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Why is football played for 45 minutes in each half, not 30 minutes or 1 hour? Even the sports scientist and some of the senior players could not give the right answer. In that confusing situation one person came up with a reasonable and brilliant answer. He said..."The reason people play this game for 45 minutes is... There are 2 teams and there are 11 players in each team. Each player brings his own "2 balls" So in total there are 44 balls. There is one ball on the ground itself. Thus the grand total is 45 Sometimes there is extra time of 2 mins which is because of the referee's balls!
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LOUD SEX A wife went in to see a therapist and said, 'I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell.' 'My dear,' the shrink said, 'that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is.' 'The problem is,' she complained, 'it wakes me up!' QUIET SEX Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, 'How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?' She glanced at him and replied, 'You're never home!'
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A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery,loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians, he buries them. The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?" The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."
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Forgot my glasses Yesterday my daughter asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. She suggested I go down to the senior centre and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I told her that I had joined a parachute club. She said "Are you nuts? You're almost 70 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card. She said to me, "You idiot, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!" I'm in trouble again and don't know what to do! I signed up for five jumps a week! Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier
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A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, 'What's the story?' He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor' She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
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Riddles: 1. I get stuck with a piece of meat between the buns. When I get old I get limp. You're never satisfied with a little head. What am I? 2. All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I? 3. Over 1,000 went down on me. I wasn't a maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open. What am I? 4. Why did The Lord give women nipples? 5. What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex? ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ 1.Lettuce 2. An Elevator 3. The Titanic 4. To make suckers out of men 5. One will make your day, and the other will make your hole weak
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THIS IS ROGER .. > >Roger Is In The Hospital . . . Who in the hell is Roger? > >Well Roger is the bloke who gets home late one night and >June, his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?" > >Roger replies "I was out getting a tattoo!" > >"A tattoo"? She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?" > >"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates" he said proudly. > >"What the hell were you thinking"? She said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why >on earth >would a Chartered Accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his >privates?" > >"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play >with my money. >Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going >out shopping, >you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want." > >Roger is in the Royal Melbourne Hospital, Critical Care Unit, Room 233 >
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The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello." "Mrs. Sanders, please." "Speaking." "Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well... We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good." "What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously. "Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV.We can't tell which is which." "That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders. "Normally we can, but MEDICARE will only pay for these expensive tests once." "Well, what am I supposed to do now?" "The MEDICARE Helpdesk recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him
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Paddy and Colleen were making passionate love in Paddy's mini van when suddenly Colleen, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out,"Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!" Paddy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration,he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Colleen until they both collapse in ecstasy. About a week later, Colleen notices that the marks left by the whipping are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?" Colleen, a little embarrassed that she has slept with Paddy (let alone that she allowed the kinky boy to whip her) eventually admits that, yes, she did. Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims, "I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor, you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen."
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A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you ok?" "I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm." The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. " I have never heard of that condition before" he said. . "Are you taking anything for it?" The woman nodded, "Pepper!"
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An old man walks into the barbershop for shave and a haircut, but he tells the barber he probably can't get all of his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.."
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Young people have theirs. Now Seniors have their own texting codes: * ATD- At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM- Covered by Medicare * CUATSC- See You at the Senior Center * DWI- Driving While Incontinent * FWIW - Forgot Where I Was * GGPBL- Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low * GHA - Got Heartburn Again * HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement * LMDO- Laughing My Dentures Out * LOL- Living on Lipitor * OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas * TOT- Texting on Toilet * WAITT - Who Am I Talking To? Hope these help. GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!)
