Why?   Okle
..
Dear Okle:Haha ! I guess the groom was now raw !
   (groom=nouro!)*
_
6. DEAR AUNTY,
My old aunts cry loudly but are very ferocious & greedy at funerals. Why? Jo

Dear Jo:   Maybe they’re just...'crocodile tia's ??'
   (tia=aunt!)*
_
7. DEAR AUNTY,
My maid grows 'ladyfingers'. The bending has bent her legs. What to do? Bena
..
Dear Bena:   Nothing ! Just call her bhendi-legged !
 (bhendi=ladyfingers!)*
_
8. DEAR AUNTY,
Why you sitting near temple drum strumming Hindu hymns? Move away!Bhatt
...
Dear Bhatt:   Sorry dude, I ain't bhajan ! I love to sitar round the tabla !
 (ain't budging!)*
_
9. DEAR AUNTY,
We hassle our drama teacher with piggy sounds! How can she correct us? Misty
...
Dear Misty: The best idea for her is 'dukor actions !'
   ('do corrections!'; dukor=pig)*
_
10. DEAR AUNTY,
How come Al-Qaeda fanatics go to Mecca,then kill people. Are they nuts? Afra
..
Dear Afra:That's most'lame ! Anybody can Mecca mistake !
  (most'lame=Moslem!)*
_
11. DEAR AUNTY,
Have you seen the hit comedy "Harold and Kumar go to WhiteCastle"?  Fred
..
Dear Fred:No, but I've seen 'Harold and Navin go to the dogs !'  haha !
(Herald, Navhind=Goan dailies)*
_
12. DEAR AUNTY,
Industries Minister Luizin is my best friend! Can I call him Lou?Micky
...
Dear Micky: Depends if you want to 'use' him, or loo-se him, haha !
  (as in 'use the loo' haha!)*
_
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.
http://www.goanet.org/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=574

_
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Goanet supports BMX,

[Goanet] **GNATS, VETS & BETS**

[Francis Rodrigues]

* G * O * A * N * E * T  C * L * A * S * S * I * F * I * E * D * S *

Spread the Christmas cheer - even when you're not here!
  Send Christmas Greetings to your loved ones in Goa.
   2006 Christmas - Two Packages available from EXPRESSIONS

  http://www.goa-world.com/expressions/xmas/

Once upon a time, there was this young basketball star called
Merv the Swerve. From beyond the line he sunk these wicked
"trey" sky-hooks, that swerved and whistled past grasping guards,
whoop into the hoop. To the uninitiated, the 'trey' is the magical
three-pointer that sinks major teams on the buzzer. Merv was "Mr.
Three-point-oh !" as the nubile pom-pom girls sang. Hoo boy !

To all those who've been asking, who's the Mervyn behind Goa
Sudharop's Xmas raffle, yup that's him ! Though typically he's
shortened his nickname to Mervyn 3.0, in the process breaking
more than one red-ruffled cheer-leader's heart Giant of heart
and size (at 6.5 ft, he's some inches above me!), he's turned his
betting acumen to GS and Goa... And, yes, he did win that house!!

http://ca.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mervynalobo/detail?.dir=mail&.dnm=4989re2.jpg&.src=ph

Which brings us to GNAT - the first official Goanet-ters Association!!
The President of GNAT is a vet. Literally. Kevin S, also known as K1.
A more riotous lot would be hard to find - Torontonians all - Bosco,
Ben, Kevin, Lisette, Silviano, Mervyn, Roland, Olinda, Victor, yrs truly!
Our motto, "to party & to party-cipate", is not only why you find us
involved in GS's raffle, but also passed out regularly in front of well-
known T.O. dives! We have an open invitation to denizens of all Goan
sites/fora/lists in cyberspace - need any help, give us a buzz; visiting
Canada, be our guest, we'll be delighted to wine, dine and shine you!

Buy that bunch of Goa Sudharop raffle tickets today !! Maybe not
a house just yet, but...you'll get there ! www.goasudharop.org.
Use the Paypal button to purchase as many tickets as you want.
The draw's this Fri at Merv's - of course we'll be partying like crazy!

Francis
..

<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote

.The Princess Margaret Hospital conducts a
lottery every year in its drive to raise funds for cancer research. Tickets 
are $100 each. The prizes range from houses to cars to bicycles. Since I 
did not want to spend time making another phone call in the morning, I 
bought a lottery ticket from the hot line.


