Steph/grandmas
OMG Steph! What a horrible thing for your aunt to do? Has she lost her marbles? Is she always that way, or was it her reacting to her mother's death? People do strange things when they are in emotional distress. Like you, I was very close with my grandmother. We lived next door to her my whole life and I lived with her when I was in high school (my mom and I aren't very close; she's an alcoholic and I moved out when I got tired of her crap) and when I started my first teaching job out of college, and she was like a best friend to me. I loved her dearly. She died almost 10 years ago, when I was 26, and I took it very hard. I miss her deeply, as you do your grandma. After she died, I would be at Walmart, and put something in my basket that I knew she needed, and had to take it out when I remembered that she was gone. This went on for a while. It's so hard to let our loved ones go. I got really depressed and went to a counselor for a while, which was the best thing I ever did for myself. I am sorry that you lost your grandma and I am even sorrier that some of your family members don't understand you. Thank goodness for the grace of God, when everything else that's supposed to be fine and normal isn't. :) Wendy __ Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005 http://mail.yahoo.com
Re: Steph/grandmas
wendy wrote: OMG Steph! What a horrible thing for your aunt to do? Has she lost her marbles? Is she always that way, or was it her reacting to her mother's death? People do strange things when they are in emotional distress. No she was always a heartless you-know-what. She told my grandmother to her face that country club people shouldn't mix with mill hill people (mill hills in the south are houses the textile mills built for their employs, my grandparents both worked in mills and we still own the mill house they bought... and we still live there!), that was her excuse for not including her mother in their thanksgiving plans that year. I'm totally thrilled to be an only child... my dad's side isn't very nice, I look at the other three girls and wonder where he acme from 'cause he's a wonderful man and very generous and honest... his sisters lack those traits... one of hte three is a wonderful woman, but a habitual liar and truth stretcher... she's the only one I'll speak to. Guess I'm lucky I got the good one of the family for a dad! I am sorry that you lost your grandma and I am even sorrier that some of your family members don't understand you. Thank goodness for the grace of God, when everything else that's supposed to be fine and normal isn't. Thanks... I've been weepy and sad today... This entire weekend really... and this group is the most suportive and understanding group around... I lost my aunt fifteen years ago this month, my granddad 5 years ago this month, Candy, the mother to my Rosie, three years ago last month, Alphie, Rosie's sister, a year ago today, several other of my kitties died this week in the past 15 years, my Rosie has ailing health and isn't getting any better, and my dad has heart disease and is getting worse. I'm just totally unprepared to deal with facing anything at this point and I'm not prepared to accept mortality right now... I'm tired of dealing with death and dying... Somehow I've ended up horribly depressed lately, and I gained 20lbs to boot and nothing fits. Sorry for dumping my problems on you guys... Steph
Re: Steph/grandmas
Oh Steph, I hadn't been following this thread, I'm so sorry for all your heartache. This certainly is a bad month for you. Ours seems to be Feb. We're always losing someone, or having some catastrophic thing happen around that month. Take a deep breath, give yourself permission to be weepy, indulge yourself in any way you can. Know that you are cared about and make sure you do something nice/positive for yourself. I'm sending you hugs and support to gain the strength you need to see you through. One thing about life, it never stays the same, things are always changing. When things are dark, I close my eyes and hold on until the light shines again. Surprisingly, it always does. Hold on girl! Nina Steph E Caldwell wrote: wendy wrote: OMG Steph! What a horrible thing for your aunt to do? Has she lost her marbles? Is she always that way, or was it her reacting to her mother's death? People do strange things when they are in emotional distress. No she was always a heartless you-know-what. She told my grandmother to her face that country club people shouldn't mix with mill hill people (mill hills in the south are houses the textile mills built for their employs, my grandparents both worked in mills and we still own the mill house they bought... and we still live there!), that was her excuse for not including her mother in their thanksgiving plans that year. I'm totally thrilled to be an only child... my dad's side isn't very nice, I look at the other three girls and wonder where he acme from 'cause he's a wonderful man and very generous and honest... his sisters lack those traits... one of hte three is a wonderful woman, but a habitual liar and truth stretcher... she's the only one I'll speak to. Guess I'm lucky I got the good one of the family for a dad! I am sorry that you lost your grandma and I am even sorrier that some of your family members don't understand you. Thank goodness for the grace of God, when everything else that's supposed to be fine and normal isn't. Thanks... I've been weepy and sad today... This entire weekend really... and this group is the most suportive and understanding group around... I lost my aunt fifteen years ago this month, my granddad 5 years ago this month, Candy, the mother to my Rosie, three years ago last month, Alphie, Rosie's sister, a year ago today, several other of my kitties died this week in the past 15 years, my Rosie has ailing health and isn't getting any better, and my dad has heart disease and is getting worse. I'm just totally unprepared to deal with facing anything at this point and I'm not prepared to accept mortality right now... I'm tired of dealing with death and dying... Somehow I've ended up horribly depressed lately, and I gained 20lbs to boot and nothing fits. Sorry for dumping my problems on you guys... Steph
Re: Steph/grandmas
Hey Steph, Don't apologize. I bet many here have been where you are feeling right now and have a compassion for you. It's so hard to believe that people can be like your aunt. I have no concept of how it's even possible to go through life with thoughts like that; of thoughts that I'm better than someone else or higher up on the social ladder. The only solace I gather in dealing with people like this is that I know they are not happy people, and that, in and of itself, is justice enough for me, in a warped way. It sounds like the holidays are a hard time for you and I can see why. And I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I am close to my dad too, and if he was ill, I would be beside myself too. I will pray for him and for you. Is he able to be put on a waiting list to have a heart transplant? Just remember Steph that what you are feeling is only for a season, and happier feelings will eventually replace those if you just hang in there. Life is FULL of ups AND downs. As Newton said, what comes up must go down, (and vice versa when dealing with life). And if you get too depressed, clinically depressed, then go get help. Tom Cruise is an idiot sometimes, and if Katie Holmes gets post partum depression after she delivers his baby, then maybe he will understand that there is such a thing as drugs that help people's psyche. After my grandmother died, I wasn't eating or sleeping right, I couldn't get along with anyone at work, I was crying all the time for no reason, and felt like my mind was literally slipping, which was the scariest thing I've ever felt. So I went to my family doctor who I'd been going to since I was 14, and told him my symptoms. He said, Well, it sounds like you're depressed. I said, No sh_t, sherlock. lol. He said, No, I mean clinically depressed. I said, Well how do we fix that? and he said, You need to take anti-depressants to re-balance the chemicals in your brain. I said, I'm not taking anti-depressants! He said, Well, you can go on feeling like you are. I said, Write me a prescription. So I took those things for two and a half months and I was back to myself again, thank God, and then I stopped taking them, and I've been fine ever since. That was 10 years ago. I'm not saying you need medication. I am just saying that if you get too low, take care of yourself. Don't be afraid to ask for help or to take a prescription if you're too low and your doctor(s) think it would help. There are so many negative stigmas associated with taking meds, and if I wouldn't have had my own experience, I wouldn't have the confidence I do in them, which is weird for me, because I hate taking any pills for anything at all. Even vitamins. So the last place you will find me is strung out on pain killers! lol. But seriously Steph, try to enjoy some things in your life, like the kitties you do have, hang on, and keep looking on the bright side. And remember, this is only for a season. And we're always here for you to vent to. And stay away from your aunts during the holidays!!! Stay strong- :) Wendy __ Yahoo! Music Unlimited Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. http://music.yahoo.com/unlimited/