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With all the advances in medical technology regarding fertility, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to at last give birth. A boy, Jason. As soon as she was discharged from hospital, I called in to see her. "Where’s Jason? Let me see him,” I said as soon as I came through the door. "Not yet," said my friend, a little testily I thought. "I'll make coffee. Let’s chat for a while first." So we had coffee and gossiped. After half an hour, I asked again: "May I see the new baby now?" "No, not yet," she said. So we gossiped some more, and had another cuppa. But now I was running short of time. “I’m afraid I have to go,” I said. "May I see the baby now?" "No, not yet," replied my friend. I was impatient. After all, that was why I had called. "Well, tell me, when can I see the baby?" "When he cries!" she told me. "WHEN HE CRIES?" I exclaimed. "Why must I wait until he CRIES?" "Because I forget where I put him, OK?” Senility meets Fertility …. Unlimited freedom, unlimited storage. Get it now, on http://help.yahoo.com/l/in/yahoo/mail/yahoomail/tools/tools-08.html/
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A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him, "How the hell do the two of you have sex?" The big guy says, "I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits on top, and I bob her up and down." His friend says, "You know, that doesn't sound too bad." The big guy says, "Well, it's kind of like jerking off, only I've got somebody to talk to now!" Connect with friends all over the world. Get Yahoo! India Messenger at http://in.messenger.yahoo.com/?wm=n/
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A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime. They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager. Patiently, the little boy said loudly, "Gee, she's fat!" The mother bent down and whispered in the little boys ear to be quiet. A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread his hands as far as they would go and announced; "I'll bet her butt is this wide!" The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy. The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet. After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the line. Just then her pager begin to emit a beep, beep, beep. The little boy yells out, "Run for your bloody life, she's backing up!!" Add more friends to your messenger and enjoy! Go to http://messenger.yahoo.com/invite/
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For all the orthopods on the site: The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopaedic surgeon's office. "You know, Doc," he said, "I've made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand." "And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you got from scrunching up in all those uncomfortable positions," the medic said. "Heck, no," the old fellow replied. "I want to borrow your Lamborghini!" Add more friends to your messenger and enjoy! Go to http://messenger.yahoo.com/invite/
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There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him. ''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ''did Santa bring it to you?'' ''Yep,'' the little boy said, ''he sure did!'' The cop looked at the bike and while handing the boy a $20 ticket he said, ''Next year, tell Santa to put a license plate on the back of it.'' To go along with the cop, the little boy said, ''Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?'' ''Yes, He sure did,'' said the cop. The little boy looked up at the cop and said, ''Next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse instead of on top." Add more friends to your messenger and enjoy! Go to http://messenger.yahoo.com/invite/
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Two gay men friends are walking through a zoo. They come across the gorillas, and after a while they notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. This fascinates the gay men. One of the men just can't bear it any longer and he reaches into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for six hours non-stop. When he's done, the gorilla throws the man back out of the cage. An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital. A few days later his friend visits him in the hospital and asks: "Are you hurt?" "AM I HURT?" He shouts, "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called, he hasn't written..." Explore and discover exciting holidays and getaways with Yahoo! India Travel http://in.travel.yahoo.com/
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A guy walks down to the bar and slams $20 down and asks the barman to get him a stiff drink. The barman serves the drink and enquires about his problem. "I just found out my brother is gay", says the man. "Man, that's tough", said the bartender. Two weeks later the same guy goes into the bar again and slams down $20 for another stiff drink. "I found out my father is gay too", he tells the bartender. Two weeks later he walks in again and before he has the chance to take his wallet out the bartender looks at him and asks, "Hey doesn't anyone in your family like to sleep with women?". "Yes", says the man. "My wife". Yahoo! recommends that you upgrade to the new and safer Internet Explorer 8. http://downloads.yahoo.com/in/internetexplorer/
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A gentle, well-brought up girl is moving to Mumbai. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice. "Daughter, when you're in Mumbai, if you're looking for a match there, you must remember the following requirements mother is setting for you. You must find a man who is faithful, not a spendthrift and he must be a virgin." With this advice from her mother, the girl went to Mumbai. Some months later, she came home to ask for her mother's blessings. "Mother, I've found my match. My future husband is faithful because when we went out for a holiday he took care of me specifically, even though there were so many prettier girls around. Isn't that being faithful?" Her mother nodded in agreement. "And then since it was getting late and rain was pouring, my boyfriend decided that we stay the night in a hotel. He also suggested that in order not to spend too much, we share one room only. So he's not a spendthrift, right mother?" For the second time her mother nodded in agreement, but with a little concern. "And finally mum, I know he is a virgin." "You do?? How do you know he is a virgin?" The wide-eyed mother asked. "Well you know.. his.. his 'that thing' is new... its still wrapped in plastic, mother!" See the Web's breaking stories, chosen by people like you. Check out Yahoo! Buzz. http://in.buzz.yahoo.com/
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A young woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Arabian Sea off the Gateway of India.. She went down to the pier and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day. Moving closer he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy". The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me." "He sure is, lady," the Captain said. "This is the Elephanta Island Ferry." - Meet people who discuss and share your passions. Join them now.