Three weeks later I was out of a job and at home. I got a call at 9.30 am. 
Another Goan asked, breathlessly, "Have you been watching CityTv?" I said, 
"No."  My friend then said,
"Hey, you just won a house." The draws for the PMHL are always held live on 
TV


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December 31, 2006! Just download Windows Live (MSN) Messenger to your 
IM-capable TELUS mobile phone, and you could be a winner!  
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Goanet supports BMX, the alumni network of Britto's, St Mary's and
Xavier's -- three prominent institutions in Mapusa, Goa. Events 
scheduled from Dec 16 to 21, 2006

For more details visit http://www.bmxgoa.com

[Goanet] **DEAR AUNTY No. 33 - WEEKLY HUMOR :-))**

[Francis Rodrigues]

   * * *  2006  ANNUAL  GOANETTERS MEET - GOA  * * *

WHERE: Foodland Cafe - Miramar Residency - Miramar, Goa

WHEN: December 21, 2006 @ 4:00pm

More info:

http://lists.goanet.org/pipermail/goanet-goanet.org/2006-December/051398.html


  **DEAR AUNTY No. 33 - WEEKLY TOP 12**
_

1. DEAR AUNTY,
Why you went only Goa Sudharop raffle - others too fiery to sell??   Machis

Dear Machis:Hey, I camphor the draw, not to sulphur others !
  (hey, I came for the draw, not to sell for others!)*
_
2. DEAR AUNTY,
My New Year prediction - Cosa Nostra mafia gonna get you, haha! Ramus Damus
..
Dear Ramus: My dear ignoRamus, you're no Nostra damus !
_
3. DEAR AUNTY,
One night, my Goan bride took off her clothes and vanished! How??  Bruto
...
Dear Bruto: Aha! That was the great Indian 'rope' trick !
   (roupe=clothes)*
_
4. DEAR AUNTY,
I scholar, but sneeze constantly "Shiin, shiin!" Pls.knock-knock my nose! Mo

Dear Mo:  "Knock! Knock!".."Konn re?"."Shiin!"
   "Shiin konn??"."Arre, pishaShinkonn brute!"
   (shinkonn brute=educated, but beastly!)*
_
5. DEAR AUNTY,
Our priest told my Dad to marry me off on 1st Jan, not during Xmas! Why? Jen
..
Dear Jen:   He New Year father!
_
6. DEAR AUNTY,
I want to become instant priest, all sacraments, in 24 hours. Help! Sam Neri
.
Dear Sam:  Why don't you try the Rush-all seminary ??
(Rachol seminary!)*
_
7. DEAR AUNTY,
For the hundredth time - what shall I take to come pose for you?  Mario
...
Dear Mario:Campose. 100 tabs.
_
8. DEAR AUNTY,
Is Gov'ment building new Zuari bridge, or just using old, rusty boats?  Jose
..
Dear Jose: Don't you know that's just another Gorment ferry-tale?!
_
9. DEAR AUNTY,
Is it true old tiatrists flop because they become alcoholic?  Jacob
...
Dear Jacob:  You know, I think it's the 'boos' that finally gets them !
  (boos/booze)*
_
10. DEAR AUNTY,
Is it true the Dudhsagar flowing waters taste of sweet milk? Joe
.
Dear Joe:Dudhsagar? False!   (Dudhsagar Falls!)*
_
11. DEAR AUNTY,
I protested the loud temple-bells, and they sent me the puri-walla! Why? Pan
.
Dear Pan: Idiot! Did you request "Arre, bell purr re !!"
  (bhel puri=Indian snack)*
_
12. DEAR AUNTY,
You think you're so pure, don’t you? Who sent you to preach to us?? Albert

Dear Albert:   Exodus 16:4.And the Lord said "Behold, I am sending Mana
from heaven!"
 (mana=aunt!)*
_
Disclaimer: all original material [EMAIL PROTECTED] *translations for
'tube-lights' & non-konkani readers worldwide. Forward with acknowledgement.
http://www.goanet.org/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=574

_
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Mobility is giving away an Microsoft Xbox® 360 every day from November 20 to 
December 31, 2006! Just download Windows Live (MSN) Messenger to your 
IM-capable TELUS mobile phone, and you could be a winner!  
http://www.telusmobility.com/msnxbox/

[Goanet] **DEAR AUNTY No. 34 – X'MAS DOUBL E** :-))

[Francis Rodrigues]

   **DEAR AUNTY No. 34 – X'MAS DOUBLE**
   **BUMPER CHRISTMAS EDITION**
 _
 
1. DEAR AUNTY,
How do you know Regional Plan 2011 is Santa's evil present for Goans? Ria
.
Dear Ria:  Because it was brought by Rane-dear !  (reindeer!)*
_
2. DEAR AUNTY,
I'm going to "Glorian's" after midnight-mass. What shall I order?  Sally
...
Dear Sally: Glorian eggshells's stew !
('Gloria in excelsis Deo' - carol!)*
_
3. DEAR AUNTY,
Is Santa a Goenkar? Does he have any property in Goa?   Cecil.
...
Dear Cecil:   Yup! He has fields in Aldona. They're called Santa-shett !!
_
4. DEAR AUNTY,
I loves 2 teachers, Chris and Lis. What shall I do on 25 Dec?  Nick
..
Dear Nick:   Oh boy !  'Marry Chris Miss !!'
_
5. DEAR AUNTY,
Which Christmas drama are you going for with JoeGoaUK at Kala Academy? Bella
...
Dear Bella:  "D'Silva Bells"  'drummer by' Natalie N. Chirathi
 
(Silver Bells, Drummer Boy - carols!)*(Natalanche rati=Christmas night)*
_
6. DEAR AUNTY,
Which Hindu and Catholic feasts co-incide?   Holly
...
Dear Holly:   The Christmas-Holi days!
_
7. DEAR AUNTY,
What's the difference between Bethora and Bethlehem?   Caspar

Dear Caspar:   One was the Nylon Site, the other, Silent Night.
_
8. DEAR AUNTY,
My friend's Dad, Feliz, is in the Navy. How do I salute him at Xmas?  Rico
..
Dear Rico: "Feliz, Navy-Dad !!"
_
9. DEAR AUNTY,
I Baga flower-child, high on drugs!! Don't forget to wish me for Xmas! Jimi
..
Dear Jimi: Sure, dude!  "Hippy Ecstas-mas" !
 (Ecstasy=trance drug)*
_
10. DEAR AUNTY,
Do you have Herald's Vasco Headlines for 26 Dec. in 1 A.D.?   John Baptista
..
Dear John:  "LODGINGS FULL - COUPLE GOAN HAVE BABY IN MANGOR!"
_
11. DEAR AUNTY,
I loves Noel B, Joe P, Roy D, Noel F. Who to take for Sinquerim Dance? Dolly
...
Dear Dolly:   "The first Noel...!"
_
12. DEAR AUNTY,
What role you suggest for me to get lotsa girls at the Harmonia dance? Romeo
...
Dear Romeo:  Just 'saunter close' dear !
('saunter close'=Santa Claus!)*
_
13. DEAR AUNTY,
I hear Father Christmas not coming Goa, joined ship. Where he gone?  Cipy
..
Dear Cipy:  SantaCruise ?
_
14. DEAR AUNTY,
Which is the favourite carol of Rom-Rem-Rod, Wilmix Trio, Mendes Bros.? Antu
..
Dear Antu: "We Trio Kings of Konkani are..!"
_
15. DEAR AUNTY,
Did you know Father Christmas and his twin sing in a Bhangra group??  Daler
...
Dear Daler:   Haha ! You must mean 'Santa & Banta' Singh !
_
16. DEAR AUNTY,
Can I give you a nice, big Toyota for Christmas?  Babush M

Dear Babush:   Hey, not a toy  ota !  Gimme a real one, idiot !
_
17. DEAR AUNTY,
I can't understand the carol my son's teasing his Mum!Dad
.
Dear Dad:   "Avoi ein tho mangar..!"('Away in the manger'!)*
  (Avoi ein tho mangar=making fun when Mummy comes!)
_
18. DEAR AUNTY,
Do Africans offer Santa 'sannas' in exchange for his gifts?   Jumbo
...
Dear Jumbo: Yes ! They go "Ah,Santasana !"
  (Asante sana=thank you, in Swahili!)*
_
19. DEAR AUNTY,
Is it true the Monte monks in Margao distribute oil tins at Xmas?Godfrey
.
Dear Godfrey:   Yes, whilst they sing "Goan tel idon de Monte!"
  (Go and tell it on the mountain

Re: [Goanet] Question Everything !

[Francis Rodrigues]

>Vidyadhar Gadgil  writes:
>
> -- "Question everything!" -- Karl Marx 
. 

OK Vidy, here goes! 

Q.: Was Marx's grave a communist plot ??? 

FR
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[Goanet] Macacas !

[Francis Rodrigues]

"Macaca" has been used derogatorily since time 
immemorial against coloureds (by the fair-skinned), 
deriding them as 'monkeys'! It's origin is from the 
Portuguese 'macaco' (monkey), and for example, 
was a pretty common insult to the locals during the 
Portuguese occupation of Goa. Even more hilarious, 
non-Portuguese speaking local kids took it to be a 
hyphenated insult ("ma !), and died laughing! 

FR 
..
CORNEL DACOSTA [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:> 
I am intrigued by the term "Macacas" for South Asians 
in some parts of America. Pray, what is its origin?   

Cornel,
A Macaca is someone who has been arrested and who 
lies in special jail without being charged. I do not think 
it refers only to "South Asians." It is also a generic term 
that is also used for anyone who could be arrested without 
the need for charges. 
Mervyn3.0
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Re: [Goanet] Macacas!

[Francis Rodrigues]

Mervyn,

Be not afraid, O wise one, of being contrary! I have
personally, during my regrettable youth, called many
unfortunates "macacas" - as in many latin cultures all
the way from Spain to Mexico! This reprehensible slur
or 'monkey epithet' may be cross-referenced here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macaca_(slur)

The origin and etymology of the slur are covered rather
extensively here (incl. even a 'Tintin' ref!), particularly
in Patrice Lumumba's unforgettable 30th June, 1960,
Congolese Independence Day speech accusing Belgian
King Baudouin of presiding over "a regime of injustice,
suppression, and exploitation", before ending "We are
no longer your macaques!!", as the Congolese in the
audience rose to their feet cheering hysterically!

An extensive net-search of your version has been
unsuccessful. I'm not too sure about 'Kaka' being of
E. African origin either - shouldn't that be Indian?
Anyway, what the heck, let's take up your suggestion
- anyone hence, calling another a "macaca" should be
summarily chucked into a US jail, without being charged!