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Once a farmer has a horse, who has a very depressing face, so the farmer puts up an ad in local newspaper. "Anybody who makes my horse laugh, gets $10,000". The next day a man comes up to the farm and says" I can do it, just let me be alone with the horse for 5 minutes". The farmer agrees. After 5 minutes, the man comes out with the horse, and lo and behold, the horse is actually laughing. The farmer is surprised and pays up. After a couple of days, the farmer gets irritated to find his horse still laughing. He again puts up an ad, this time it states. "Whoever makes my horse cry, gets $10,000". The next day, the same man comes up and again says, "Give me 5 minutes alone with the horse." The farmer agrees. After 5 minutes, the man leads a crying horse out of the stables. The farmer is surprised, he asks the man, "What did you do with the horse?" The man says, "The first time I told the horse, I was hung bigger than him. So, the horse started laughing." The farmer is amused, and asks, "What did you say the second time." "Well, I actually showed him." said the man. - Share files, take polls, and discuss your passions - all under one roof. Click here.
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A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, "I'm going to a costume party, and I want to go as Adam."The girl brings out a fig leaf. But he says, "Not big enough!" So she brings out a bigger one."Still not big enough!" So she brings out a HUGE fig leaf. "Still not big enough!" he proudly tells her.So she says, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?" Yahoo! Photos Got holiday prints? See all the ways to get quality prints in your hands ASAP. Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info == This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking "Reply") will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Classifieds for personal advertisements are back on www.gaybombay.info site. Please exercise restraint in the language of your personal advertisement. YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS Visit your group "gay_bombay" on the web. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
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A woman is learning how to golf. She has been teaching herself to play for more than three months and she is really bad. She decides to consult golf pro. When she sees the golf pro, she explains how bad she is and he tells her to go ahead and hit the ball. She does. The ball goes about 50 yards into the brush slicing to the right. The golf pro says to the woman, "I can see that you have a lot of problems. Your stance is bad, your head is all over the place, and the worst thing is that grip." When she asks what can be done to fix the situation, he suggests, "Grab the club gently, as if you were grabbing your husband's 'club'. When the feeling is right, go ahead and swing." She does just that and the ball goes off the tee perfectly straight for about 275 yards. The golf pro says to the woman, "That is unbelievable, I didn't think you would do that well. But now on to the next problem. How do we get that golf club out of your mouth?" Bring words and photos together (easily) with PhotoMail - it's free and works with Yahoo! Mail. Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info == This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking "Reply") will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Classifieds for personal advertisements are back on www.gaybombay.info site. Please exercise restraint in the language of your personal advertisement. SPONSORED LINKS Love and romance Romance relationship Bombay india Gay men Lgbt YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS Visit your group "gay_bombay" on the web. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
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One woman says to another, " Has your husband been circumcised?" "Nope. He has always been a complete dick." - Yahoo! Mail - Helps protect you from nasty viruses. [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info == This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking "Reply") will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Classifieds for personal advertisements are back on www.gaybombay.info site. Please exercise restraint in the language of your personal advertisement. Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
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Little Johnny came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and dad? " and she replied, "they're up in bed" So he started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "Where's Mom and dad?" and she replied "They're still up in bed" and the he started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play. Then he came in for dinner an once again he asked his grandma "Where's Mom and dad?" and his grandmother replied "They're still up in bed" and he started to laugh uncontrollably and his grandmother asked "Why are you laughing everytime I tell you they're still up in bed ! What is going on here? " And he replied, "Well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him FEVIQUICK instead." Relax. Yahoo! Mail virus scanning helps detect nasty viruses! Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info == This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking "Reply") will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Classifieds for personal advertisements are back on www.gaybombay.info site. Please exercise restraint in the language of your personal advertisement. SPONSORED LINKS Love and romance Romance relationship Gay men Lgbt YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS Visit your group "gay_bombay" on the web. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