FR.
.
>Mervyn3.0  wrote:
>FR,
>You are talking about another time and another place.
>In E. Africa, Kaka is elder brother. Makaka's are several
>elder brothers? I must insist that "macaca" as used by US>politicians is a 
>term for those who can be thrown into jail
>by the US without being charged. Unless, of course,
>someone here has another name for such people.
..
>Francis Rodrigues [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
>
>"Macaca" has been used derogatorily since time
>immemorial against coloureds (by the fair-skinned),
>deriding them as 'monkeys'! It's origin is from the
>Portuguese 'macaco' (monkey), and for example,
>was a pretty common insult to the locals during the
>Portuguese occupation of Goa. Even more hilarious,
>non-Portuguese speaking local kids took it to be a
>hyphenated insult ("ma !), and died laughing!




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[Goanet] Hey !

[Francis Rodrigues]

Thanks Gabe, and all who've mailed! Quick word:

I was quite overwhelmed, 6 months ago, by the
unexpected (?) response from Goanetters, when
I experienced a 'visual' problem, and had to take
leave of absence from cyberspace. The sheer
volume of calls (and mails which I only read much
later), quite threw me - from all corners of the
globe, but most particularly, the 'tough ol' US!

Thanks guys - in particular, folks who kept calling
often on a daily/weekly basis - Arnold Noronha,
Silviano Barbosa, Bosco D'Mello, George Pinto, Dr.
Jose Colaco, Richard Silveira, Roland Francis, Kevin
Saldanha, JoeGoaUK, Mervyn Lobo, Olavo Athayde,
many more - even spoke with Fr. Joachim Loiola
Pereira, Fred Noronha - others who met personally,
Cornel Da Costa, Gabe Menezes, Sunith Velho, Cecil
Pinto, Eddie Fernandes, Jacob De Souza, Victor Martins,
Miguel Braganza, Nasci Caldeira, Dexter Martins, Tony
Fernandes, and lotsa others, too numerous to mention!

I can't mention all the female Goanetters who called (!),
obviously, but Judaline, Olinda, Jolainne, Vilma, etc. etc.,
you all know who you are! Thanks awfully guys! Despite
the rapid-fire exchanges, Goanetters are a rather caring
bunch it seems. Now who would ever have thought that...!

The most-asked question - 'Aunty'?? Perhapsnow that
I've finally been allowed access to my computer, though
it's been 6 long months, her mails have piled unimaginably,
and I actually thought she perished in that hunger-strike
with Victoria! Anyway, great to be back, let's party!

FR.
...
>"Gabe Menezes"  wrote:
>
>Welcome back Francis! The answer to your question:
>Karl Marx's grave was definitely not a Water Gate
>affair, it was in fact a High Gate situation !



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[Goanet] *IT IS A TRUE !*

[Francis Rodrigues]

Dear Floriano, 

I love your 'Mangaldass' English, e.g. below ". I believe 
that bluntness brings out the real in a person...!" Huh??

As the current Orbit ad goes "It is a true !!" 

Not to mention the brilliant obfuscation of your last para... 

Your dialogue is straight out of 80's Bollywood - like, yo, 
almost as if you/Goa Suraj wrote this classic exchange 
from the '82 movie Namak Halaal! Remember? The scene 
is the one in which Amitabh (Arjun Singh) is introduced to 
Ranjeet by Ram Sethi for the first time in the movie..

Ranjeet: Yeh sab to theek hai, magar angrezi-vangrezi 
  aati hai ya nahi.
Amitabh: E lo kar lo baat. Arre aisi angrezi ave hain ke 
  I know such english that I can leave angrez
  behind. I can talk english, I can walk english, 
  I can laugh english, I can run english, because 
  english is a phunny language. Bhairon becomes 
  Byron and barren becomes Bhairon because 
  their minds are very narrow! In the year 1929, 
  when India was playing Australia at the Melbourne 
  stadium Vijay Hazare and Vijay Merchant were 
  at the crease. Vijay Merchant told Vijay Hazare 
  "Look Vijay Hazare! This is a very prestigious
  match and we must consider it very prestigiously! 
  We must take this into consideration, the consider-
  ation that this is an important match and ultimately 
  this consideration must end in a run!"
Ranjeet: O.K., O.K., O.K.!!
Amitabh: In the year 1979 when Pakistan was playing 
  against India at the Wankhede stadium Wasim 
  Raja and Wasim Bari were at the crease and
  they took the same consideration. Wasim Raja 
  told Wasim Bari "Look Wasim Bari! We must 
  consider this consideration and considering that
  this is an important match we must put this 
  consideration into action and ultimately score a 
  run!"  And both of them considered the
  consideration and ran and both of them got out!
Ranjeet: Oh shut up!! 
  ..
Om, Shanti, Om! 
FR.

"Floriano"  wrote:
> Once again, do hold your views which are dear to you. 
>And I shall hold mine. It shall not bother me any if you go 
>ahead and wet your pants over Manohar Parrikar. I have 
>always been blunt and at many occasions I have been told 
>so. But my being blunt has never upset me because I 
>believe that bluntness brings out the real in a person.
>
> No offence meant.
> floriano / goasuraj.

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Re: [Goanet] "FEPPI BODDEI !"

[Francis Rodrigues]

OK, this time we didn't forget!!!
(re. msg. below from a year ago!)

To long-time Toronto Goanetter and celebrated
Goan author ('The Sixth Night'), Silviano Barbosa:

"Many Happy Returns!"  Have a great year, Silvo!

>From all on Goanet! And, if you can spare a min:
Silviano: 905-856-7220. mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]

Another Happy camper, blissfully celebrating their
wedding anniversary on 3rd Nov. too, Goanetters:

Mona and Roland Francis ! Congratulations! Wow!

Roland & Mona: 416-332-0741 / 416-453-3371.
mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] 

...
> Date: Fri, 03 Nov 2006 20:45:09 -0500
> From: "Silviano Barbosa" 
> Subject: [Goanet] OK! FEPPI BODDEI TO ME!

> I don't rely on anyone!
> So I will do it to me, just like at Xmas I send a Xmas
> card to me (from u know who) and I email to myself
> (I don't even get junk mail on my B-day) and I make a
> phone call to myself (from cell to land line, and I tell my
> family, see someone wished me!), as no one will do it for
> me. So no shinn on anyone: Even though I remind people,
> how not to forget my boddei, they still do mud-dom, boddveam!
>
> November 1- All Saints Day (as if I was a devil)
> November 2 - All Souls Day (Almas do outro Mudo)
> November 3 - All Silviano-s Day.
>
> Now will you remember next year? Or do I have to
> advertise it on Herald? like a Montri? I would feel so good
> if I receive just one email form a femail. Ektti asli ti mhoji
> avoi legun meli. Ti bori "FEPPI BODDEI PUTA" mhunntali
> phona-cher. Atam kitem kortoli, Devakodde email na khoim
> voir. Fottmail only available in-fern.
> Cheers! Kuttu! ah, ha, ha, boro ishtrong mure ho?
> Khoincho re, Kannkonncho?"
>
> Silviano
>

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[Goanet] Re.: In deep sympathy/Sanny De Quepem

[Francis Rodrigues]

SDQ, we'll miss you!

FR.
...
>From: sylvester vaz :
>Subject: [Goanet] In deep Sympathy.. 
>We are deeply shocked and stunned at the sad and 
>untimely demise of our friend and co-Tiatrist Sanny 
>Vaz (Sanny de Quepem), on 9th Nov.2007 in Kuwait. 
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[Goanet] Fracas over Macacas !

[Francis Rodrigues]

Dear Mario,

I would've written this letter on Sat. but my poodle
died, her name was Lucille, I'm sure you know the
song, it's your life-story, huh? Toledo bars suck...!

It's Sunday now, the preacher's rant on "Thou shalt
not bear false witness" reminded me you should quit
blaming Merv/Cornel for that over-extended Macacas
exclamationdude, as Shaggy goes, "dat wuz me!"

http://lists.goanet.org/htdig.cgi/goanet-goanet.org/2007-October/063791.html

Dear grampa, the reason was not gramma', but
dyslexia - too many MBAs read the exclamation as
a Spansh 'i' upside down, if too close...oh whaddever!

Speaking of which, as a so-called 'injun-eer' from
Ann Arbor, when are you ever going to learn the
difference between 'gage' and 'gauge', and 'trash'
and 'thrash'?? Or, given the unfounded rumours of
your early demise (heavenly harps suit you), does
your MBA merely serve to confirm "Mario Boro Asa"?

I do apologise for Gabe - Toledo's no rust-bucket,
better known for it's wide lawns and narrow minds!

FR.
P.S. You should sit up straight and not cross your
legs when replying. And "tight kashti" is no reply!
...

Mario Goveia's response inter alia to Mervyn Lobo:

"I noticed that your post and Cornel's had a space
between the last letter and the exclamation mark,
which I took to be a typo, so I deleted the space in
my response because the extraneous space looked silly.
>
Since both you and Cornel had posted comments under
the subject Macacas ! I cannot understand how you
could say, as you have done above, "This is the first
time I have seen anyone use an exclamation mark with
Macacas."
>
Because you and Cornel had used Macacas ! as your
subject, complete with exclamation mark, I left it in
so that others could make the connection with the post
I was responding to".
>


---



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[Goanet] Re. FRacas over MAcacas !

[Francis Rodrigues]

---
 http://www.GOANET.org 
---

St. Mary's Convent High school, Mapusa is staging a play titled "Lion King"
  December 1, 2007 - Hanuman Hall, Mapusa

 to fundraise for a false ceiling for the school hall
& upgrading the school playground

 Headmistress Sr. Namika A.C. / Teacher Mrs. Sonia Noronha
   [EMAIL PROTECTED]
---



To Maria Goveia:

Dear SpongeBob Squarepanties,

The starch in your shorts is giving you wedgies !