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Giorgio is in this country for about 6 months. He walks to work every day and passes a shoe store. Each day he stops and looks in the window and admires a certain pair of Bocceli leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much it's all he can think about.After about 2 months he saves the $300.00 the shoes cost and purchases them Every Friday night the Italian community gets together at a dance in the church basement, so Giorgio seizes the opportunity to wear his new Bocceli leather shoes to the dance.He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her, "Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?"Sophia, startled, says, "Yes, Giorgio, I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?"Giorgio replies, "I see the reflection in my new $300.00 Bocceli leather shoes. How do you like them?"Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he says to her, "Rosa, do you wear white panties tonight?"Rosa answers, "Yes, Giorgio, I do, but how do you know that?"He answers, "I see the reflection in my new $300.00 Bocceli leather shoes. How do you like them?"Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Giorgio asks Carmella to dance. Midway through the dance his face turns red. He says, "Carmella, stilla my heart, please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight, please, please, tella me this true!"Carmella smiles coyly and answers, "Yes Giorgio, I wear no panties tonight."Giorgio gasps and says "Thanka God ... I thought I had a CRACK in my $300.00 Bocceli leather shoes!" Yahoo! Mail Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments. Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info == This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking "Reply") will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Classifieds for personal advertisements are back on www.gaybombay.info site. Please exercise restraint in the language of your personal advertisement. SPONSORED LINKS Romance relationship Bombay india Gay men YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS Visit your group "gay_bombay" on the web. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
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A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother.Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle." Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less. Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info == This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking "Reply") will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Unsubscribe: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] (attachments are removed in the digest mode. You get one or two digest mails per day containing all emails, minus pictures/attachments) No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Rss feed: http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com/maillist.xml Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Classifieds for personal advertisements are back on www.gaybombay.info site. Please exercise restraint in the language of your personal advertisement. To post mates/freinds wanted log on to http://pub35.bravenet.com/classified/show.php?usernum=2998156902 YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS Visit your group "gay_bombay" on the web. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
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About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave Rome. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, the Jews could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave. The Jews realised that they had no choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Moishe to represent them. Moishe asked for one addition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed. The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Jews can stay." An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what had happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?" Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe. "What happened?" they asked. "Well," said Moishe, "First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here." "Yes, yes,.. and then???" asked the crowd. "I don't know," said Moishe, "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine."
g_b Sundae
PLAYING THE GAME OF INDOOR GOLF IN A PROPER MANNER 1.Each player shall furnish his own equipment - normally, one club and two balls. 2. The owner of the hole must approve to play on a course. 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club into the hole and keep the balls out. 4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.Course owners are permitted tocheck the stiffness before play begins. 5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the club to avoid damage to the hole. 6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as is necessary until the course owner is satisfied. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again. 7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the whole course being played, with special attention to well formed bunkers. 8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players' equipment for this reason. 9. Players are encouraged to bring along rain gear, just in case. 10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing what they consider a private course. 11. Players should not assume that a course is in shape for play at all time. Some players may be embarrassed to find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case. 12. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine. 13. Slow play is encouraged; however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request. 14. It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match. 15. The course owner will be the sole judge as to who is the best player.