It appears you've not seen your parole officer this
week. But have you done your 5 steps ? Pls. repeat:

-I admit I am powerless over nothing (deep breath)
-I am really a hobo, found by Mervyn Lobo (exhale))
-I admit hallucinating publicly on Goanet (breathe in)
-I will stop flaming and fabricating falsehoods (hold)
-I seek treatment with Dr. Gullible Lawrence (release)

Ready ?? OK, SQpants, so now you think you're an
English wordsmith ! Your Spongy tissue upstairs is
showing ! FN's fav oracle, Wikipedia, loftily opines
"gage" is in dwindling use.like the dwindling
"gauge" below your navel ?? My point exactly.

Re. 'FR.acas over MA.cacas', did you notice,
Shakespeare, whose names are upper case ?
Now you understand why "donkey comes last"?!

Dear Maria, pls excuse me - I've been making fun
of morons since 1983 ! BTW, did you know your
original Sanskrit name "Umaryo Gowaya" means
"he who looses control" (sic) ? And just so you
know kiddo, "loser" is spelt with only one "o" !

Mwuuuhahahahaha !

FR.

PS. Take Eng.lessons from the wonderfully creative
Dr. U.G. Barad, since overflow failed your "excess"
to the archives ! Be "frick out", Maria...if things
don't flesh out, there's always the "flash trade" !

Maria Goveia, [EMAIL PROTECTED], hallucinated:
>
Obviously you were absent from English class when the
word "gage" was described as as a variant of "gauge".
So, now I've taught you something you apparently
didn't know.
>
I'll bet you never expected this English lesson:-))
>

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[Goanet] *CONGRATULATIONS, IVANA !*

[Francis Rodrigues]

---
 http://www.GOANET.org 
---

Goanet mourns the passing of Jorge de Abreu Noronha in Portugal - Nov 27/07

 http://tinyurl.com/2dk2bl

 http://tinyurl.com/29kpdx

---



On behalf of GNAT (GoaNetters Association Toronto),
we are delighted to congratulate double world-champion
Ivana Furtado! GNAT VP Bosco D'Mello will journey to
Goa and make a cash token of appreciation to Ivana
on our behalf, for her stunning achievement. Congrats!

I'm sure Goans worldwide are as proud of this brilliant
7-year old prodigy, and will find words of appreciation,
following as she does, in the footsteps of the only other
Goan world-toppers, Michael Ferreira and Rita Faria.

Francis Rodrigues.
GNAT
Toronto.

--
PANJIM, NOV 28: There is no stopping Ivana Furtado!! After
securing a place in the Limca Book of Records for being India's
youngest World Champion, Ivana added another feather to her
cap by retaining the World Girls under-8 chess title inTurkey.

Ivana now becomes only the third girl after Koneru Humpy
and Dronavalli Harika to win more than one World age group
title. Ivana's title triumph in distant Antalya was received with  thunderous 
applause right from Kanyakumari to Kashmir.

World Champion Viswanathan Anand was among the first to
congratulate Goa's child prodigy. The World Champion hailed
the triumph and said he was delighted that there was one more
age group World Champion."I was in contact with Ivana Furtado
and was supposed to have played a simultaneous in Goa but
could not make it," Anand said on the AICF official website,
before continuing, "I am happy for her win and wish her well.

Chief Minister Digambar Kamat said Ivana's amazing success
at Antalya will be a great motivator for youngsters in Goa. "I
am sure Ivana's triumph will inspire many others," said Kamat.
Goa State Chess Association President Sameer Salgaoncar
attributed Ivana's success to her coach Dronacharya awardee Raghunandan 
Gokhale, her family and GSCA.   .../AGENCIES


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[Goanet] *HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED!!*

[Francis Rodrigues]

26 December, 2008.

Fred Noronha's birthday has been one of Goanet's best
kept secrets. Until today. We just couldn't let it pass!

"MANY, MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY, FRED!!"

Frederick N.J. Noronha and I became acquainted in the
first days of IRC chat over a dozen years ago - the
rudimentary Goanet of half a dozen relay-chatters.

I was still in Kenya, from whence Herman Carneiro had
recently moved to Boston, and 'founded' Goanet. I still
have the same id - Fred's has evolved exponentially.

Over the years I ran into Fred now and then, particularly
when my sons made little waves, and Fred covered them
for the local media, with the likes of Ethel and Devika.

Essentially Fred has evolved into the workaholic network
guru of the Goan milieu. More, he remains relentlessly
dependable. That, today, remains a quality beyond measure.

Yesterday I sent out a small mailer asking about twenty
regular posters, to say a few words how they saw Fred in
Goan cyberspace, as a birthday tribute. It is a measure
of the immense regard in which Fred is held, that within
a few hours, almost all had replied quickly and succintly.

If you, who read this, find yourself touched in some way
by Fred's writings, take a minute to drop a quick word to
Fred online, like these good souls below. Life's too short!

Fred, from around the globe, your contemporaries below
would like to pay tribute to your selflessnes and spirit.

Read on. From all of us in Goan cyberspace "Parabens!"
Contact Fred: Tel:832-2409490 [EMAIL PROTECTED]

All the best, Fred!

Francis.
Toronto.
..

SELMA CARDOSO (USA):
"Frederick hates it when I call him darling, but he is one".

CARMO DA CRUZ (USA):
"Fred Noronha is the Best ! He Keeps all us Goenkars together !
Viva Fred ! Viva ! Viva !"

CORNEL DA COSTA (UK):
"What on earth would we do without Fred(erico)? May he continue
to thrive in 2008".

SILVIANO C. BARBOSA (CANADA):
"Fred has put in so much of his time, efforts and creativity into 
developing a Goa-centric resource-base that we can all be proud 
to be part of".

VICTOR RANGEL-RIBEIRO (USA):
"Frederick Noronha is a catalyst and a gadfly. Both get society 
thinking and moving; both cause good things to happen. And 
because he is always willing to learn, I predict that his sphere 
of influence will increase with every passing year".

JOHN DE SOUZA (CANADA):
"Best Wishes to Frederick Noronha - See You All in Toronto - 
'The Meeting Place' - July 2008"

BOSCO D'MELLO (CANADA):
"Rico - The consummate Goan Networker".

JOE GOA (UK):
"Fred, always No. 1 (Top 10 posters on the Goanet). I don't 
know what time he goes to sleep as I always see him online 
at odd hours after 2am. Fred, you better take care of yourself 
too. I am grateful for your posts, website links, photos etc".

JOE LOBO (CANADA):
"As far as I can recollect , since 1996  Fred Noronha with his 
reporting from Goa on various issues  and his  pictures which 
are definitely worth more than a  thousand words has  been a 
catalyst in getting goans globally to reach out to one another 
on Goanet".

BEN ANTAO (CANADA):
"I think Frederick Noronha of Saligao continues to do his best to 
inform expat Goans in cyberspace about what's going on in Goa. 
He started, as I remember, in 1996 and has since grown in his understanding of 
the Goan personality. I pray that someday 
soon he might see the light and put his views on the line and not 
couch them in a neutral manner, like, on the other hand, etc. 
He should give up trying to be all things to all men and women!"

ROLAND FRANCIS (CANADA):
"To the man who has spent endless hours of his time giving 
generously to our cyber enlightenment. May his computer 
increase his magic".

VENANTIUS J. PINTO (USA):
"Fred has evolved into a journalist of the Goan being, and 
continues to fight at as many positions, as the ethos of Goan 
political sociology changes, like some psychedelic chameleon. 
He has paid for it, in no small measure, and has obviously 
developed strategies to continue getting to the heart of the 
matter, while retaining a high moral element -- yet delivering 
in a compassionate manner. I believe we will see a lot more 
of him in the coming decades".

OLINDA FERNANDES (CANADA):
"Fred, Pamela - looking forward to seeing you here in Toronto 
July 2008 - thank you for keeping the netters (nutters) on the 
right track all these years. Compliments of the season".

GABE MENEZES (UK):
"Noronha is his name, sitting by the computer is his game; he 
seeks it here, he seeks it there. Goanet would be No-net but 
for Fred and the 'Ted' ".

DR. JOSE COLACO (BAHAMAS):
"Fred Noronha has been instrumental in keeping Goan cyber 
dialogue active, pertinent and vibrant. His tireless effort and 
tremendous output is responsible for the level of communication 
we have now".

CHRIS VAZ (USA):
"Thanks to FN for keeping our memories of Goa alive. A very 
unselfish Goenkar who must put in a tremendous amount of 
his valuable time to help keep the Goan exp

[Goanet] FRED: more birthday msgs: 2 Pintos.

[Francis Rodrigues]

GEORGE PINTO (USA):

Date: Wed, 26 Dec 2007 02:23:43 -0800
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Re: *HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED!*
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]

Frederick has been a great boon to Goan cyberspace, 
continuously updating us for several years on the 
various going-ons in the diaspora. His stellar efforts 
were recognized a few years ago with a Goa Sudharop 
award for his online and tireless efforts. 

Happy birthday Frederick.
George Pinto
---

ERIC PINTO (USA): 

Date: Wed, 26 Dec 2007 03:26:52 -0800
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: RE: *HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED!*
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]

Thank you Fred.  My appreciation personally,
over the years.
Eric.
--



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[Goanet] FRED: Yet More Birthday Msgs!!

[Francis Rodrigues]

HELGA DO ROSARIO GOMES (USA): 

Date: Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:23:15 -0600
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED!

A few lines for Fred!

I could clog cyber space with praise for this bright, 
earnest, hardworking and sincere man! You could 
be in any time zone, log into gmail and you see Fred's 
green button! He has so many interests - open source, 
history, Goa and yet finds time to take an interest in 
other people`s work too! Thanks to Fred when I went 
to the Antarctic I was able to do a very successful 
outreach program which did not cost my funding agency 
a single dollar - which is how Fred wants it to be! He made 
a blog for me and all I had to do was send him posts.

Thanks Fred!
A very Happy Birthday.
Helga

Helga do Rosario Gomes
119 Lakeside Drive
Boothbay Harbor
ME 04538
USA
Visit my blog at http://goantoantarctica.blogspot.com/
http://www.bigelow.org/elnino/
http://www.bigelow.org/climatechange/


ERIC PINTO (USA):

Date: Wed, 26 Dec 2007 18:34:30 -0800
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: RE: HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED!
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]

" Fredrick and Freddie,
A Netforce to reckon with,
So remember, folks,
For a day to go nostalgic,
'FRED' - please don't pen it".