g_b Sundae
This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School California) Staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes. This is the actual answering machine message for the school: "Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection: ·To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1 .To make excuses for why your child did not do his/her work - Press 2 ·To complain about what we do - Press 3 ·To swear at staff members - Press 4 ·To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you Press 5 ·If you want us to praise your child - Press 6 ·If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7 ·To request another teacher for the third time this year - Press 8 ·To complain about bus transportation - Press 9 ·To complain about school lunches - Press 0 If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework, and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort, hang up and have a nice day!"
g_b Sundae
Three priests were in a train station on their way home to Pittsburgh. Behind the ticket counter was a very sexy, shapely, well endowed woman wearing a very tight sweater. She made the three priests very nervous, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets. The first priest approached the window. "Young lady, I would like three pickets to titsburg." He completely lost his composure and fled. The second priest goes to the window. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh and I would like the change in nipples and dimes." Mortified, he too fled. The third priest moves to the window. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And, I must say, if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger is going to shake his Peter at you."
g_b Sundae
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a rabbi, if they could discuss his use of the family car. His father took him into his study and said: "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair cut and then we'll talk about it." After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. They again went into the father's study where the father said: "Son, I've been very proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied the Talmud diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut." The young man waited a moment and then replied:" You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." The rabbi said: "Yes, and they walked everywhere they went."
g_b Sundae
The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited.. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, and then give a talk on salesmanship. Little Sally led off. "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30" she said proudly. "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit, and I credit that approach for my obvious success." "Very good", said the teacher. Little Debbie was next. "I sold magazines" she said. "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events." "Very good, Debbie", said the teacher. Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom, and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467", he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" "Toothbrushes", said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes" echoed the teacher. "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?" "I found the busiest corner in town", said Little Johnny. "I set up a Dip & Chip stand, and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample." They all said the same thing: "Hey, this tastes like dog poop!" Then I would say, "It is dog poop. Wanna buy a toothbrush? I used the President Obama method of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it's free, and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth." Little Johnny got five stars for his assignment. Bless his heart.
g_b Sundae
Beware of these viruses: Isnebola, usnebola, kyunbola , kesebola, kahanbola, kab-bola, tubola, wobola,mein-ne-bola, yebola –all more dangerous than Ebola
g_b Sundae
Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. "What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?.. and who are you?" he asked. "This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven." "WHAT!?? Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die.. I'm too young." Said Harry. "If I'm dead, I want you to send me back immediately." "It's not that easy", said St.Peter, "you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own..." Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad. "I want to return as a hen." Harry replied. And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But man, now "he" felt like the rear end was gonna blow.. then along came the rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm." he said. "How does it feel?" "Well, it's OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up." "Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before??" "No, how do I do that?" Harry asked. "Cluck twice, and then you push all you can." Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'Plop' and an egg was on the ground. "Wow" Harry said "that felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: "Harry, for Gods sake wake up, you're shitting all over the bed.
g_b Sundae
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A teenager walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colours: green,red,orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared. Every time the teenager looked, the old man was staring. The teenager finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter, old timer, never done anything wild in your life?" Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son." Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info == NEW CLASSIFIEDS SECTION SEEKING FRIENDS? VISIT www.gaybombay.info click on classified section and type your message in the post section once the link opens This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking "Reply") will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. For Parties and events go to: http://calendar.yahoo.com/YYY,04497/srt,0/gaybombaygroup/?v=42&POS= Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Yahoo! Groups Sponsor ADVERTISEMENT Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
g_b Sundae
Boss, to four of his employees: "I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to let one of you go." Black Employee: "I'm a protected minority." Female Employee: "And I'm a woman." Oldest Employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin." ...To which they all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds: "I think I might be gay..."
g_b Sundae
Doc," says Arthur, "I want to be castrated." "What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement. "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done," replies Arthur. "But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor. "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!" "I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind - either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor." "Well, O.K.," says the doctor. "But it's against my better judgement!" So Arthur has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading toward him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way. "Hi there," says Arthur, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me." "Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37years of life that I would like to be circumcised." Arthur stared at him in horror. "Damn! THAT'S the word!!!"
g_b SUNDAE
Three women had a very late night drinking Guinness. They left in the early morning hours and went home separately. They met the next day for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker the night before. The first gal claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home, walked into the house, and as soon as I got through the door, I blew Chunks." To which the second gal replied, "You think that was drunk? I got in my car, drove out of the parking lot, and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!" And the third proclaimed, "I was by far the most drunk. I got home, I got in a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over and burned the whole house down!" They all looked at each other for a moment. Then the first gal says, "Ladies, I don't think you understand. Chunks is my dog."
g_b Sundae
There was a Great Dog Convention. They come from near and far. Some came on bicycles, and some came in cars. Y'know, before they could enter, or even take a look, they had to take their asshole off, and hang it on a hook. But before they even got seated, (every mother, pup, and sire), An old dog hollered from the back, "Run for your life. It's a FIRE!" The crowd of dogs began to panic, and nobody stopped to look. They grabbed the very nearest asshole, off the very nearest hook. And this is why, even today, a dog will drop a bone, to sniff another dog's asshole, to see if it's his own.
g_b Sundae
Dear Colleagues, Due to current financial position, economic recession and probable future mergers, the management has decided to implement a scheme to put all employees over 25 years of age on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged Personnel Early). Persons selected for RAPE can apply to the management for the SHAFT (Special Help After Forced Termination) scheme. The situation of the employees who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW (Scheme for Retired Early Workers) scheme. An employee may be RAPED only once, SHAFTED twice but may be SCREWED as many times as the management deems appropriate. Employees who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants and Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earning for Retiring Personnel Early Severance). Obviously employees who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED by the Management any further. Employees on SHAFT or SCREW will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives to its employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring it to the notice of your Manager. We have been trained to give you all the SHIT that you can handle. Manager - Personnel & Administration Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info == NEW CLASSIFIEDS SECTION SEEKING FRIENDS? VISIT www.gaybombay.info click on classified section and type your message in the post section once the link opens This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking "Reply") will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. For Parties and events go to: http://calendar.yahoo.com/YYY,04497/srt,0/gaybombaygroup/?v=42&POS= Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
g_b sundae
An 80-year-old man is having his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. "I've never been better," he replies. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant with my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But, one day he's in a bit of hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So he's walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly he spots a beaver in some brush in front of him. He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle. BAM! The beaver drops dead in front of him." "That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief, "Someone else must have shot that beaver." "Exactly!"
g_b Sundae
The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary... alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter... and supply a new definition! Here are some recent winners: 1) Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 2) Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 3) Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 4) Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 5) Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 6) Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 7) Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 8) Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit) 9) Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 10) Glibido: All talk and no action. 11) Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. And, the pick of the liter(ature): 12) Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info == This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking "Reply") will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS Visit your group "gay_bombay" on the web. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Re: g_b Sundae
Oh very good sms Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone -Original Message- From: asfan Sender: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Date: Sun, 4 Jul 2010 13:18:49 To: ; Reply-To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subject: g_b Sundae Why is football played for 45 minutes in each half, not 30 minutes or 1 hour? Even the sports scientist and some of the senior players could not give the right answer. In that confusing situation one person came up with a reasonable and brilliant answer. He said..."The reason people play this game for 45 minutes is... There are 2 teams and there are 11 players in each team. Each player brings his own "2 balls" So in total there are 44 balls. There is one ball on the ground itself. Thus the grand total is 45 Sometimes there is extra time of 2 mins which is because of the referee's balls!
Re: g_b Sundae
good one :) --- On Sun, 4/7/10, asfan wrote: From: asfan Subject: g_b Sundae To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, gaybom...@yahoogroups.com Date: Sunday, 4 July, 2010, 7:48 AM Why is football played for 45 minutes in each half, not 30 minutes or 1 hour? Even the sports scientist and some of the senior players could not give the right answer. In that confusing situation one person came up with a reasonable and brilliant answer. He said..." The reason people play this game for 45 minutes is... There are 2 teams and there are 11 players in each team. Each player brings his own "2 balls" So in total there are 44 balls. There is one ball on the ground itself. Thus the grand total is 45 Sometimes there is extra time of 2 mins which is because of the referee's balls!