Eric.
--

N.B. re. above, Fred has mentioned his distaste 
for the appellation "Fred" quite a few times, 
preferring instead "Rico" or "FN" even. 'Ours 
not to reason why', but perhaps, in time. 
FR

_
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[Goanet] Cracking the Birthday Code!

[Francis Rodrigues]

Cracking Fred's birth-date wasn't as difficult as I thought, 
though Fred didn't make it easy! Being the private person 
he is, he'd covered his tracks extremely carefully! 

Not a trace to be found, nor a willing relative. In the end, 
as Fred so perceptively surmised, it was one lonely server 
in the far reaches of cyberspace which yielded up it's 
secret to the macro probe I sent out. Was really great fun! 

Do I also know how old Fred is? Yes, but I ain't telling!! 
Hope this satisfies all of you who wrote in to find out 

Cheers! 

Francis. 
"I'm a nobody. Nobody's perfect. Therefore, I'm perfect!" 
  

" Frederick [FN] Noronha*  ??? " wrote: 
>Hi all, Just only emerging out of my embarassment with 
>these birthday greetings... Generally, I prefer a private 
>birthday, not only because I'm too old to be celebrating :-) 
>and also because each day is a kind of birthday as long as 
>we utilise it well. Maybe I shouldn't have been truthful with 
>the computers and told them my date of birth. Some alarm 
>must have got triggered off somewhere. If only computers 
>could be more human, and forgetful :-) Okay. Let me be 
>gracious and say a 'thank you' for all the nice things you
>said about me... 


_
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[Goanet] More Birthday msgs. for Rico!

[Francis Rodrigues]

PETER D'SOUZA (USA):

Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2007 23:28:09 -0500
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED!

I am most grateful to Fred and the work he has done 
for Goanet over the past decade. He has been incredibly 
patient (and often forgiving) given the vituperative remarks 
hurled in his direction by those of us who have had our 
posts rejected by him. As someone who is often on the 
opposite side of the fence, ideologically, I must say that 
Frederick is a very thoughtful fellow and would love to 
meet him should I visit Goa anytime soon.

Peter
---

BERNADO COLACO (MACAU):

Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2007 03:22:39 +
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED!
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]

Hi Fred,

No Flame Baits for 2008!

Happy birthday
Regards

BC



_
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[Goanet] Daily Grook #188

[Francis Rodrigues]

DAILY GROOK #188
_

WED/DEAD
_
by Francis Rodrigues


the groom got off
the shotgun threat,
it was a matter of
.wife or death!


_
puns & word-play of all kinds,
if you read between the lines!
_


_

[Goanet] Daily Grook #189

[Francis Rodrigues]

DAILY GROOK #189
_

HATE ABATE
_
by Francis Rodrigues


terrorist drive
which spread,
their lies alive
now lies dead!


_
puns & word-play of all kinds,
if you read between the lines!
_

_

[Goanet] Daily Grook #190

[Francis Rodrigues]

DAILY GROOK #190


GRAB STAB

by Francis Rodrigues


flying into dabolim
a goan gets the jabs,
the first to bite him
are the taxi crabs!


_
puns & word-play of all kinds,
if you read between the lines!
_


_

[Goanet] Daily Grook #191

[Francis Rodrigues]

DAILY GROOK #191


BURY WARY

by Francis Rodrigues


funeral processions -
an undertaker's curse,
extra burials means
no time to re-hearse!

_
puns & word-play of all kinds,
if you read between the lines!
_


_
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[Goanet] Daily Grook #192

[Francis Rodrigues]

DAILY GROOK #192


TIE & DIE

by Francis Rodrigues


he tied her with strings,
she was really haughty,
and then he did things
that were really knotty!


_
puns & word-play of all kinds,
if you read between the lines!
_

_
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[Goanet] Daily Grook #193

[Francis Rodrigues]

DAILY GROOK #193


NOISE JOYS

by Francis Rodrigues


our choirs angelic
are all very well,
but modern music
is all gone to yell!


_
puns & word-play of all kinds,
if you read between the lines!
_

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[Goanet] Daily Grook #194

[Francis Rodrigues]

DAILY GROOK #194


POP FLOP

by Francis Rodrigues


when this rake
wed our mother,
we couldn't take
a step farther!


_
puns & word-play of all kinds,
if you read between the lines!
_


_

[Goanet] Daily Grook #195

[Francis Rodrigues]

DAILY GROOK #195


OLYMPIC HORRIFIC

by Francis Rodrigues


when liu xiang fell
the track girl said,
kiss me and i will
be your first aide!


_
puns & word-play of all kinds,
if you read between the lines!
_

_
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[Goanet] Daily Grook #196

[Francis Rodrigues]

DAILY GROOK #196
_

SPEED DEED
_
by Francis Rodrigues


medal not with usain
his speed really jolts,
for he, they complain,
eats nuts, and bolts!


_
puns & word-play of all kinds,
if you read between the lines!
_


_