Re: g_b Sundae
LOL From: asfan To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com; gaybom...@yahoogroups.com Sent: Sun, May 8, 2011 5:19:25 AM Subject: g_b Sundae Forgot my glasses Yesterday my daughter asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. She suggested I go down to the senior centre and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I told her that I had joined a parachute club. She said "Are you nuts? You're almost 70 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card. She said to me, "You idiot, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!" I'm in trouble again and don't know what to do! I signed up for five jumps a week! Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier
RE: g_b sundae
that was good To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]: [EMAIL PROTECTED]: Sat, 9 Feb 2008 23:07:41 -0800Subject: g_b sundae An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old pen buggy one cold, blustery January day. The daughter said to the mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up." So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up.The next day, the daughter was riding in the buggy with her boyfriend. The boyfriend said, "My hands are freezing cold." The daughter replied, "Put them between my legs, they'll warm up."The next day, the boyfriend was again driving in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is freezing cold." The daughter replied, "Put it between my legs. It will warm up." He did, and his nose warmed up.The next day, the boyfriend was once again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."The next day, the daughter is driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?" The slightly concerned mother says, "Sure, why do you ask?" The daughter says, "Well, they make one hell of a mess when they thaw out!" Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. _ Get Hotmail on your mobile, text MSN to 63463! http://mobile.uk.msn.com/pc/mail.aspx
Re: g_b Sundae
g_b Sundae Bonus
On the evening of the Royal wedding, Camilla was becoming somewhat uncomfortable in her regal attire. Unfortunately, the shoes she had worn that day were a bit too small and, by the time the festivities were over, her feet were in agony. When Camilla and Charles withdrew to their bridal suite, the only thing she could think of was getting her ill-fitting shoes off. The rest of the Royal Family crowded round the door to the bedroom and they heard roughly what they expected, grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually they heard Charles say, "God, that was tight." "There," whispered the Queen. "I told you Camilla was a virgin." Then, to their surprise, they heard Charles say, "Right - now for the other one." This was followed by even more grunting and straining and at last Charles exclaimed, "My God! That was even tighter!" "That's my boy," said the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info == NEW CLASSIFIEDS SECTION SEEKING FRIENDS? VISIT www.gaybombay.info click on classified section and type your message in the post section once the link opens This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking "Reply") will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. For Parties and events go to: http://calendar.yahoo.com/YYY,04497/srt,0/gaybombaygroup/?v=42&POS= Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Re: g_b Sundae
Good one! --- asfan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info == This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking "Reply") will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
g_b Sundae (an oldie)
An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to be putting everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers: "Captain Marvin has asked me to announce that he will be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you would just put your trays in an upright position, that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me Miss, because of those big brute engines. I asked you to please raise your tray so the Main Man can gently put us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no-one." To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up bitch."
g_b Sundae (very tasty!!)
A woman goes to her boyfriends parents house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women's feet, and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!!!" The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!!!". Once again the woman smiled and thought, 'yes!'. A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip with a fart that rivalled a train whistle blowing. Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!"
g_b Sundae - an old one but still funny
Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting and wanted to go out and party. He called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pick up some young girls. Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look after him. A little disappointed, Superman "SMS" Spiderman to see if he fancied a few beers but Spiderman said he had a date with Catwoman. As a last resort,Superman flew over to Wonderwoman's apartment to see if she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonderwoman naked on the bed with her legs open and her eyes closed. Superman thought to himself, "So exotic, should I or shouldn't I ...wait ...I'm faster than a speeding bullet! I can be in there, have sex & out again before she knew what happened." So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flies off happily. Meanwhile on the bed, Wonderwoman said, "What is going on? Did you hear anything ...?" Invisible-Man replied, "No! But... my ASS hurts like hell!"
